"On December five and twenty..."

They say that writing is good for the soul.

Journaling is therapeutic and helps a person to work through their emotions. Writing out thoughts and seeing them on paper helps a mind to see things more clearly and better understand thoughts, emotions, reactions, etc.

So why is it that any time I've tried to sit down and write out my thoughts in the last months, that I don't like what comes out? What comes out doesn't feel like me, doesn't feel true to my core, doesn't feel productive or edifying...and you know me (or maybe you don't), if it's not edifying, I am not a big fan.

I refuse to believe that I am what I have written and deleted in the past months.

Cuz I'm not.

Yet I sit down to write and feel like I just start going in circles. It's insanely frustrating.

Every once in a while, something good and clarifying comes out of my efforts. But for the most part...circles, circles, circles.

Which may account for my lack of activity here.

Missed me?

No?

Well, who needs you!

I'm going somewhere different this Thankful Thursday.

I'm going to pat myself on the back and talk about me, me, me, and how awesome I am.

Historically, I haven't taken compliments well. But I think I'm doing a swell job improving being able to recognize truth in compliments and accept them gratefully.

So today I'm going to run right past tooting my own horn, and blast some long, loud notes. It may seem self-centered, but since I never do this and I'm only really repeating things other people have told me- it's alright, right?

And who can't use a good pep talk in the mirror every so often?

I am ridiculously optimistic. Pollyanna ain't got nothin' on me.
I am 50 times more charitable and Christian than I was 15 years ago, even five years ago. My first reactions may not always be thus, but usually I am on to more charitable thoughts in mere moments.
I am one of the strongest women I know. No joke.
I may not have a ton of friends, but with the ones I make I am true blue. And so are they!
I am a good mom. I love my boys and I work hard to establish and maintain boundaries that will help them grow up awesome and happy.
I am a stellar wife.
I am wise and intelligent. Not as quick-witted as I wish, but who likes a triple threat anyway?
I make really cute kids.
I have super awesome taste in the arts.

Yeah. That's enough horn blasting for now, I think.

What about you?

What about yourself are you thankful for?

Thankful Thursday

It's Thursday!

And a strange one to be sure.

There's a bunch of blankety-blank going on in life and by all accounts I should be quite unhappy, have high blood pressure, and feel completely worn out.

Life stinks, I'm tired, my kids are sick (and I don't feel so hot myself), etc. etc. etc.

It's quite clear that I am being sustained. For the first time in a long time I feel like I have sufficient faith and can "shoulder the burden." (knock on wood;))

Every time the doubts and fears thoughts start- they stop and I think, "no...it'll be okay. Everything will be okay."

This doesn't take away all the frustration or worry or whatever. But wow does it make a world of difference in my attitude.

I'm thankful for faith. For hope. For marriage.

Seriously, how cool is marriage?! A relationship of, among so many other things, balance. Give and take, push and pull, support and lean. I am so thankful to be on the teeter-totter with Bret.

And I'm also very thankful that I can listen to prophets speak in just two days. And for the technology that allows me to listen in the comfort of my home with my loud boys:)

Life is good.

Life is hard.

But life is really, really good:)

What are you thankful for today?

P.S. There was a moment this afternoon. Al came up to me and said, "Mommy, I need to sit with someone. Can I sit with you?" Without looking at him or breaking stride in my current task I said, "Just let me finish this and I'll sit with you." Al looks up with sad eyes and says, "But Moooooom...why?" (yes it was whiny, but can you blame the kid?) I looked back at him and thought, "Ummm, well...I don't have a good answer for that."

So I picked him up and we sat for a while and I relished his warmth and thought how lucky I am to have this stage of life and that my boys still like to sit with me.

And to think, I almost missed the moment! Learn from me- slow down and sit with your kids:)

And then it was Friday

Yesterday was monumental.

Well...in word.

In every other way it was a normal day.

'round these here parts, we like to celebrate monthiversaries.

