Friday, October 28, 2011
Seeing the lateness of the hour and thinking of my new-found goal to get to bed at a reasonable hour like the responsible adult I hope to be, I decided I didn't want to blog last night.
Turns out, I don't want to today either.
I'm bucking the trend! Breaking out of the mold! Marching to the beat of my own drum!
...well, you could argue that it's not a trend...and that the mold is of my own making...so if I'm drumming now, who was drumming before?...
Arguments aside, here we are with no Thankful Thursday post this week.
Apologies all around.
Why don't you share what your thankful for with me instead???:)
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
It's been a while, hasn't it. I'm sorry I dropped this ball for a month. I got busy with the Family Celebration and lost momentum on this project. Let's build it back up, eh?:)
I don't understand why we shun work so much. I mean, have you ever finished a task and thought, "Sure wish I'd stared at the wall instead of doing that!"????
Work is satisfying. And yet, I think it will always be a struggle for me to forgo extra sleep in the morning or reading a book in favor of working. Wish it wasn't, but it's probably better for me to have to struggle to overcome that tendency.
Back to the issue at hand.
I'm a simple person.
That's simple, not stupid.
I have trouble concentrating on more than one thing at a time. Yet, I can hold my own at multi-tasking because it's fairly easy to move from one thing to the next and back when concentration is an issue. The more simple my surroundings, the easier of a time I have with things. Working forces my mind to be simpler. I have to focus on the task at hand; which makes it much more difficult to delve into depressing patterns of thought. Brilliant solution:)
As President Benson aptly said, "Work is our blessing, not our doom."
Or as President Hinckley's father said, "Forget yourself and go to work."
It really works! ("a-ha, a-ha! Who's next?" Twenty thousand points if you guess the movie correctly.)
Monday, October 24, 2011
When it comes to new glasses, I have a hard time not seeing the glass as half empty. Nothing says, "Man, your eyes are awful," like sharp, clear vision.
Don't get me wrong, I am super excited to have these new glasses. I've had the same ones since Jonzy was about six months old. I am very happy to have entered the world of current eye wear. They're cute, they're trendy, and I'm extremely grateful that I have these glasses to help me see.
When I was young and would get new glasses or contacts, I would always be so excited at the new details that I could see. I was always surprised at how much I hadn't realized I wasn't seeing before my newer, stronger prescription. It was fun opening that door, stepping into the sunlight, and seeing the world through new eyes (sunlight makes all the difference:)).
Then I became a teenager and it wasn't so much fun anymore. I realized that every time I went to the optometrist, I needed a stronger prescription. My eyes have been deteriorating for decades now and it's an emotional hurdle for me.
I hate not being able to see. I envy people who can. I hate not being able to read if I'm wearing contacts, so I rarely wear them. I hate that drastic blur around the edges of my glasses. I hate the headaches I get as my brain gets used to a new way of seeing, a new border around the discernible vision, and the muscles of my face adjust to the new accessory. I hate fumbling for my glasses in the dark of night when someone needs me. I hate squinting at the clock to see what time it is when I wake up in the middle of the night.
I hate knowing that I'm making a big deal out of something that is not only inconsequential, but fixable.
I'm not blind. I can see. I can behold the beauty of my surroundings that are the source of tender mercies. Well, not the source, but you know what I mean. I can see color and shape and the sparkle in my boys' eyes. We can afford to get glasses so that I can see these things more clearly. Lots of other people have broken eyes, too, so I don't have to be a social outcast;) And beyond that, I know that my eyes will be perfect one day.
I think I will always fight off some sadness and jealousy when I get a stronger prescription or when I notice the difference between my eyes and someone else's. And I will always wonder if I'm seeing the world differently than someone with normal, healthy, and strong eyes.
But it sure is nice to know that it won't always be like this. Plus, the change wasn't as drastic this time. Turns out, my eyes didn't really weaken any more so much as they changed shaped and gave me some more astigmatism. Maybe a break from the deterioration is on the horizon!
