What a Thursday

It's crazy snowing here today.

It takes ten-ish minutes to get to school. This morning it took me half an hour to get there and half an hour to get back home. I left early to go pick up my kindergartners, and when I got them I signed out my third grader, too. No way was I going to chance that drive a third time!

So we're all home and "cozy" for the storm.

The boys had a tremendous snowball fight in the backyard.

All three of them are eating the gingerbread houses they made at school. I think the sticky fingers might just drive me insane.

I've shoveled the driveway three times already today and the sidewalk once (thanks to the awesome neighbor who came through with their snowblower!). There's already another couple inches out there and I should think about going out again.

My baby is taking a nap. He's one year old now. I hardly know what to make of how quickly he's growing up.

I should be cleaning.

The weekends never get here fast enough.

Christmas is getting here way too quickly. But I'm looking forward to it...if I can just finish getting ready for it.

I currently have a love/hate relationship with my house.

And to the point- I am thankful for our Christmas tree. It's ten or eleven feet tall. It's not too wide at the base. It's gorgeous and beautiful and amazing and festive.

I love it.

What are you thankful for today?

"On December five and twenty..."

They say that writing is good for the soul.

Journaling is therapeutic and helps a person to work through their emotions. Writing out thoughts and seeing them on paper helps a mind to see things more clearly and better understand thoughts, emotions, reactions, etc.

So why is it that any time I've tried to sit down and write out my thoughts in the last months, that I don't like what comes out? What comes out doesn't feel like me, doesn't feel true to my core, doesn't feel productive or edifying...and you know me (or maybe you don't), if it's not edifying, I am not a big fan.

I refuse to believe that I am what I have written and deleted in the past months.

Cuz I'm not.

Yet I sit down to write and feel like I just start going in circles. It's insanely frustrating.

Every once in a while, something good and clarifying comes out of my efforts. But for the most part...circles, circles, circles.

Which may account for my lack of activity here.

Missed me?

No?

Well, who needs you!

I'm going somewhere different this Thankful Thursday.

I'm going to pat myself on the back and talk about me, me, me, and how awesome I am.

Historically, I haven't taken compliments well. But I think I'm doing a swell job improving being able to recognize truth in compliments and accept them gratefully.

So today I'm going to run right past tooting my own horn, and blast some long, loud notes. It may seem self-centered, but since I never do this and I'm only really repeating things other people have told me- it's alright, right?

And who can't use a good pep talk in the mirror every so often?

I am ridiculously optimistic. Pollyanna ain't got nothin' on me.
I am 50 times more charitable and Christian than I was 15 years ago, even five years ago. My first reactions may not always be thus, but usually I am on to more charitable thoughts in mere moments.
I am one of the strongest women I know. No joke.
I may not have a ton of friends, but with the ones I make I am true blue. And so are they!
I am a good mom. I love my boys and I work hard to establish and maintain boundaries that will help them grow up awesome and happy.
I am a stellar wife.
I am wise and intelligent. Not as quick-witted as I wish, but who likes a triple threat anyway?
I make really cute kids.
I have super awesome taste in the arts.

Yeah. That's enough horn blasting for now, I think.

What about you?

What about yourself are you thankful for?

It's not Thursday

So...you probably haven't noticed, but I haven't blogged in over three weeks. How dare I!

I found myself with writer's block the Thursdays I've sat down to write about my blessings.

It's not that I'm not thankful. I am. Promise.

I just couldn't think of anything to expound upon without feeling like I was doing it for the sake of doing it and not because I was really feeling it. Know what I mean?

Plus, my facebook page is full of posts of people listing something they're thankful for every day of this blessed month. I balk at that. It's stupid to do that, I know. I should be glad that many people are taking the time to think of their blessings. But I write that out regularly, the whole year long, and I don't want to look like I've jumped on the latest bandwagon. Yeah. I'm ridiculous like that. Give a girl a break.

So I'm here to say...life is insane. I love my new carpet and I hope it makes someone buy our house soon. I'm tired of being so drained. I love my boys (even though the two middle ones are pretty much driving me batty lately). I love my husband. We went to the ballet last night. It was awesome. Except for the large head in front of me that blocked my view of the dancers' feet.

And I like weekends.

I hope you all are enjoying this wonderful autumn month. Thanks for listening.

Merry-making

Anticipation is a wonderful thing.

I adore this time of year. It's my favorite season. The weather is phenomenal and the change is seasons is beautiful.

But it also signals the beginning of the portion of the year when the most holidays, traditions, and such happen.

Though it's not my favorite holiday, the excitement of Halloween is burning brightly in my boys. 

After Halloween there's birthdays, anniversaries, Thanksgiving, more birthdays, Christmas, and the New Year to celebrate.

It's such a lovely time of year constantly having something in the not-too-distant future to look forward to.

I'm thankful for that today.

What are you thankful for?? 

Mountains to climb

I love them.

They complete me.

I neeeeed them.

Mountains.

I am a mountains girl.

I see beauty in all (most) of God's creations (jury is still out on insects and arachnids...and many kinds of sea creatures).  But especially his land creations. Tropical vistas, desert landscapes, sweeping valleys, vast oceans- I love them all.

But there's something extra special about mountains.

I love them in every kind of weather.  Hot summer evenings all lit up in the red lights of sunset. Chilly autumn afternoons awash in reds, yellows, oranges, and greens. Purple and majestic and covered in snow throughout the winter. Cold and blue and draped in low-lying clouds on a chilly spring morning.

My mountains are always beautiful.

I haven't always lived next to any mountains, but for all of my conscious years I have had mountains nearby to draw strength from. Thankfully, these awesome mountains run through the various states I've lived in.

And I do draw strength from them.  There's many a mountain metaphor that comes to mind as I enjoy the views and contemplate whatever is going on in my life that matches up.  Every single time I catch a view of the mountains, my heart lifts. Seriously. Every time.

Me and my mountains- we're tight.  

And I am so thankful they are close by and bless me daily.

What are you thankful for today?

Again?!

It seems like the weeks drag by and then suddenly- POW!! it's Thursday and the weekend is in sight.

Weird.

Anyway.

Today I am thankful for rain. Falling leaves. Colorful leaves. Hoodies. Oranges, reds, yellows, browns, and blacks everywhere.

You know. General autumnal stuff.

I am also thankful for essential oils and dayquil. Combined together they form a powerful force against this head cold.  If only they could stop a runny nose.

What are you thankful for today?????

Speak to me

The rest of today and the whole of tomorrow is all that stands between us and General Conference.

How lucky we are to have technology that makes it so easy for the entire world to hear from a prophet of God?

I am very excited to hear what the leaders of the Church have to share with us this weekend.

I am so thankful to know that God still speaks to his children through his prophets. I am thankful that I can listen with my family in the comfort of our home. I am thankful for an entire weekend devoted to soaking in and feasting on the good news Christ has offered us.

Yay!!!!

When you say you love me

I don't know if I've ever shared this here before.

Sorry if I'm repeating myself.

I have this thing I like to do.  Sometimes, when I hear a love song I like to think of the lyrics in a religious way instead of a romantic way. Words between me and Jesus.

Try it.  It's a great way to feel good about life when you're down.

One of my favorite songs to do this to is this one:



When I open my eyes to it, Heavenly Father and Jesus tell me I'm loved in a million ways throughout each day.

A soft rain that brings that heavenly smell through my windows. "I love you, Lindsey."

A mountainside of aspen trees in various stages of color changing. "I love you, Lindsey."