Usually they roll past with one of us thinking, "oh hey, happy monthiversary!"

Sometimes we'll actually remember to say it to each other:)

But this month?

This month we have been married for 100 months.

That's right- our one hundredth monthiversary!

Seeing as we'll never live to our 100th anniversary, I thought the day should be marked.

So, I hung up some spring-colored streamers and a flag banner.

Though we were unable to celebrate beyond that, it added a celebratory feel to an otherwise normal day.

And it was fun to see the look on Bret's surprised and happy face when he walked in the door:)

I am thankful for my husband and for the 100 months we have been husband and wife.

I am looking forward to the next hundred, and eternity after that!

What are you thankful for today?

This...

I am going to brag.

Because I can.

And because it's Valentine's Day.

And because I can:)

This...

...is what love looks like.

That's right, baby! We've cornered the market on love, love, love.

Alright, so that's an exaggeration. We know lots of people who love each other like we do. But this IS what love looks like.

We think we're funny.

We're nice to each other.
Psssst!
In case you missed it- I just revealed the secret to a happy marriage.
Right there.
You're welcome:)
Here it is again- Be nice to each other.
That's all it takes.
Seriously.
It's not always easy.
But it's never hard.

And let's not forget this!

Yep, this is what love looks like:

Love, by any other name,...is called Bret and Lindsey.

Happy Valentine's Day to my one and only. I love you, Bret!

This post was inspired by my love for my hubba-hubba-hubster. And a TOFW link party! Join in the fun!

Totally amazing photos by Creativ.

Sharing is good for the soul.

My children may not truly understand that or believe it yet, but I tell them anyway:) And every so often I remember to do it myself.

This weekend I was blessed to attend the wedding of a high school friend. I had a hard time coming up with a gift for her and her new husband. I finally decided on a two part gift, one part being a copy of the Family Proclamation. I wavered back and forth on whether or not to give something so special to me when the likelihood of it being discarded without a second glance was high. Then Chocolate on my Cranium posted what the weekly blog hop subjects would be in the up-coming Family Celebration. This week's would be "Sharing the Proclamation." Mere days after the wedding.

Ummm, can you say, "Lindsey- SHARE IT!" any louder?

I got the heavenly hint and included it in the gift with a little explanation in the card about why it was helpful and special to me and how I thought it could be helpful and special to them.

I packed the gift with everything else and went on my merry way to the next state over.

The wedding took place in a beautiful Baptist church. The pastor gave them a little marriage advice before pronouncing them man and wife. I LOVED what he said. I remember thinking, "I wonder if someone is writing this down for them? This is great advice!" Then I realized I'd read everything he was saying before, it was so familiar. And it hit me- I have exactly the same advice written down for them already and it's wrapped up in my car! This pastor is teaching principles in the Proclamation."

I know they still may throw the copy of the Proclamation away without reading it, or even after reading it. But sitting there in that ceremony, having my testimony strengthened about what I knew and the importance of what I was sharing was priceless.

It's also wonderful to know that other religions are teaching truths about the family.

So, go share that Proclamation! It honestly is good for the soul:)

Thankful Thursday

As always, there is much to be thankful for today.

My super awesome husband is the subject of most of my gratitude today. He is going to take the household wheel for THREE days. School, soccer game, meals, church, everything. All so I can go enjoy a weekend with friends in the next state over, one of whom is getting married! I was planning on just leaving super early on Saturday, make the wedding, go to church Sunday morning and then come home. He told me I should leave Friday morning instead so I can spend more time with the best friend a girl could ask for-Molly. Isn't he amazing? Yes. Yes he is:)

I'm grateful for the awesome co-op we're a part of. The kids are great, the moms are great, today's lessons were great.

I'm thankful my hair actually did what I asked it to today.

I'm grateful for my sweet sweet boys who cope quite well with these occasional crazy-busy days.

I'm thankful for Thankful Thursday.

I'm grateful for my scriptures. They're amazing and no matter how much I read them I always learn something new.

