Another book review

Three blogs that I read posted reviews for a new book called, The Gift of Giving Life: Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth.  You may have seen it and you might have even read it.

It's a book written by a handful of LDS women and they include lots of scripture and general authority quotes.  As a woman who still struggles to be at peace with the way I have given birth to my children, I was very intrigued by this book and looking forward to learning more deeply about this pinnacle of creative works that I have been immensely blessed to take part in.  I thought it would help me to look past the c-sections and instead focus on the gift that it was for my children and me in the process of giving life.

And so I set out to get my hands on this book.  The library didn't have it, but Barnes and Noble came through for me with a much better price than the GoGL website and so I bit the bullet and bought a book that I'd never read (a rarity for me, despite my intense love for literature).

It arrived the next week on my doorstep.

Two weeks later I finally finished it.  That's very out of character for me.  I LOVE to read a good book.  Once I start a book, I usually devour it in a matter of hours or days.  Weeks is unheard of.

My take on this book- it needs a new title.  Something like, The Gift of Natural Childbirth.

I was quite disappointed really.  The great majority of the book was natural (and usually home) birth stories from women of various backgrounds and situations.

They made mention of the fact that birth is different for everyone and one can receive divine direction that c-sections, epidurals, inductions, etc are the best method to get one's child safely here.  But the message I heard loud and clear was "natural childbirth is the right way and anyone who doesn't give birth drug-free and at home is doing it wrong and denying themselves intense spiritual experience."

Believe you me I would love nothing better than to suffer through those hours of pain the natural high that follows the arrival of your brand new addition.  Especially when I think of trying to nurse a crying infant while my midsection is on fire attempting to heal from surgery and debating how much pain I can tolerate before I take another pill so I pass as little amount of drugs to my helpless child as possible.  Or when I think of lying on the table being sewn back together while my little baby is taken away to be poked and prodded by strangers while still trying to figure out "what in the fweak just happened?!?!"

 But hey, that's what I get for doing it wrong. 

So no help from the book on that count.  I know the intent was not to make me feel this way and I don't in any way believe the authors would wish me to feel this way.  I suppose it's my own fault for setting my expectations the way I did.

I was also put off by the amount of speculation in the book.  I see no benefit from trying to figure out the responsibilities of Heavenly Mother, the complete character of Eve, or what goes on beyond the veil in the premortal realm.  There are things we just don't need to know right now and more than enough for us to come to understand in this life without digging into the mysteries of God that do not pertain to our salvation.  In fact, that can be extremely dangerous for some.

Tangent time!  It bothers me that so many people are sad that the LDS church is so male-centered.  IT'S NOT!  Nowhere else in this world do I see an organization or way of thinking that gives so much honor, responsibility, power, and glory to women.  There's no "the men are more important than the women" or "the men are in charge here so the women must be in charge in the premortal world."  There IS this-

Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. -1 Corinthians 11:11

I am not oppressed.  I am not under the thumb of any man. And I am not brainwashed.
That's all I have to say about that:)

The book wasn't all disappointing.  There were good things I took away from it.  The very title reminded me that giving life is a priceless gift.  Here are some more highlights:

"There was something holy around me, protecting me, something beyond the ordinary, a feeling, a spirit about being a part of God's creation of a child."
"...his angels attend birth everywhere."
The means by which mortal life is created are divinely appointed; not only conception, but the spiritual and physical processes of pregnancy and birth as well.
"There were times both in pregnancy and during labor that I felt I couldn't go on.  But after feeling the sorrow and the pain, I was able to recognize the joy."
"I have felt the strength of the adversary's anger, opposition, and terrorizing efforts intensifying toward me."
"I was created with the ability to bring a child from one side of the veil to the other."
"The simple act of experiencing pain for the sake of another brought me closer to the Savior..."
"There was one entirely other person that would derive lasting and eternal benefit from my suffering."