A gummy grin from Trooper. "I love you, Lindsey. And so does this baby boy."

Clouds hanging on the mountains, a misty dark blue sky, and the sunrise peaking through as I drive the boys to school. "I love you, Lindsey."

Peace washing over me from the top of my head to the ends of my toes when I pray. "I love you, Lindsey."

Open your eyes and see all the ways they are telling you they love you, too!

Thankful Thursday

Nuff said.

...for now:)  I'll talk your ear off about Jesus if you want me to!

What are you thankful for today?

Dear Thursday,

You've arrived in the midst of a speedy week.

I shouldn't be surprised.

You often show up on my doorstep before I'm expecting you.

Your spontaneity is usually appreciated.  Though sometimes, I'm a little too far down Loopty-loo Hwy on my way to the Funny Farm and then your arrival is just one more thing on my "Why can't I keep track of anything?!" list.

But that is neither here nor there.

I thought you might like to know that today's happy thoughts were brought to me by gummy smiles from Trooper, packing up decor and pulling the Autumn decorations out of storage, the anticipation of placing said decor about my home while my boys sleep tonight, scriptures, greeting happy boys after school, wearing a hoodie this morning because it was finally chilly enough to do so, macaroni and cheese, Looney Tunes, and mixed cds from high school.

Enjoy yourself, Thursday.  Thanks for the good times.  What are you thankful for today?

Gratefully,

Lindsey

Satire at its finest.

First world problems make it easy to forget that much of the people in the world must fight for their lives every day.

Because I should

Two weeks without a Thankful Thursday post is shameful.

So here I am on a Friday.

Thinking all sorts of random thoughts.  Wishing my life was in a different place. Trying to be grateful for where it is.  Feeding two boys lunch, trying to convince the baby to nap, and watching the clock so we don't miss the early pick up time for my firstborn.

I'm grateful for weekends.  Overcast skies. Peanut butter. Smiles from neighbors. Winnie the Pooh. Hope. The desire for hope.

Oh, Life.  What a trip.

Hope all is well in your corner of the world. What are you thankful for today?

There was a moment...

...when I watched my little baby feeding himself graham crackers.

He's growing up so fast.

They all grow up so fast.

When I had "three under three," I often heard comments to the tune of "enjoy these days. They grow up so fast."  To which I would think (through the mist of exhaustion and wondering when this interminable day would close...so another would start), "Yeah...riiiiight."

But they were right.  Looking back, those looooong days flew past in weeks, months, and years.

And I do miss them.

I enjoy this stage.  Very much so.  I love this stage.

But I still miss those days.

Especially since I've blocked out so much of the tough stuff;)

And now my Trooper acts like he'll be rushing up to join his brothers in their independence by tomorrow.

They grow up so fast.

Darn those gummed up graham crackers.

"Not happy, Bob. Not happy."

Life.

Pbthbbbbthththth.

Here's some things to be happy about.

Shirley Temples (the drink) made at home. Baby toys. Water balloons. Forgiving children. We've only had sniffles or low fevers (knock on wood) in the last couple months- hooray for relatively healthy boys! Baby food. Friends. Adventures. Grocery stores. Wearing a skirt just because. Flip flops. Vacuums. Clorox wipes. Green grass. Our wonderful backyard. The company of people I love. Solitude. Warm summer nights.  Thunderstorms. Frozen pizza (I need to put some in my freezer). Missionaries. Old books. Little boy imaginations. Anticipation (It's almost FALL!). Color. Music. Sleep. Soap. Pillows.

What are you thankful for today?

Well whaddayaknow? Yesterday was Thursday

Absolutely every single day I think, "What have I gotten myself into?...Four kids!?...Why did I think I could take care of FOUR human beings?  I can't do this.  I shouldn't be doing this!"

Absolutely every single day I think, "This is the awesomest thing in the world.  I want four more."

Contradiction seems to be motherhood in a nutshell.  At least in my corner of the world.

It's the most unnatural-natural thing I've ever done.

It's the most joyful-depressing thing I've ever experienced.

I was never so at peace and apoplectic.

Yessir, one big contradiction:)

I may be at my wit's end more often than I would wish, but I wouldn't trade the wonder it is to intimately experience the spiritual, intellectual, and physical growth of four amazing souls for anything.  Not for anything at all.

It's a privilege, an honor, and a joy to be Mommy to each of these four boys.

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for-

patience
reason
friends
smartphones
automobiles
formula
disposable diapers
my beautiful, beautiful house
sunshine streaming through my kitchen windows
Bret
my boys
faith

and Jesus.  Being what he needs me to be is not easy.  But I'm trying.
"God be thanked for the matchless gift of his divine Son." -The Living Christ

Reasonable Rules for Dating my Son

I've seen many, many memes and posts along the lines of rules/applications for dating someone's daughter.

They've got their wit and humor, to be sure.

As a mother of boys, I look at them with a different perspective.  Honestly, I don't like them.

This morning, I decided to see if anyone has responded with a rules/application for dating someone's son.

Thank you, Google, for making that search easy.

AND...I didn't like what I found for dating sons, either.

There's too much undertone of cruelty and anger running through these things:

"I will make you go away."

"Understand I don't like you."

"Don't dress like a stripper."

"She's not your conquest."

"Get a lawyer."

"I brought him into this world.  He's mine until there's a ring on your finger.  Then I will be your mother-in-law."

Sheeeeeesh.

So I made my own.

Presenting Lindsey's 10 Rules for Dating my Son:

1. Speak kindly to him.  He's been raised to speak respectfully, please give him the same courtesy- especially when you two disagree about something.
2. Smile at him.  It lets him know you enjoy his company.
3. You've been blessed with a beautiful body.  Please keep it covered.  Don't make him spend all his time spent with you trying to keep his mind in a good place.  Yes, he is responsible for his own thoughts and actions.  But could you give the guy a break?  Dress in a manner that makes it easier for him to concentrate on who you are and not what you are.  You'll both have more fun this way.
4. Respect his body and his space.
5. He is not allowed to hit you.  Do not take advantage of that.
6. He has been taught to pay on dates.  Do not take advantage of that.  He does not have unlimited funds.
7. I know what you two are writing and saying to each other.  Keep your communications clean and respectful and you'll never hear from me about it.
8. Please be honest and straightforward with him.  He's grown up with brothers and we just don't do mind games and emotional tomfoolery around here.  Don't lie to him, don't lead him on.  Just tell it like it is.
9. Be a lady.  Don't be crass and don't be crude.  He needs you to add something softer and gentler to his life.
10. The Golden Rule.  It's as easy as that.

And just to be fair, here is a sample of Dating Rules I will Teach my Sons:

1. Speak kindly to her.  Always.  Even and especially when she gets snippy.  Sometimes, girls just get catty against their better judgement.  You need to be rock solid respectful always.  She'll appreciate your strength.  But if she's always snippy, it's time to rethink what kind of girls you want to date.
2. Smile at her.  It lets her know you like to be around her.  And it lights up your eyes.  You have such handsome eyes.
3. Date girls who show respect for their bodies, and for you, by covering up.  Always keep a hoodie in your car.  That way, if you pick up a date who is not properly attired you can say, "You should have told me today was laundry day!  I would have waited to take you out until you had enough clean clothes.  Here, take my hoodie so you won't be cold."  If she doesn't think that's funny then puts on the hoodie or changes her clothes...chalk that one up to a bad match and try again next weekend with someone else.
4. Respect her body and her space.
5. If you ever push her around or hit her, you will find yourself in massive trouble with your parents and hers.  Punching and wrestling only works to solve problems between you and your brothers.  You have to talk to girls.  There will be much talking.  Don't let that frustrate you; enjoy this new facet of your life!
6. You asked her out, you pay the way for both of you.  Maybe she asked you out, or maybe she wants to pay her share.  If that is the case, you be polite and at least offer to pay.  Whatever the situation, never go out on a date unless you are prepared to pay for it.
7. I monitor all lines of communication.  The more you complain about that, the more often I will have surprise inspections.
8. You will not play dating games.  If you like her, date her.  If you don't think it's working out, tell her and stop dating her.  There will be no leading on.  Mind games are for sissies.  Around here, we mock sissies; you know that.
9. Open doors for her.  Not because she can't do it, but because it shows her you think more about her than yourself.  Be a gentleman.  If she doesn't appreciate that, then Son, you're dating the wrong type of girl for you.
10. The Golden Rule.  It's as easy as that.