I'm thankful for showers. Oh how thankful I am that I have a the means available to get squeaky clean whenever I find the time (which I wish I could find more often).

I'm grateful to know that the constant whining stage won't last forever. Sure Jonz still whines, but with much consistency from Mom and Dad he's much better about it. Al and Goose however have entered the perpetual whiny stage. This too shall pass, this too shall pass...

I'm thankful for food. And I think it's time to satiate my hunger and get back to my to-do list so maybe I'll be able to have enough time to sleep tonight.

What are you thankful for today?

The D word

No, not that D word.

The other one that Bret and I are not allowed to speak- divorce.

Okay, so we can say it, but we decided long before we were married that divorce would never be an option for us. Bret tries to be gallant and tell me that if he ever turns into an axe murderer that I should leave him. Harhar:/ In the unlikely event that THAT ever happens, I think I would have bigger things to worry about. And divorce would still not be an option.

That's how important I know marriage is. Here is what else I think-

Marriage is not just about mutual support and companionship. It's about building a family; an eternal family. Should something as awesome and special as an eternal family be easy to get??
This is a quote I use often, but only because it fits so often. Thomas Paine wrote, "What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods..."

Marriage is a proving ground. Can we stick through it, the thick AND the thin, and become more like Christ? Capable of having an eternal family? Marriage is a fantastic place to learn, practice, and live Christlike qualities like forgiveness, humility, patience, altruism, LOVE, generosity, service, sacrifice, etc. Why throw that opportunity away on silly little things like, "We fell out of love" or "I need to find out who I am" (side note: you'll do better finding yourself if you stay married and work on your relationship with your spouse!). Or even huge things like, "He/she cheated on me." Working through trials to marriage makes us into better, stronger souls and gives an even greater understanding of Christ's atonement.

Sure, there are times when divorce is necessary. I'm not going to recommend to anyone that they stay in a marriage where they're being beaten nightly. That said, marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. I've seen a couple of (and if I've seen them in my little world it means there are probably lots more) instances where a person has tried to justify their divorce to me when it is glaringly obvious that those two should not have married in the first place. And in both instances, I believe they could have worked things out, even as bad as it was.

I have also seen a couple instances where in the eyes of the world the wife would have had every right to leave her husband without any guilt or regret. But she didn't. And both marriages became something enviable, beautiful, and awesome. To think of what they would have missed out on is sad, to say the least. How joyful to know that they didn't:)

Don't even get me started on what divorce does to children.

But back to the good stuff:) What does taking the divorce option out do for a marriage?

It gives it MAJOR security!
I don't have to worry that Bret's going to skip out on me when the going gets rough just because it would be easier to pay child support and alimony than live with me and three wild monkeys-I-mean-boys. Bret doesn't have to worry that I'm going to throw in the towel one day and leave for a simpler-instant-gratification kind of life. When a couple knows that they're going to have to work through the rough times it takes a huge stress out of each struggle. At the very least you know there will be light at the end of the tunnel, not questions about whether or not your marriage will survive on top of everything else.

It increases love, love, love!
How can you not love someone who is going to stick by you even when you've not been the nicest person in the world? After you've made it through a trench, how can you not turn around and be so grateful to your spouse for the support? For being your faithful companion? The potential for love to grow between husband and wife is boundless! Don't limit it with the option of divorce!

Some may say (and have), "Well that's all fine for you. You and Bret are fantastic together." To which I say, "Yes we are;) But it's not because we're just lucky that way. We found some awesome keys to success that we use to our advantage." Divorce has never and will never be an option. That has been so freeing in our marriage. Which sounds slightly counter-intuitive, but it seems like the best things are.

We also take this passage of The Family: A Proclamation to the World very seriously:

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other..."

A solemn responsibility. Not "a passing fancy" or "when it's convenient." Solemn. Responsibility.

This is serious business.