So that's that.  I don't recommend it really.  It did serve to give me some great reminders that pregnancy is miraculous, a tremendous gift to the child and mother, something Heavenly Father cares very much about, and something Satan hates. If you need reminders like that, don't worry about an entire book.  Let's have a chat instead:)

Disclaimer: I think natural childbirth is wonderfully amazing and hope no one takes my dislike for all the stories as anything more than the personal disappointment I feel in not being able to do that.
I also hope no one takes this less-than-glowing review as a personal affront.  After reading so many wholly positive reviews on this book, I thought another voice could be useful for women like me out there who may read here.  I actually have much stronger opinions about it, but couldn't write them without feeling like someone would definitely find them hurtful (which they aren't intended to be) so I tried to simplify my thoughts.  This long post doesn't make it seem that way though, does it?;)

But there you go.  I reviewed a book.

Bookish

I read.

A lot.

In spurts.

The last book I finished two weeks ago. 

And wouldn't you know it, for the first time in about four years, I read something in a book that I feel is blog-worthy.  Considering the amount of books I read in four years, this is pretty rare.  But sometimes, you can come across such meaningful things in a work of fiction.

Here's the excerpt:

"Part of faith is not giving up hope for a better world," she said finally.
"But life is such a bitter gift!"
"At the moment, it seems like it.  This is a very dark passage you are in.  But it would be a mistake to see that passage as your whole life.  There is nothing in this world more deceptive than darkness.  You think you live in a void, but actually there are colors and textures and beauty all around you."
....."The price we pay for immortality is to know both this darkness and the light and to choose between them. You are a particularly radiant person.  You must not let the darkness win."
-The Last Waltz by G.G. Vandagriff


I love it.

What do you think?

Family Fun

Yesterday we got to spend the whole day together as a family.

It was great!

It was also tiring. Verrrrrry tiring.

First we got to go to a local Triple A baseball game courtesy of Jeffrey's online school. The game was for and devoted to school kids from around the state.

That means there were kids e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.

Who doesn't love an end of the school year field trip??

Bret and I continually marveled at the lack of adult supervision for all these kids though. When I was in elementary school I remember being assigned to a group of 3-6 kids for every parent volunteer. In the area around us I saw two parents. In the area around us I saw at least 50 kids. Two adults to 50 kids!?!? One of those adults disappeared an hour into the game. The other seemed to be asleep.

Not cool! I would freak out if one of my kids was so poorly looked after in such a crowd.

Other than wild kids, the game was good. The weather was fairly cooperative, too. And Jonzy was in heaven. That boy has been dying to go to a baseball game since last September. When we walked in, all the kids were given a Lunchables (something I've never allowed the boys to have). Clutching his lunchables and walking through the stadium, Jonzy was heard to exclaim with a smile, "This is the best day EVER!"

Following the game, we crashed at home for a bit before getting dressed up for family pictures. Let me tell you, my guys are four handsome fellas!

Taking pictures in our family is always an adventure. Last time, Goose threw up all over the place and we had to wash off in the nearby river. This time, Al threw up as we got ready (thankfully before he was dressed). Hooray for tradition, eh?

I don't really like taking family pics with young kids. It's exhausting. Trying to get three boys to look at the camera and smile at the same time (really smile, not those fake cheeser grins) is nigh unto impossible. I feel awkward and unnatural. Kids get easily distracted. I worry that we won't get a single usable pose.

BUT, there are things I love about family pictures. I loooove choosing everyone's wardrobe and trying out different colors and dressing my family up all coordinatedly cute. And our photographer is seriously a miracle worker who always manages to get some great shots. He's one talented guy. I love choosing what shots to print once the proofs are ready.

Basically, I love the prep work and the end results but not the actually task. Is that weird?

After pictures, we came home and ate yummy leftover burgers from the bbq we had yesterday. Easy dinner to put out AND clean up:) I read more of a gripping book I started this weekend in the sunset while the boys jumped on the trampoline. Then it was off to bed for the boys and movie night for me and Bret.

I love spending a weekday with my family!

My favorite childhood books

I can't remember when I started reading for hours at a time. I really can't remember when I discovered my drive to read at all.

It seems in those dusty corners of my memories that there was a time I didn't really like to read. Can that really be or is my mind playing tricks on me?...

Whatever the case, I do recall many books that I loved as a child.

Like this one, "What Do People Do All Day?" by Richard Scarry-

I still get lost in all those pictures.

Of course there was also, "Black Beauty," by Anna Sewell and, "Where the Sidewalk Ends," by Shel Silverstein.

But I've always been more of a series lover.