So...there you go.  It should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway- This is only a very small piece of what I will teach my boys about dating.  We may be a way off from dating age, but it's never to early to start preparing, eh?:)

We meet again

It's Thursday.

And I just don't have it in me to blog today.

I figure I should say something, though, since I didn't blog last Thursday.

Soooo, here I am to give it a shot.

Today has been another ordinary day, made different by a visit from my brother and his family.  That was lovely!

My life has been full of lots of ordinary days lately.  Or, as ordinary as they get these days when everything is simultaneously in upheaval and limbo.

We're back at school.  Now with three boys instead of one.

It's a busy schedule and I'm feeling like I've achieved a new level of "legit" in motherhood.

I spent lots of time yesterday reveling in the little voices (that's little. But don't let it fool you; they're very loud little voices:)) narrating quite the imaginative scenes and sweet faces with round cheeks quietly intent on superhero books.  These things won't last long and I will miss them.

I will welcome and love each stage, to be sure.  But that doesn't mean I won't miss the little voices, the daily imagined adventures, the giggles, the constant light in their eyes put there by the constant wonder they are experiencing, the spontaneous singing without inhibition, the hugs, the kisses, and being their favorite person in the world.

Just last week I hugged Jonz after school and he pushed away and said, "Awww, Moooom."

All I could think was, "*sigh* It begins."

Then I grabbed his face and planted a big kiss on his cheek.  I can only get away with tricks like that for so long, you know.

I am thankful for this time of life.  It sure is fun.

What are you thankful for today?

Anthems

Just for fun, here are some of my anthems.  The songs that run in and out of my head, depending on the situation.

My cleaning anthem


My you're-all-idiots anthem



My be-nice-Lindsey anthem



My I-don't-have-it-any-harder-than-everyone-else-so-deal-with-it-and-rock-it anthem



My my-boys-are-awesome anthem



My I-love-my-husband anthem



Bret, I want a "You and Me" ReMemBory.  Brilliant way to celebrate our tenth...:)  Let's start the talks with Joe!

What are some of your anthems?????  Share with me, please!

Never enough

Life is good.

...but I always want more.

I'd like some heavenly guidance.  I've been asking, begging, and pleading for it for a couple months.

Especially so in the last few days.

I finally got some today.  Only it wasn't quite what I wanted.

I finally get an answer and immediately I'm basically whining (just like my kids, and I hate it when they do this!) that it's not enough.

*siiiiiiiigh*  Once again, Heavenly Father, I'm sorry.

Thank you for helping me to see more clearly.

Thank you for strengthening my faith.

Thank you for showing me that you ARE watching over my family, even when I start to wonder what's going on.

Thank you for being patient with me.

Thank you for showing me over and over and over again that you have plans for me and my family.  Plans that you understand better than me.  Plans that will lead to the best possible blessings that you can give us.

And thank you for blessing me with four sons who push me to be better and fill my life with smiles, shining eyes, hugs, kisses, laughter, and joy.

Thursday, Thursday

Today I am thankful for this:

Texas finally passed the bill I mentioned in this post.

(The inflammatory writing was annoying and the twisted arguments and tactics of the protestors still sadden me, but the bill passed.  Baby steps, baby steps (little Freudian slip pun there for you:)).)

For this:



And for this (I dare you to watch it without feeling any emotion):



I am grateful there are still many who are trying to protect life in this increasingly sexualized society.

I am grateful to know who I am and to belong to the largest women's organization in the world.

I am thankful for thought-provoking, tear-inducing, happy and uplifting videos. 

What are you thankful for today?

Someone loves me

Anyone else out there look at other people's struggles and think, "I could never do that.  They are so strong." ???

I do.

But really, the fact is- if you were in their shoes, you'd likely be just as strong. 

I mean what else are you going to be?

If you suddenly find yourself single, or unemployed, or crippled, or, or, or...what else are you going to do but pick up pieces and trudge on?

I suppose you could always end your life.  But let's just not do that, eh? 

Thanks.

On a much smaller and less dramatic scale, I have been discovering some of my own strengths.  There have been so many times in the last few months when I just wanted to give up. 

I get tired.  Tired of being the cheerleader, tired of being the referee, tired of being the coach (my life is just one big sports metaphor), tired of being the maid, tired of being the judge, jury, and enforcer, tired of being the nurse, and now I'm tired of making this list.  You get the idea.

Life is draining.

But when I get to the point that I start thinking about just stopping, I (ever so thankfully) realize that life is not about me and someone would suffer if I dropped whichever metaphorical ball is giving me the most grief.  And so I keep going.

I keep going. Even when I thought, "That's it.  I can't do it anymore."  And when I make that choice to keep going, oddly enough I have the strength needed.  It works in every single aspect of life.

Funny ol' world, innit?

Anyway.  All that to say, I've been pushed to the wall so many times in the last couple months and always found it give once I've determined to keep going.

This morning I was faced with another wall. 

I glared at the wall.

I stuck out my tongue and kicked that stupid wall.

I leaned against the wall and moped at its existence.

And then I decided to do something productive, but different; just to change things up.  I cleaned out a long ignored cupboard.

In it I found the interview I'd done with my dad about his years in the Navy, drawings and doodles from five year old Jonzy-boy, the clippings from the twins' first haircuts that I thought I'd lost, and the notes from Al's and Goose's baby blessings that I also thought I'd lost (and kicked myself for so many times!).

Yeah, I cried.

I found the notes about ten seconds into the job.  I look for them every six months or so, the last search being two months ago.  As soon as I spotted the notebook, God told me, "there it is."  I gasped and snatched it then started thumbing through it to confirm if it was or not.  When I landed on the right page, the emotions flooded and that wall jumped back a few yards.

It moved further away with every lost item discovered.

It makes me so happy to get nods from upstairs.  I love reminders that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my silly struggles. 

Even though I wish it was bedtime now;)

Baseball

Holy cow, it's Thursday!

I missed last Thankful Thursday and since the baby is napping and the other boys are pretending to sleep in a blanket fort- it's quiet:)

And since I feel like taking a break from cleaning in preparation for yet another showing, here I am to blog about something I'm grateful for.

And today, that is baseball!

It's been the summer of baseball for us.  Baseball and keeping the house spotless have been what our days are planned around.  After the last few months, I'm a little worried about what life will be like when we have multiple boys in multiple activities...

Jonzy boy finally made it onto a good team, with a good coach this year.  The regular season was tons o' fun and ended well.  Then he got the chance to try out for the All Star team, landed a spot, and there was another month of baseball for us.

Last night, though, they lost their second game in the tournament.  That means the end of the season and no advancing to State.  Awwwwwww, man!