But I tell you what. When a couple takes marriage seriously, puts in the effort to think more of the other than themselves: how the fantastic-ness flows! The love abounds like nothing I could ever have imagined. Marriage. Is. Awesome.

(We are not good self portrait takers which turned to our advantage here as we had to keep trying for the right shot:))

So I say, "Just say NO to divorce."

But I think my dad says it best when he simply says, "If the grass looks greener on the other side...water your grass."

An overturned vote

A federal judge overturned the gay marriage ban that CA voted for back in 2008.

My feelings on marriage are quite transparent. I am disturbed enough about this decision that I think it best not to go into the topic of gay marriage right now.

What I would like to get into is the reaction by some of those who support gay marriage. True colors shine through.

From those who are shouting for equality and fair treatment for all came hate speech, boycotts, destruction of property, disrespect for private property rules, etc. toward my church.

And what do I read today under the headline announcing the overturned ban, but a link to an AP piece about the Mormon church regretting the judge's decision, which was just another excuse to remind everyone of the money and effort church members put into passing Prop 8. "Hey guys, look what these bigots did!" Where is this love and fair treatment you speak of?? I confess my disappointment with the hypocrisy.

Of course the church regrets it, but so do many other people and institutions. Why are you singling us out? Why are you keeping up the hate? Practice what you preach, please, and recognize that the beliefs of the members of the LDS Church are just as personal as yours and deserving, at the very least, of civility.

Perhaps this will backfire in your face and more people will see that and be drawn to the Church and it's good work instead of spraying painting "bigot" on their LDS neighbor's house.

But I'd be content with you just stopping trying to pick fights all the time.

Thankful Thursday

Last night I knelt down next to my bed, beside my husband, and listened while he offered a prayer. As I bowed my head (or more aptly put, laid my head on the bed out of tiredness...) and before he started praying, I was suddenly struck by how special it was and how good it felt. And then I thought, "I LOVE being married to Bret." I know I often talk about Bret in my Thankful Thursday posts. Sorry. But not really:)

I am so thankful that I married a man who would pray with me. Virtually every night and most mornings that we've been married we've prayed together, just the two of us. I know that it's made the struggles of life more bearable and the joys sweeter.

Often we can't remember whose turn it is to pray. Morning prayers on weekends rarely happen. Sometimes we just want to go to bed and not pause for a prayer. Sickness, different schedules, and heavily loaded plates of responsibility all make it seem inconvenient at times. But it is always worth it. Whenever we've won over the temptation to not pray we've never looked back and said, "Man, I sure wish we hadn't wasted that time praying!"

Prayer is awesome. I'm grateful of the knowledge I have that my prayers are heard. I'm grateful that I can pray by myself, with my family, and with my husband. I'm grateful we made the goal to pray as a couple when we were first married. It's really paid off:)

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

It's 10:30 and there's still much to be done before I can go to sleep. So, once again, here is what I am thankful for today in list form:)

-Bret. Seriously, husbands do not come any better than Bret. How did I get so lucky?
-The twins' cheeks. They're so soft I can't help but touch them and kiss them every opportunity I get. Who would have thought that two sets of two year old cheeks could make me so happy??
-That lightening flash of understanding when the spirit puts that last puzzle piece into place on that thing you've been pondering for a long time and you finally understand. Except sometimes, as in my case today, that understanding leads to more questions. Funny ol' world.
-Jonzy's constant questions at bedtime while he tries to stall the inevitable:)
-Mom. She's the best, hands down.
-Sisters (in-law-though-we-may-as-well-be-blood-relate- cuz-they're-awesomeness-knows-no-bounds-and-I-want-to-be-related-to-that;)).
-Warm showers.
-Pillows.
-Bret. Cuz he's worth mentioning twice.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday-Friday

*sigh* I did it again. I was getting so good at not missing Thankful Thursday and now I've missed two in three weeks. My apologies, oh faithful five readers. I'm sure you've waited with baited breath for me to post:)