My brothers had a bunch of Encyclopedia Brown and Hardy Boys books that I would pilfer. I can't tell you how excited I was when I found the Nancy Drew books in my middle school library. Girl detective stories!

Then there's the Boxcar Children books, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, the Ramona books, and these-


I loved reading the Great Brain books and I don't know why. I am big on justice; abnormally so. The bad guy must always get his comeuppance. And T.D. never really got his. He'd weasel other kids out of their money or possessions. Sometimes he'd get in trouble, but even when he did he always had a way of passing on the guilt to someone else. Punk. And yet, I really enjoy those books.

And I think it would be a sin to blog about favorite childhood books without mentioning the Little House on the Prairie books.

I like this little jot down memory lane. I think I'll have to do it again sometime. Thanks, Chocolate on my Cranium, for the Wordfull Wednesday idea I was tempted enough to get in on!

Fankful Friday

Welcome to the second installment of Fankful Friday, the post where I make up for Thankful Thursday on Friday.

Yesterday was a rough day. I felt pretty punk all morning and Jonz and Al were both lay-on-the-couch sick. I've been potty training (a task that leaves me wanting to scream and hit things) Al and Goose with extremely little success. Jonz and Al got back their energy after lunch while I had a growing headache. By three o'clock I was on my knees on my couch, curled up in a ball, and pressing my head into the cushions because that was the only thing that eased the pain and kept me from throwing up. Migraine fun. For the next couple hours the boys came up to me periodically to show me an arm, face, leg, etc. that they'd covered in stickers while I tried to persuade them to stay in the playroom.

Around five I started to feel the fog lifting and sat on the couch with a headache hangover for the next hour or so. Bret brought dinner home (because he is AWESOME) and by 6:35 I felt good enough to jump in the shower and try to get to Book Club at 7.

Which is where the gratitude comes in. I am thankful for the book club. It was a very refreshing end to a rough day. It's always a welcome change of scenery and fun to spend an hour or two discussing books with great women in the neighborhood.

What are you fankful for today?

The Green Corduroy Book

Disclaimer: I am not getting paid to post this. That should tell you how awesome it is.

I am now in possession of something so cute that I have to share it with everyone. It's called the Green Corduroy Book. Click on the words "green corduroy book" to head to the website and see the pictures and get more info.

It's the sweetest little book that's purpose is to have one place to write down the funny, silly, crazy things your kids say. It's got cute illustrations on every page and a handful of fully illustrated pages of funny things the author's kids said.

I've already made a few entries in mine. My latest entry comes from J saying something funny yesterday as we prepared to walk to church. J has his own Book of Mormon which I handed him to carry as we walked. He stopped in our driveway and opened his book to "read" a bit while he waited for the rest of us to catch up. A breeze flipped a few pages over and J said excitedly, "Look, Mom! The wind is reading!"

It's so fun to have this awesome book to collect the funny things my kids say. Now I can turn to one place to find or remember something funny instead of trying to search through my blog or journal for a particular story.

Get one yourself and start creating a family treasure before your kids grow up!

A "don't read this book" recommendation

Alright. I did it. I read the Twilight series. And I have very mixed feelings about it. I really liked the story; it's an amazing story. But I think that this series strays too far into the realm of romance novels to be recommended.

No, there's no sex. I should say, there's no detailed sex; it's strongly implied. And yet the detail that the author goes into with the kissing and stroking is just too much. The first book was bordering on laughable with all the swooning and breath-taking, but as the story went on it just got too steamy. Call me a prude for thinking that reading about a kiss is too much, but there's no denying there was too much lust packed into those kisses. Just as looking at porn is dangerous for men (and women), reading about physical stuff is dangerous for women (and men).

It's a huge bummer because it really is a beautiful love story and the author wrote nothing that I don't feel for my own husband. But reading about those things is not a good idea, especially for these droves of married women who are now fantasizing about and lusting after a fictional character. That's definitely not healthy and it's very disappointing.

Nor is it a good idea for all these young girls who are joining in on the fantasizing. Books like this mess with expectations and reality in a bad way. It's hard to see all these girls out there who are "dying to marry someone just like Edward." It's even harder when they feel like that and they're also seeing their married mother do the same thing.

And so, I'm not joining the throng of Edward-lovers. If you want to read a love story, I recommend Pride and Prejudice. Twilight is too close to a romance novel.