I am grateful for the last few months.  I love watching the games and watching my boy.  But what I'm even more grateful for right now is all that we're done with until next season.

No more finding ways to keep cool and hydrated in the blazing early evening hours.

No more packing snacks and listening to my boys pester me about when they can eat said snacks.

No more trying to keep track of the twins while keeping track of the game.

No more nursing in the car (though in fairness, I haven't had to do that since the regular season).

No more lugging boys, food, water, sunscreen, blankets, pop-up tent, chairs, stroller, camera bag, etc all over the place.

No more daily dealing with freeway drivers who have no idea what cruise control is.

No more listening to crazed parents debating obscure rules.

No more frustration at teenage umpires.

No more frustration at the lack of information for parents trying to figure out when to be where.

It's nice to have some time to just "take it easy" this summer.  (Now let's get this house sold and kick back into crazy-gear:))

Hooray for a great season of baseball with more ups than downs!

What are you thankful for today?

Ageless

I used to get multiple comments about my age and/or my insanity having three boys every single time I went into public.

When I was pregnant with Trooper the comments almost stopped completely.  Shockingly so.

I suppose by that point, I looked like a lost cause.  A reckless and irresponsible teenager, draining the resources of my fellowman, hopelessly beyond reach of "logic" and "reason," and so not worth their time.

Because you can tell everything about a person's heart, intent, abilities, and life just by looking at them. 

Obviously.

Whatever the cause, it was nice to finally have some peace in public. 

It's clear that people are still wondering and even shocked when they see me and the boys, but at least they're quiet about it.

I still get some comments these days.  And most of them are fairly humorous.  Today I got a nice one at the store:

Cashier: "...so, how old ARE you?"

Me: "I'm about to turn ____." (no specifics here, remember?:))

Cashier: "I don't believe that.  You look 18."

Me:  "It's the truth.  You did just have my ID in your hand.  You want to see it again?"

Lady behind me: "No, you definitely look 18."

Me: "Well, thank you! I'm finally getting to the age where I appreciate comments like that."

Lady behind me's friend: "You're 18 and have THREE boys?!?!"

Me: "No, and there's four actually.  The last one is over there.  Goose get back here."

At which point I am ready to leave and she pats me on the shoulder with a look of pity and stutters, lost for words, "that's...that's..."

So I try not to laugh and interject with a smile, "Oh no, it's a great life.  Come on fellas, let's go."

It was pretty funny. 

And- I look 18!  Booyah, baby.

Thankful Sunday

Busy as life is these days, it picked up in intensity on Thursday. 

It's been a full weekend.

And so I am here to say, on this last day of June, that I am super thankful for Sundays and the day of rest God gives us.

I got to sleep in this morning, thanks to my lovely husband.  I got some church stuff done and we all got ready for church.  We spent a rejuvenating three hours with our ward.  Bret brought the boys home while I finished up some work at church.  Trooper took a nap.  I made dinner (tacos, widely praised by my finicky sons) and now we're about to start the bedtime routines.

It's been exactly what I needed.

Thank you for Sundays!!!!

What are you thankful for today?

That's it. It's time to get uppity.

It's hard to live here.

Hard to live in a world with people that I just don't understand.

I try. 

I am an open minded person.  I think and process and ponder before I come to any conclusions; especially about people.

But try as I might, there are just some people who mystify me.

People like this:


I saw this picture this morning.  It makes me sick to my stomach.  It scares me. 

To bring you up to date, Texas was trying to pass a bill last night.  A bill that "would have banned abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy and would have required all clinics to be graded as surgical centers, with all doctors required to have admitting privileges at hospitals."

Apparently, this would have closed most of the abortion clinics in the state.  (Why they would just close instead of bring themselves up to snuff is beyond me, but I don't want them here anyway so what do I care?)  And closed clinics would force women "to resort to dangerous and unsafe measures." (Why they would travel to Mexico or stick a coat hanger where they shouldn't instead of carrying the baby to term or hmmm, not having sex if they're not prepared to have a baby is beyond me, too, but obviously that's my close-minded bigotry and misogyny talking so pay no attention.)

A Texas senator staged a filibuster, trying to keep the vote from taking place.  They had to vote by midnight for this to go through.

She was fairly successful throughout the day.  Getting close to midnight, the other senators managed to stop the filibuster.  Much time was wasted in parliamentary procedure.  As they were taking the vote and creeping closer to midnight, people in the gallery started cheering and shouting.

These people:


The disruption cost precious minutes and prevented the vote.

Bill not voted on, whatever.  Millions of people will continue to be murdered every year regardless of what laws Texas passes.  (Would have been a nice step forward, though!)

What bothers me is that there is so little respect for life that we cheer and applaud the ability to freely commit homicide.

This is the world I must live in. 

It's a tough place to be.

As we say in my family, "huuuuhhhhhhhhhh."

And so I leave you with this:


"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Sticks, snails, and puppy dog tails

Things I am learning to accept as a mother of these little boys:

If it can be said, it must be shouted.  Louder is always better.

"It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye."

Checking pockets before doing laundry will always be an adventure.

"Please give that to me" or "Can you get ____ for me?" is translated as "please throw that at my head."  Always say "please hand that to me."  This does not guarantee it will not be thrown at me, but it does lessen the odds.

The bathroom will always smell...off...I'm sure you can guess why.

Stitches.  Blood, bruises, bonks, falls, bandaids, scrapes, cuts, splinters, black eyes, concussions, and injuries in general.

Silence is silly.  Why be quiet when there are explosion, gunfire, and fighting sound effects to be made?

No.  They can't sit still.  Stop asking.

They will always think it is time to eat, whether we just finished a meal or not.

Nothing should only be used for its intended purpose.  A soccer ball serves just as well as a pretend bomb.  A couch works just as well as a trampoline.

The walls, carpet, furniture, etc. will never look pristine for more than an hour.  (My walls...my poor, poor walls.)

Hitting with a smile on your face is funny.  Hitting with fire in your eyes is a capital offense.

It is not common sense to wash one's hands.

Sleep is for sissies.

And I am a sissy.

Spent

All is fine.  All is well.  All is jim-fine-dandy, or however that phrase goes.

I'm just spent.

I'm trying to look forward to the weekend (because we've got lots of fun planned), but thinking about it makes me tired already.

Because I'm spent.

That's all:)

Because all I can give you is random

Viruses stink and I hate them.

Essential oils are great and I love them.

Little league baseball is too fun for words.  I love the look on those kids' faces when they make an awesome play.

Little league baseball coaches seem to be in one of three camps- 1) teaching the kids the rules (written and unwritten), how to have fun, how to win and lose with grace, and how to appreciate this awesome game.  2) teaching the written rules and the most important thing is to have fun (except it's really to win at all costs).  3) What's baseball?/I don't have time for this.
I am super grateful that this year we finally have a coach from camp 1. 

Sleep is important and I can't seem to get my children to understand that. 

Apparently, you're never too old or too young to fall down the stairs.  I slipped yesterday and fell hard.  Still sore today.  I think this incident was meant to teach me to have more sympathy when my boys get hurt...Or maybe I'm just clumsy.

Baby voices are pretty much the sweetest thing in the world.

Ice cream makes the world go 'round.  When we move, I'm really going to miss the mom and pop shop here that makes wicked good Almond Joy ice cream and hot fudge.  But I'll still have ice cream from the grocery store.  So all is not lost.

Summer vacation is a beautiful thing.