I was recently blessed to attend the sealing of my "little" brother to a wonderful woman. Temple marriages are awesome to be present for, and family marriages even more so. You may remember, as mentioned in this post, I embarrass myself on such occasions. I inherited a weepy gene from my grandfather. After the events of last Tuesday, I am convinced that not only have I inherited the gene, but that it has since mutated in an alarming fashion. After the blubbering episode ignited by the spiritual happenings at my oldest brother's sealing, I was sure that had I just not tried to take steadying breaths, I could have avoided making such embarrassing sobbing noises. Considering what happened on Tuesday, I'm certain there's nothing I can do to avoid embarrassing myself.

Let me paint for you the picture. Temples are beautiful. The peaceful presence of the spirit is immensely strong in the temple. The sealing of loved ones is one of the most joyous events to ever witness, knowing that your family is being tied together for eternity. It's an amazing experience for everyone involved! Such things elicit strong emotions. The stronger the emotion, the harder I cry and the harder it is and the longer it takes to stop. I tried the entire time to keep from crying! But can you blame a weepy girl when she's in the temple, taking part in that glorious spirit, seeing her brother glow even though she can only see the side of his face, seeing his brand new wife and her brand new sister glowing just as bright, and she's surrounded by loved ones?? And when things culminate at the end and she gets to hug the newly sealed couple...can you really blame her for crying?

Still, I wish I didn't have to make embarrassing noises...Have you ever seen Sense & Sensibility, the one with Emma Thompson?? Hang on, let me see if the clip I want is on youtube...


Yep, that's the kind of noises I was making in the quiet halls of the temple. After the first one jumped out of my throat as I exited the room I remembered the whole no-steadying-breaths thing, clamped my mouth shut, and tried taking small breaths through my nose. To my surprise, the noises didn't stop! I put one hand over my mouth and nose, then both hands, pressing harder and harder, trying to quiet the noises and calm down. Nothing helped. It's like the sobs were jumping straight through my neck. When I realized that there was nothing I could do to stop the noises, I suddenly was struck by how funny the situation was. This realization did not help as now I was fighting the noises combined with giggles. It would have been downright hilarious had I not been in the temple, ruining the reverent atmosphere.

All I can say now is, I'm glad it's over, but if I had to endure the embarrassment again in order to be there at such a wonderful sealing- I would.

I am so thankful for temples. I am so grateful that my brother and his wife (did I mention how ridiculously giddy I am to have another sister?!?) chose to be sealed in the temple. I am endlessly thankful that I got to be there. I'm so thankful to be related to so many wonderful people. I'm thankful for my husband who made it such a special trip. And above all, I'm thankful for such a loving Heavenly Father and His incredible Plan of Happiness.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

This week sure has gotten away from me. I can't believe it's already Thursday.

Today is an extra special Thursday, too.

I am so grateful for Bret! I'm so grateful for the memories I have with Bret. This morning I heard that song on the radio that I believe is titled "Two is better than one" and is by ...Ihaveabsolutelynoideawhoit'sby who sings many of the songs I hear:) One line is "I remember what you wore on our first date." I heard that and suddenly pictured Bret on our very first date. That led to remembering our first date. As far as first dates go (or any date goes, for that matter), it was pretty amazing. We have so many fun memories together.

We have some not so fun memories together, too, that are just as meaningful to me. Like the time I was going to brush two year old Jonz' teeth a few days after the twins and I were home from the hospital. In his toddler rage at bedtime approaching, Jonzy hit me in my recently-operated-on stomach. I walked out of the bathroom, announced to those in the living room that someone else would need to take over teeth brushing. Then I went to Jonzy's room, sat on the rocking chair in the dark, and proceeded to have a hormone/pain driven-"I can't be a mom to three kids" sob session. From two+ years out this sounds a bit pathetic, I know. But unless you've lived through the total exhaustion and insane hormonal roller coaster that often comes with newborns, I hope you'll just take my word for it that it wasn't pathetic. Anyway, back to the point. I didn't know that Bret had followed me to the room until he was kneeling in front of me. I don't remember what he said, but I remember that he was there and that he held me and talked me through one of the darkest times in my memory.