Flies in the house, melted popsicle on the floor I just mopped, and wet towels everywhere are not.

It's five o'clock.  I should probably go make myself lunch...oops.

Take a moment to think about something you're grateful for.  It makes a world of difference:)

Fiddlesticks

It's Thursday AGAIN?!?!

Just gonna warn you: blogging is most likely going to be sporadic over the next...while because we're trying to move this summer and I'm not exactly sure when this is all going to settle.

This means- 

1) I am trying to keep a house in show condition.  While living in it.  With four boys.  No easy feat. At all.

2) I am on the look out for a new abode.  From three hours away.  And unable to put down any offers until this house is under contract.  This is turning out to be a nice exercise for my faith vs. my emotions, balancing tying not to fall in love with anything yet (though the good pickin's are slim) with trusting that we'll get there when we get there and everything will work out fine.  Every few days I just step away from the regularly visited websites and pretend I'm not going to look until we're under contract.

3) I am packing (not so much now) and sorting and cleaning and selling.  All while trying to do all the normal stuff of being mom to these fellas and keep up with Jonz end-of-the-school-year schedule (Field trips, art shows, elaborate science experiments, field day, etc.  And- a bike rodeo?!  Really, PTA?  The minimalist in me says field day is enough).

4) All of the above make me not want to sit down and type out a blog post.  I'll try to post with regularity.  But no promises.

Rambling aside, I am thankful for this wonderful adventure ahead for us.  We're super blessed that the housing market has recovered more than we ever hoped it would.  Crossing our fingers we can even make some money off the sale of this house, when just a few months ago we didn't think we could sell it for what we bought it for.  Hope for the present, hope for the future, and it's a lovely spring to boot. 

But I'll still miss this house, this neighborhood, and having so many awesome people close by.  So many blessings here that I am thankful for.

What are you thankful for today?

"I like ten dollars."

I'm fairly worn out.  So I apologize if this post is anything less than coherent...

This morning the twins and I were laying on the floor by Trooper taking silly videos with my phone.  After I played them all back for them, Goose asked if he could play games on my phone.  I told him the battery was low and I needed to charge it.  He looked sideways at me from where he was laying next to my head and after a slight pause he said, "Mom, I think you need to charge YOUR battery."

Quite right, pal!

I'm so thankful I get to hang out with these awesome guys all day and for how often they make me laugh with their unintended wit and hilarity.

What are you thankful for today?

If you build it, they will come

Long ago in times past I bought super adorable crib bedding for my firstborn.

It was only after he reached the age of climbing out of his crib that I learned- crib bumpers increase the risk of SIDS and can cause injury to an infant unfortunate enough to get tangled up in one while merely trying to sleep.

Live and learn, right.  (And be thankful my boy didn't suffocate in his crib!)

Then I had the twins.  Rolling into the side of the crib or getting stuck with legs or arms in the bars was never an issue with them.

So I never had to think about crib bumpers other than deciding not to buy another one.

..That...orrrr it's possible that's just more details I've blocked out from their infancy...tough to say.

Anyway, enter Trooper- sleep champion and angel (at least at night; naps haven't been predictable for a couple months.  But that's another story.).

Dude has been getting his legs caught in the bars all week.  Nap time. Night time.  It doesn't matter.  He get's stuck every time, at least once but often more.

It's sad to hear that I-want-to-be-asleep-but-something-is-NOT-right! cry.

And so I thought, "What we really need is some sort of mesh thing to keep his legs from getting stuck, but won't risk suffocation..."

I got online tonight to see if someone else had the same issue and the ingenuity to create the product to boot.  Wouldn't you know it- they did!

So I got on here to say:  I am so glad to live in a day and age when there are so many things invented to make our lives more comfortable.  And not just invented, but readily available to Joe Shmoe! 

I have a problem.  I think of a solution.  Someone has already invented, patented, produced, marketed, and distributed what I need. Tomorrow I drive to the store and pick it up.  Pretty awesome if you ask me!

I wish I could spell the sound a "raspberry" makes cuz then I'd write it here

It's been a "I want to eat all the cookies and sleep all day tomorrow" kind of week.

As my when-they-were-three year old twins say with a mournful shake of the head, "I yikey."  Otherwise translated: I don't like it.

But I DO like that my husband will be home in two hours.

I do like that my Troopster is so flippin' adorable practicing his newly discovered "d" and "th" and "sth" sounds.  He's hilarious.

I do like that next week will not be like this week.  Though it could be worse...let's hope it's not.

I do like that I have a bathtub and running water for my boys to utilize so they stop smelling like sweaty teenagers.

I do like that it's almost bedtime.

I do like looking around my house and seeing all the progress that has been made this past week.

And I do like that I can eat cookies.

What are you thankful for today?

Thoughts. Random ones.

Moving makes me seriously consider selling most of our possessions.

I have a hard time not wanting to strangle the teenager who rides by numerous times on his dirt bike and feels the need to rev the engine loudly each time- while my exhausted and sick baby tries unsuccessfully to take a nap.

My Trooper is an angel.

I hate wadded up socks in the laundry.  They're usually the dirtiest ones and require my sticking my hands inside them to get them unwadded so there can be hope of them coming clean in the washer.  With four little boys (three of whom seem to never hear me say, "Put your shoes on before you go outside.") and one yard caretaker and scout camper extraordinaire- that is all I have to say about socks.

Jonz is my right hand man.

Far too often, I feel as though I am living in a den of wild and filthy animals.  Not having to say, "Go back and wash your hands" twelve times a day, receiving a look of surprise as if I've never said it before, would certainly go a long way in helping me not feel that way.

Al is pure enthusiasm.

I like essential oils.  Woke up yesterday with a sore throat, gargled some water with a drop of lemon oil in it- kapow, sore throat gone in ten minutes.

Goose's laugh is my life's comic relief.

As a fairly reasonable woman, I am slightly ashamed at how giddy a haircut and new dress makes me feel.

I am incomplete without Bret.  All Jerry Maguire jokes aside, we get along quite well when he's gone; I can manage hearth, home, and four monkey boys (*toot toot* that's my horn!), but I do better and feel better when Dad's around.  Not in an unhealthy dependence way, but in an I-feel-empty-when-he's-not-here kind of way. What can I say?  I love my eternal companion!

I am proud of my Jonz and his decision to be baptized.  My pure joy and anticipation of that event is somewhat tempered by the weight I suddenly feel, now that he has reached the age of accountability, to make sure I teach him what he needs to know.

Despite all these random things that constantly roll around in my mind and make it hard to think straight, I am thankful for the life they come from.  I am quite blessed in the life I have been given and all that comes from it- good and not-so-good.

What are you thankful for today?

"I find you...ungrateful."

I don't want to post today.

I feel so at war with myself.

Happy.Sad.Excited.Nervous.Tired.Elated.Worried.Peaceful.Indecisive.Determined.Confused...and confused.

What a trip this life is.

Despite my warring emotions, I will make the effort to say that I am thankful for a good teacher for Jonz, a good pediatrician for Trooper, emotional twins and the spice they add to life, a superb husband, baby toys, trampolines, and the smell of grass in the spring.

Speaking of smells, last night I went out to take the trash to the street- the moon was shining brightly and the air smelled like pancakes.  And though it was a little chilly, it was quite pleasant to be outside.

That's all from me.  What are you thankful for today?

Day late, dollar short

Whoops.  Yesterday was Thursday and I didn't post.

As the Canadians say, "Sorry."

And so I pause on this Friday evening and declare my gratitude for ice cream.

Ice cream is made in heaven and gifted to us mortals.

It's good for the soul and I mourn for those who cannot digest dairy products who are unable to enjoy the frozen awesomeness.

Thank you, ice cream, for the many times you have softened life's hard knocks and made the normal wear and tear of daily living more enjoyable.

Tell me your favorite ice cream flavor- go!

It's gr8 to be eight!

This past Saturday our family went to a baptism- beautiful girl, beautiful day.  Many, many wonderful moments were experienced. 

Many, many that I have been pondering on all weekend.

One of which I will share here in the hopes of giving hope to moms of wild kids.

Before the actual baptism, a couple women I do not know spoke to the children about to be baptized.  One spoke on baptism and one spoke on the Holy Ghost.

At some point during the second talk, I glanced over at my soon-to-be-eight year old and for some reason was struck by his behavior.

He was sitting still.

He was looking at the speaker.

He was making no noise.

And it hit me- "We have arrived! Hallelujah!"

Less than six years ago Bret and I were describing that trying to keep track of our oldest boy was like handling triplets.

He was everywhere, in everything, on everything, with noise constantly coming out of his mouth as he required his own percussion beat to his life.

That boy was perpetual motion personified.

The poor kid was constantly in trouble.  "Jonz! Don't do that. Jonz! No. Stop. No. Jonz! You can't have that. No. That's not safe. Jonz! No. Get down. No. Joooooonz."

It was quite the challenge to find a way to say some positive things in between all those no's, pleas, and warnings.

He was a fire.cracker.

Teaching him to behave properly in different circumstances (particularly church) was a behemoth undertaking.  The change was gradual and span the entirety of the past seven years. 

At first Jonz spent entire Sacrament meetings screaming on Bret's lap in a separate classroom.

Then Jonz would spend Sacrament meetings walking back and forth between me and Bret, getting in his brothers' faces, beat boxing, sitting down, standing up, sitting, standing, sitting, standing, and every so often trying to sneak past Dad's knee or escape under the pew.

Then he was pounding on his brothers, beat boxing, standing, sitting, standing, sitting, standing, sitting...

Then he was poking his brothers, giggling quietly, standing, sitting, standing, sitting.

Then he was poking his brothers and swinging his feet into the pew.

Then he was occasionally punching a brother or swinging his feet, stopping quickly with a whispered, "Jonz," accompanied by a "look."

The change was so gradual that suddenly we were in the chapel on Saturday and I realized that I hadn't had to chide him.  Not even once.  We went inside, we sat down, and he behaved magnificently!

We. have. arriiiiiiived!

He still needs reminders sometimes and I suspect he will for years to come.  He still runs everywhere while makes noises like a wounded, rampaging dragon.  He is still an energetic boy through and through.

But he has finally gotten to the point that he can control himself without constant intervention from Bret or me. 

There is hope, fellow moms of wild ones!  The perseverance does pay off.  They are learning, even when it takes ten million reminders.  Take heart! 

It is so much easier to have hope for all my boys now that I have seen it's possible with one of them. 

Hal-le-lu-jah.

I am so proud of the young man my Jonz is becoming.  He was once triplets, trying to break out of one little body and stretching my patience thirty feet past its limit.  Now (though he still can stretch my patience) Jonz is my stalwart helper, an excellent example as an older brother, our goofy comic relief, a pleasant companion, and a joy to watch as he continues to learn and grow.

We're looking forward to our own baptism soon and I am so excited to see my son take that first step back to Heavenly Father.

Growing up is exciting:)

Vacation recovery

I wonder if anyone would be curious to read my first drafts...I'm quite the rambler.  It's quite detailed rambling.

But I always go back and erase it all to be replaced with a sentence or two.

I suppose I'm a gabber at heart but a minimalist when it comes down to it.

And I think my body is in physical and emotional overload.

So today I am thankful for Bret, for my Trooper- the calm amidst the storm- and how the simple feeling of his head on my shoulder when he's sleeping while we rock together can make the world perfect again, for my incredibly enthusiastic boys and the fun we had playing together, for a good van that took us everywhere, and for new opportunities for Bret.

What are you thankful for today?

Vindication!

I am thankful that tough times end.

Usually they don't end as quickly as I would like them to.  And there are many tough things that won't end until I'm dead, but they will end.

I love that simple fact.

I don't like being in the trenches of a cruddy time, but I very much enjoy looking back at it from the end and all that brings- relief, gratitude, reassurance, sometimes pride (haHA, I did it!) and sometimes guilt (could have handled that better...), a little more wisdom, stronger faith, stronger bonds with those who were in it with me, etc. etc. etc.

What are you thankful for today?

Coming out of hibernation

Yesterday when Bret came home, he went out into the backyard.  While the big boys picked up the fallen sticks off the lawn, Bret took all the backyard furniture out of its winter storage.

That simple action seems to have flipped a switch. 

The sun shines brightly. 

The open windows are chasing out the stuffy air. 

The boys are running around with smiles outside instead of jumping off the furniture and yelling at each other like they do inside. 

My spring bulbs are a couple inches high. 

The grass is beginning to green up. 

The trees are starting to bud.

Spring is just around the corner and I am so thankful to be seeing the end of this winter.

Plus, we're taking two short road trips in the coming weeks.  Easter is just a few days away.  General Conference is next weekend.

And my baby is trying to roll over.

It's such a gorgeous time of year! 

What are you thankful for today?

What matters most

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.  Most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise…Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.  The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."  - Jenkins Lloyd Jones

Life is stressful.  And though that's the way of it and I try to hitch up my britches and get back to it, it's so wonderful to get reminders of what truly matters.

Like when Jonz gave me the opportunity to have fun pretending with him.  He dressed like a cowboy and came into the kitchen to "order a rootbeer."  The thrilled look on his face when I surprised him by diving into a story (complete with accent!) that led to an adventure outside gave me both joy and guilt.  He shouldn't have to be so surprised, I should do fun stuff like that with him all the time.  Yet it was still so fun to have that moment with him and see that while he's growing fast, he's still my little boy.

Then there was the time Al and Goose busted out some sweet moves with me while we rocked out to Billy Joel tunes.

Or laughing at ridiculous movie scenes with Bret last night.

And you know I can't post lately without bragging about my Trooper.  I tell you what, this boy is such a timely gift from heaven!  Just a couple days ago I was sitting on the couch with my computer, stressing about some church stuff that needed to get done asap.  Trooper was playing on a blanket and started to get a bit fussy. "Gah," I thought, "nap time."  I absent-mindedly spoke a "hang on juuuust a sec, bud" while I continued my work.  A few minutes later I got up to go find a paper I needed and stopped short when I saw that Trooper was asleep on his blanket.  He'd put himself to sleep and with hardly a peep!  As I looked at his sleeping face, I suddenly felt all the stress leave my body (not just the small stress over a deadline, but ALL the stress of life I was feeling) and be replaced with such a sweet peace.

God has blessed me beyond measure.  He blessed me to join paths with a loving and respectful man that I get to call my husband and he has blessed the two of us with four amazing sons.  They bring me more joy than I ever conceived possible.  Throughout my life, I have been blessed to be surrounded by fantastic people.

I am thankful for these reminders and for the peace they bring amidst the stress and trial of life.  And at the same time, I am thankful for the stress and trial that remind me to "cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you" (Jacob 6:5).

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful?

Things I am thankful for- lately, historically, futuristically, and all or most of the time...ly:

A wireless internet connection (though I'm getting fed up with Comcast messing with my speed to try to get me to pay for an upgrade.  Scammers.).