How blessed I am to have a husband who is there in good times and bad.

Happy birthday, Bret! I love you and all the wonderful experiences and memories you've given me.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

I'm sure many you are tired of reading about how thankful I am for my family. But family is such a huge aspect of life, and mine is so awesome, that you'll just have to take it when I gush.

I am so thankful for my family. Last week I watched our wedding video and it brought out all these big lovey feelings:) And it's lasted for days! I have an aunt who passed away three years ago. In the video, most of the shots with her in it you can only see her from behind, or she's bent over; rarely do you see all of her because she and another aunt were taking care of my dress and making sure it was safe from the snow outside. The first shot you see of her is the top of her head behind me taking care of my train. Made me cry just seeing the top of her head. Because for me, it represented all the behind the scenes things she did for us all; and I miss her.

I can't watch the wedding video without my love for Bret growing bigger. I sure do love my husband!

And every time I watch it I can't believe how I got so lucky to be born into such an amazing family.

Now my younger brother is engaged and I can't wait to be in the temple with everyone when he gets married and gives me another sister:)

Families are wonderful. I will love mine forever and ever.

What are you thankful for today?

Fathers

Yesterday was Father's Day. I had such a happy and full day with my family that I couldn't find time to get on here and mark the day with a blog post. So here I am, a day late. But I figure that any day is a good day to blog about fathers.

It seems to me that the world really focuses on women. Is motherhood the crowning achievement for women or the last resort of the unqualified and stupid? Should a woman be afforded all the same opportunities as a man? Should she work? Should she stay home? Can she vote? Does she have the right to an abortion? Such topics seem to saturate the media these days. Here's a fun quote:

"The status of women is one of the questions of the day. Socially and politically it forces itself upon the attention of the world. Some … refuse to concede that woman is entitled to the enjoyment of any rights other than … the whims, fancies or justice … men may choose to grant her. The reasons which they cannot meet with argument they decry and ridicule; an old refuge for those opposed to correct principles which they are unable to controvert. Others … not only recognize that woman’s status should be improved, but are so radical in their extreme theories that they would set her in antagonism to man, assume for her a separate and opposing existence; and to show how entirely independent she should be [they] would make her adopt the more reprehensible phases of character which men present, and which should be shunned or improved by them instead of being copied by women. These are two extremes, and between them is the 'golden mean.'"

That was written in 1872, folks. We've been at this for over 100 years and we still can't find the "golden mean."

So, what about men? In trying so hard to gain equality for women and motherhood, we've pushed right pass the importance of men and fatherhood. Parenting is a team effort and to have the best chance of success you can't leave the father on the bench.

I love this article by President Faust, a leader in the LDS church. He talks in it about marriage and the need for children to have both a mother AND a father. And most especially, how each family member needs to respect the roles and special capabilities that other family members have to offer.

Fathers are priceless when it comes to raising children. Children are more likely to learn empathy when they have an involved father. Children with involved fathers are less at risk/less likely to participate in things like drug use, alcohol abuse, premarital sex, become school drop-outs, or have gender identity issues. And those are just things off the top of my head that I remember from delving into such studies back in my college days. There are so many facets in children's lives that are improved or, in the case of detrimental aspects, the risk significantly lowered when the father is involved!

When it comes to fathers, I think I have been spoiled...in a good way:) My whole life I have been surrounded by prime examples of what men should be and how they should act. My family tree seems to be teeming with excellent men. And while I have only known a handful of them in my life, the results of good teaching in generations long past have obviously carried down through the ages. I feel linked to those fathers I have not known in this life and yet have had an impact on me because their examples have carried on in children, grandchildren, and beyond.