Praying every night with my husband.

That Grandpa taught me how to make a proper milkshake.

My flippin' awesome camera.

(Somewhat grudgingly) Opportunities to learn forgiveness.

70 degree weather and sunshine.

Little boy voices pretending elaborate stories.

Baby voices, too.  I melt every time Trooper "talks" to me.

Parents.  I hope I'm as cool as my parents someday.

Faith.

Rootbeer.

Bret.

Bret.

And Bret.

And just what are you thankful for today?

Amazed

My little Trooper is nearly three months old.

I find it amazing how easily I slip into a feeling of normalcy with whatever patterns of life I find myself in.

For years I was afraid of having more children.  I always had this feeling, though, that if we did have more- surely, surely God would give me a break and bless me with a peaceful baby.  But...would he really...?  And so that fear stuck around, right through the first couple weeks of Trooper's life. 

He was calm, his cry was not hysterical screaming, and anything he cried about was easily discovered and remedied. 

Yet I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop; waiting for him to behave in the ways I was used to babies behaving.  That exhausting, frustrating, insanity-creating way that I was used to.

I don't know why I was waiting for that shoe fall.  I'd prayed my heart out that Heavenly Father send us a peaceful baby.  I knew asking for such things was petulant.  But I didn't think I could handle another newborn phase like the ones I'd known.  I do know that he would have helped me and the baby through it should come to that...but... 

But oh-so-thankfully, he sent us Trooper.

A calmer, more peaceful, happy presence I have rarely known.  Never have I known it in an infant.  I mean for goodness' sake he's only gotten the hang of smiling in the last month!  And yet, just to be in the same room as him is soothing to the soul. 

I love him.

And I am thankful for the reminders I get that I am so lucky to have him.  Life with him seems normal already.  He's been sick in varying degrees for the last couple weeks.  Even through that he was true to his blog nickname.  But yesterday and today, he's finally up against a symptom he can't handle alone.  My poor boy's throat is congested, and sometimes his sinuses as well.  He just wants to be held (preferably upright so he can breathe a bit easier).  And all this holding, and back-patting, and bouncing, and swaying to try to soothe him throughout the day reminds me of all those months where Bret and I did this constantly.

I am so blessed to be this boy's mom.  I am so thankful for the peaceful existence he's had so far and for the confidence I have that he'll return to that once he's better.  He's a treasure.

What are you thankful for today?


FYI- Much focus has been placed on the subject of Trooper in this blog for many a month.  Don't fret about my other boys, my husband, or any other aspect of life that I have neglected to write about lately.  I love them all as deeply as ever.  It's just that this preoccupation with Trooper is like any new love.  I am smitten (and much of my time is consumed by his needs), and I write what's on my mind most, so obviously he will be my most frequent topic.  Deal;)

Random thoughts by Lindsey

Hello and goodbye, Thursday.  You've been long, you've been tiring, you've been good, you've been bad, you've been a fine example of every aspect of life today.  Let's call it a night, though, shall we?

My baby has the flu. 

It's sad to see his little eyes so red and to hear his "I am so sad, you have no idea!" cry.  He's normally not much of a crier.  He grunts and whines and fusses often, but he rarely cries with fervor anymore now that we understand each other fairly well.  And his sad cry is extremely rare, it's usually a "that sudden noise totally freaked me out" cry or "don't you know I'm starving here?!" cry.  So yeah, kid's been crushing my heartstrings today with his sad crying.

He spent the morning so lethargic that I took him to the doctor just to make sure he didn't have anything more serious than the flu.  He spent the evening wide awake for nearly six hours- the longest awake stretch he's ever had.

Curse the flu.

In other baby news, I may have narrowed down some nickname ideas for the youngest member of our family.  I didn't have any trouble coming up with nicknames for my other boys.  I wonder why it's such a struggle this time...

I wanted to call him The Sunshine Kid seeing as how he's such a source of joy for our family and that's a nickname used for his namesake uncle.  But that's too much to type and a "mouthful" to read so we won't use that one, at least here on the blog. 

I'm thinking we either call him Trooper because he puts up with so much like a champ.  Or Tracer- an obscure reference to a character who shares his name.

Thoughts?

I sure am thankful that my bout with the flu didn't cause any lasting damage to my milk supply.  We had some trouble for a couple days there, but everything righted itself and we're back to normal now.  And the proof is in my 12 pound bundle of joy.

I had fun with my twinners today.  They're finally recognizing the majority of the alphabet (still a few to work on) which is one of my least favorite things to teach, so I'm glad to almost have it behind us.  I'm thinking next week we'll start into actual reading lessons.  Very exciting:)  Al and Goose have been looking so much older to me since the baby was born.  The past few days, though, my perspective seems to have righted itself and I see my little boys again.  I love it.

But there's no getting around the fact that Jonz is growing up quickly.  He's growing taller and fast approaching eight years of age.  My goodness what a great little man he is.

I am so blessed with my four boys.  What a privilege it is to be such a large part of their young lives.

That's all from me.  What are you thankful for today?

Lovey dovey

Today I am thankful for my five valentines!

My baby boy.  He's crazy adorable to be sure.  But he also looks like a goofy, little old man.  Makes me giggle.  I love the way he coos and the way his face relaxes from being so serious in the instant before he smiles.  I love that he's submitted so easily to sleep training and the beautiful results that are coming about because of it.  I love this boy!

My smarmy Goose.  He's growing up too fast. 

My silly Al.  I'll miss these days of him constantly in costume.

My sweet Jonz.  Poor kid has put way too much pressure on his young self, but I love his indomitable spirit.

My slammin' hot husband.  Nobody makes a better valentine.

I love my fellas!

What are you thankful for today?

Not fair!

Well, we couldn't avoid it forever. 

We gots the sickness.  Baby's fine (knock on wood!), twins are fine (Goose was sick but recovered quite fast), Dad's fine.

But Jonz and I aren't doing so hot.

It's a cruel world.  Moms shouldn't get sick.  We're going to have a heckuva time reestablishing routines around here once I get better.  No school for a few days.  Al and Goose have been doing whatever they please all day long.  And the babes spends most of his time in his crib or bouncy seat.  All while Jonz and I lay around with glazed eyes.  A few times a day I shuffle to the kitchen to "prepare" something to eat. 

Despite all the unfairness, there's much to be thankful for:

blankets
orange juice
movies
tylenol
frozen pizza
kids who can take care of a lot of their own needs
a warm home

Isnotsobad.  Send us healthy vibes please!

What are you thankful for today?

Mail (get it?)

Dear Father in Heaven,

     Many people like to remark on how funny it is that I grew up with only brothers and now I'm raising only sons.  I think it's kind of funny myself.  I don't know what my future holds, but it's clear to me that I am meant to walk this life surrounded by fellas.  And for that I say- Thank you!

     Thank you for my dad.  Thank you for sending me where I would be raised in a family headed by someone who would show me what I can expect from you.  It's been said that children, especially daughters, pattern their relationship with you after their relationship with their earthly father.  Thank you for blessing me with a father who did not teach me to be scared of you.   He taught me by word and deed that you love me, that I can trust you, that no matter what I think I know about a situation- you are smarter than me and know better, that if something is important to me it is important to you, and that you will always do absolutely everything you can for me.

     Thank you for my husband.  Thank you for helping me find someone that I can respect and who respects me, someone who sacrifices so much of himself to provide for our family, someone who
made it possible for me to be a mother to four beautiful boys, someone who will be a fantastic example and leader for those boys, someone who forgives, someone who makes me smile even in the midst of hormonally-driven meltdowns, and someone who values my opinion.  And the fact that he's easy on the eyes is a brilliant bonus.

     Thank you for my amazing brothers.  Thank you for my incredible sons.  Thank you for my friends.  Thank you for all those awesome church leaders now and over the years. 

     Thank you for blessing me with a life that has proved to me the infinite value of a righteous man.  Thank you for blessing me with a life where I can be surrounded by the priesthood.  As someone who regularly dreams up the worst case scenario, I feel safe in this unpredictable world.  Thank you for blessing me with a life where I have be taught how to be a leader AND how to follow a righteous lead.  Thank you for blessing me with a life that has showed me the truth and joy that following that righteous lead doesn't mean I lose my identity.

     Guys are great and I'm so thankful to know so many of the top-notch out there.

                                                                                        Love,
                                                                                           Lindsey

Thankful Thursday

Gots lots of writing fodder in my brain.  But I'm going simple.

Today I am thankful for sleep.

Baby went to sleep at 9:30 pm.  I went to sleep at 11:30 pm (I know.  I must be a masochist).

He woke up at- wait for it- 4 am.  Four in the morning!  That's almost SEVEN hours of sleep.

It's a miracle!!

And it gets even better.

He ate and went right back to sleep.  No fuss.  No crying.  Beautiful.

I went back in to my room and found that it was only 4:15.

Fifteen minutes out of bed.  That's it.

He slept again until I woke him up to feed him before taking Jonz to school.  (Can I just say how uncool and counter intuitive it is to wake up a baby in the early hours of the morning?)

After a couple rough nights with the little guy, it was so so so soooo wonderful to have the best night we've had with him. 

Sleep makes all the difference in the world.  And I am so thankful that I can get some good sleep these days.  It's not every night, but there's hope for the future.

Hooray for hope:)

What are you thankful for today?

Drinks. Riiiiiight.

It's Thursday and I'm supposed to post something.  I have been zoning out all day, though.  I feel kind of punchy.  Read with caution.

I can't concentrate enough to actually write anything that seems coherent, let alone string up a thought in my brain to try to type in the first place.

I'm tired.

But not really.

I don't feel like I need to take a nap during the day.  Once I commit to getting out of bed in the morning, I'm not wishing it was bedtime.  So I'm not tired-sleepy.

I certainly feel tired-worn out.  Baby (keep the blog nickname ideas coming; we've got some good ones in the mix) slept for almost five hours straight last night.

After that it wasn't as smooth sailing. 

I'm not complaining!  Heavens no.  Okay, maybe just a tiny bit.  But I've been through much much much much MUCH more trying sleep deprivation with a newborn(s).  This little guy is a heaven-sent angel baby as far as I'm concerned.

But let's be honest.  I'm not as young as I once was.  I may still be in my 20s, but what a difference a few years makes.

I'm tired!

But, fine, I'm not so tired that nothing to be thankful for comes to mind.  Get to the point, Lindsey!

Ginger ale!

Boylan's ginger ale, actually.  Nothing says, "Congratulations for keeping everyone alive for another day!" like an ice cold ginger ale after kids are in bed.  Dead of winter and inversions be...not cold enough to keep me from such activity!  Of course I wasn't going to swear!...

It's been my guilty pleasure, sanity saver, beverage of choice lately.  You know, besides the gallons of water I need to drink for nursing's sake.

You should try it.  It soothes the tired body, enlightens the mind, eases burdened shoulders, and enlivens the senses. 

"It's like a hootenanny in my mouth!"

No, but really.  It's delicious.  And it's even good for you!  Well...let's call it not-as-bad-for-you-as-run-of-the-mill-soda. 

I need to figure out how to buy this stuff by the case.  Or iv bag.  Wait...let's stick with case.  Needles aren't worth it.  Or death for that matter.

So, I think I will eschew (look, my vocabulary is returning:)!!!!!) my normal question and instead ask, "What's your favorite drink lately???"

"Look what I can do!"

I've been out of the hospital for a few weeks now. 

Every day I am making progress.  And most every day I am so happy with a new (ie returned) ability that I call out to Bret, "Look what I can do!"

Things like-

Bending over the sink.
Standing from a chair without needing to push off or pull myself up by anything.
Spinning on one foot to dry my hands off on the kitchen towel while pushing the dishwasher closed with my other foot. (that's a fun one:))
Lifting my feet up while I'm sitting.
Twisting to look at something instead of turning completely around.
Standing for more than ten minutes.
Walk swiftly down the stairs.
Lift things slightly heavier than the baby. (over my head even!)

And that's all I can think of for now.  There's still much progress to be made.  I still look forward to the day I can laugh, cough, or sneeze without pain.  And jump up and down.  And carry laundry baskets downstairs instead of dragging them behind me.  And wrestle with my boys.  And being able to pick up a five year old who fell out of bed so I can put him back.  Sleeping on my side without feeling like my insides are about to fall out.

I am trying to remind myself that time heals all wounds and I will be back to full health eventually.  I might even be able to jump on the trampoline with my boys this summer...but that's probably not really going to happen until neeeext summer...But yes, time heals all wounds. 

And until that time comes, I'm enjoying the "Look what I can do!" moments. 

Like taking almost normal strides to the mailbox and stomping the snow off my boots:)

Who what when where...why

My calendar tells me it's Thursday.

My head tells me it mattereth not.  There is no month.  There is no week.  There is no day.

"There is no spoon."

My life is a series of two to three hour blocks, feeding a baby around the clock.  When not occupied doing that I am guessing the animals my boys are pretending to be, admiring homemade swords, negotiating sharing deals, washing dishes or laundry, nagging about chores and reading time, zoning out in the rocking chair while bouncing a bouncer with my foot and answering all the "Mom! Look at this!" requests, making super simple meals or reheating leftovers, putting my feet up in an effort to facilitate rest and healing for my sliced open torso, and sometimes I manage to shower and change out of my pajamas.  Lately, baby's (someone needs to come up with a good blog nickname...) schedule at night allows for veg time with Bret for a good movie and a fancy soda.

So, please forgive me for almost not realizing that things such as Thursdays still exist.

And since it's Thursday I'll tell you that I am thankful for all the service given to me and mine over the past few weeks.  The time and effort expended, the meals, the cleaning fairies who have visited twice!, the visits (though we're blocking future visits until flu season is over), the diapers, the gifts, the well-wishes, and the prayers. 

Surrounded by angels, I tell you what.  And I'm married to the best one.

And now...for the most part I'm on my own.  No more husband home during the day.  No more visits (did I mention I'm quarantine...ing my boys?).  No more meals brought in.  Wish me luck.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

I am failing at these Thankful Thursday postings lately. 

I really should be in bed, taking advantage of four sleeping children (cha-ching! jackpot!), right now.

But then I remembered it's Thursday and so I've come here to make an attempt at posting lest you think I am not grateful.

Because I AM grateful.

Abundantly so!  These past weeks have been chock full of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the bazillion blessings and tender mercies he's poured on me.

But I have not the capability of writing out a coherent post about all that awesomeness.  Nor the stamina to remain awake and attempt it.

And so my Thankful Thursday post today is this:

I am thankful for perspective. 

I wish I could have it always.  I wish having it made life easier.  I wish I weren't so worn out.

But I love that I have it sometimes.  I love that it takes the edge off.  And I love that I'm worn out doing something so valuable with my life.

Considering my current state, I'd say that's some pretty deep musings:)

What are you thankful for today???