It has been said that children, especially daughters, will see their Heavenly Father much like they do their earthly father. A child who grows up with an abusive father sees God as unfeeling, unloving, and someone to fear. I have been lucky enough to have a wonderful father. Because of his influence, I known that while my Heavenly Father loves me, that he wants me to come back to him, that he knows what is best for me, and that I can trust him. I have not been raised to fear men and so I feel more able to have an open relationship with the Father who knows and loves me best. Thank you, Dad:)

How can I post about fathers without mentioning the father of my boys? I'm married to Mr. Awesome himself. A man who changes diapers without complaint, gets down on the floor to wrestle, washes the dishes, vacuums, and works hard to put a roof over our heads and provide for our needs and many of our wants. I might lament over the fact that he won't do bath time for the boys, but this man also cleans the bathroom (a chore I despise) and cleans it well! Yes, I'm as lucky as they come:) Our sons could ask for a better father, but they're not going to find one. I hope that as they grow up, my children realize the treasure that we have in the patriarch of our family.

And so, Happy Father's Day to all you amazing fathers out there. You may not get the thanks as often as moms do (and we don't get it often either;)), but your efforts do not go unrewarded and they are certainly not fruitless. Keep up the amazing work!

Did I really just read that?

I just read an online Newsweek article about the blushing bride being a thing of the past. More and more women are opting for racy dresses, raunchy bachelorette parties, and bridal photos in lingerie or nothing at all instead of their wedding dress. Supposedly this is how women are showing how independent they are in these times.

Are you kidding me?!

How is it that throwing your sexuality in every one's faces means you're an independent woman?

This article said women are tired of acting feminine and proper. Excuse me, but when did feminine and proper become something to be acted, and something to be disdained?

Thankfully, the author of this article at least sited some concerns that sociologists have about such ridiculousness. "They see a problem with making exhibitionism the centerpiece of the wedding ceremony: it might crowd out other aspects of the marriage. You're highlighting what should just be a piece of the relationship." And I might add, making yourself look more like a hormonal teenager with no inhibition than a powerful independent woman.

No wonder marriage is counting for less and less these days, if this is how the majority treats such an occasion. How in the world did we become such a selfish group so fast?

There are just so many things wrong with this that I don't know what to write anymore. I've been shocked into writer's block.

Baring my soul in the name of record-keeping

Before I get started, I think we all ought to be on the same page. What follows is an account of something very special to me and which I don’t have the ability to give justice. That said, I hope you won’t think less of what I have to say just because I can’t say it well. This is something I've wanted to share for years. Now is as good a time as any and I can’t let my inadequacies keep me from it. Just know that it’s special and if you don’t think so, don’t tell me:)

There. Same page.

Way back in August of 2004, my oldest brother was sealed to his wife in an LDS Temple. It was an amazing ceremony and my first opportunity of being present at the sealing of a family member.

After the sealing, I had the opportunity to hug my brother. Dan hugged me tight and the tears I was already battling because of the happy occasion were pushed out. Then, just as we were about to let go of each other, Dan gave me an extra tight squeeze and something incredible happened. For the tiniest and briefest of moments Heavenly Father gave me a gift. I saw, or perhaps felt or sensed would be the better word, my family together in the eternities. With that came the feeling of the most exquisite joy I have ever felt in my life. It was as if Heavenly Father was showing me how happy he wants us to be, how happy we can be, and how my family had taken a step closer to that goal that day with my brother’s sealing. I like to imagine that I felt similar joy as I witnessed sealings taking place among my ancestors and parents before I was born and that perhaps this was just a lifting of the veil so I could experience what I had before.

As quickly as it began, it was over. Why? Because it was too much joy for my mortal body to handle.

Yep, I lost it.

Big time.

In general, I am not a pretty crier. I claim membership with the blotchy faced, runny nosed, strange-noise-emitting group of criers. This experience did nothing but make my crying ways worse. In addition to the spiritual things I learned that day, I also learned that you shouldn't try to take a deep, steadying breath to make yourself stop crying. You’ll only succeed in embarrassing yourself further. Don’t try to get a hold of yourself until your body has naturally calmed down. Better yet, just try to get away from people so as to avoid the embarrassment as much as possible. Don’t hang around just because your brother is getting married. Leave, compose, and then come back. You’ll save yourself a lot of regret.

So, this Thankful Thursday I am grateful to my brother for marrying in the temple which created the opportunity for higher learning. I’m grateful for a sister in law who didn't let the fact that I put an unexplained blubbering damper of a moment on the most important part of her wedding day keep her from ever talking to me again and instead has become a most cherished sister. I am thankful for such a wonderful family. And I am thankful to my heavenly Father for pouring out such a wondrous blessing and giving me a taste of what I am working toward. This experience has sustained me many times over the years.

And thanks to you for “hearing” me out and letting me share:) Feel free to join me on the Thankful Thursday Train!

Thankful Thursday

Just a couple weeks ago, I told myself that I was going to blog more often. Every time I make a goal fate combines its forces against me. One of my boys was uber sick and that threw life into an upheaval. Now he's almost back to normal and life is getting to a normal level of craziness. Maybe I'll be able to blog more often...maybe:)

This being Thursday and all, I figure I should pause to be grateful. This fateful Thursday I am thankful for my husband. I get to go to the temple tonight and he's going to wrangle the kids (during the difficult hours of dinner and bedtime, no less!) whilst I'm gone. Granted, I'll be returning the favor so he can go tomorrow night. But as I sit here stressing about A not taking his nap and trying to get the house ready to host my brother-in-law tonight and getting dinner ready on time, a night in the peace and wonderfulness at the temple made possible by my fantastic husband makes me smile.

Not only does he willingly and happily take care of things at home so I can have a night out every so often, but he washes dishes, changes diapers, vacuums, and watches Pride and Prejudice with me. Oh, and that business of going to work every day, dealing with the world, and making it possible for me to be home with our boys. I pretty much married the best guy ever!

Huh?

While running an errand today I spotted a license plate cover that said-

"Give Blood- Get Married"

Whaaaaaaaaat?

If they're trying to send a message, I don't get it. Are they making fun of marriage? Are they all for it? Are they just trying to squish two things they are passionate about on one license plate cover? Are they equating marriage with giving blood? Why? How?! Maybe they're saying marriage sucks the life out of a person, which I whole-heartedly disagree with. Or maybe they're saying that people should give blood and get married; two good things in life, two ways to give of yourself to other people.

Anyone have any clarification to offer me?

R-e-s-p-e-c-t

The media would have me believe that women in today's society have automatically have the right to be respected by their husbands, whether they've earned it or not. The media would also have me believe that husbands must earn their respect from their wives, over and over and over again.

I really hope that this is just a big mistake on the part of the television/movie/magazine/radio/internet/etc. industries. And yet, I fear that they're not far off the mark.

Take, for example, a radio ad that I heard shortly before Christmas. A bunch of women are lamenting over the fact that their husbands are so hard to shop for and how dare they be that way. One woman chimes in that she got a something-or-other (I don't even remember what the ad was for) and at the very least he could return it, but he wasn't going to want to because it was just so perfect of a gift. Another woman said she wished she could just return her husband to which the group replied, "Yeah, girl!" and "Where is that receipt?!" "ahahahahaha." Are you kidding me?!?! Luckily Bret and the boys were downstairs because I gave the radio what for. Your husband is hard to shop for so that makes him an ignoramus and you should divorce him?!?! Sheesh.

Here are some Marriage 101 tips: Don't belittle your husband in front of your friends. Don't waste time being upset about stupid things like "I can't think of what to get you for Christmas, you dolt." Don't joke about divorce. Don't even think about divorce, for that matter.

Respect goes both ways in a marriage, ladies. If you want your husband to respect you, you might try showing him a bit of it.

I'm preaching to the choir, I know. But it makes me feel better just to get it out there.