Now, I think I better go get something for this headache;)
P.S. You should hop over to We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ. There's lots of awesomeness going on with the Book of Mormon Forum this month.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Motherhood to me is found and defined in the moments.
The moments that keep me going, the moments that make me feel like a mole facing a hammer in that classic arcade game, the moments that give me glimpses of the future, the moments that catapult me into the depths of fear of endless failure, the moments that feel like part of heaven.
Motherhood is moments.
A little hand slipping into mine while we walk from the bedroom to the kitchen, just because he wants to be close to me.
The dinner reaction. From, "Yuck! I hate that, Mom!" to "We're having THAT for dinner?! I LOVE you, Mom!"
Realizing that my but-he's-only-six! year old is already wanting to not be around me and that moment of euphoria when I realize all is not lost and I still have some time as he's skipping next to me because we're off to do something, just the two of us, and he's so happy about it.
Moments between a whiny "whyyyyyyyyyy?" and my response.
Big smiles and bright eyes.
Painful kisses. Who knew a three year old roughly grabbing my head and turning it to an uncomfortable angle so he could plant a soft one on my cheek could be so awesome?
"I luhz oo, Mom"s.
Smells. The you-need-a-bath! smells, the I-don't-even-want-to-know-what's-causing-that-smell-but-have-to-hunt-it-down-to-stop-it-in-case-it's-an-environmental-hazard smells, the hugging-a-clean-boy-in-freshly-laundered-clothes smells, the you-just-brought-me-a-dandelion-and-a-huuuuge-smile smells, etc. etc.
Embarrassing, "yes...that's my child" moments and proud "That's my boy!" moments.
Oodles and buckets and floods of witnessing firsts.
Motherhood moments keep me on my toes and I love them. All of them. They're getting me closer to the end goal of eternal life. Even the moment when Al comes down the stairs to me instead of the ten steps from his room to the bathroom resulting in him throwing up on the stairs. Cleaning up more vomit must surely increase my endure to the end levels and getting me that much closer to the pearly gates;) And the kicker in that moment: though we're constantly coaching the kids to run to the bathroom if they feel they're going to lose it, his innate reaction to seek out Mom for comfort and help when something goes awry superseded all else. That's love:)
That's motherhood. And I love it!
This post is part of MamaBlogga's October Group Writing Project, Motherhood to me...Join us!
P.S. Have you had any moments you'd like to share?
Mommy moments, when two boys are sharin'
Mommy moments, mem'ries of tempers flaring.
I'll never forget the moment he shoved that girl on
the hay ride
The way that her mom muttered an’ glared while I tried to
hide my pride
Mommy moments, mem'ries we’ve been sharin’
Mommy moments, when brothers are caring
I can't erase the sharpie marks
These mommy moments are filled with love
[Clarification: the little girl initiated the shoving and Jonzy wasn't going to put up with it. And yes, it really did rain in our family room.]
The sleep that I’ve lost with you throwing up for hours
The smile on your sweet little face when you
pick me flowers
(The way that we cheered whenever you made it
on time to the bathroom)
The time that you plugged the sink and it rained
all over the family room.
(The endless band-aids, the games that we played, the fun
A life that is full of trying to cope with whatever
Mommy moments filled with love
Thursday, October 13, 2011
I was super blessed to fly into Denver last weekend and attend the Time Out for Women event there. I met up with two of my most favorite aunts and we went together. It was amazing:) If Time Out comes to a city near you, GO! Two days of awesomeness, girl time, books, music, a totally cute free bag, all at a super low price?!? GO:)
I loved Kelly Ogden's debut TOFW presentation so much that I bought his book!
Since getting back, the boys and I are not quite seeing eye to eye. Mostly, it's my fault for my lack of patience. But they've also been off the wall hyper (despite the treats ban that's being enforced this week). It's been a hard week for all of us. I have much to be thankful for today!
One being, that this is our week off of co-op between sessions. I don't think I could have handled it today.
Book club is tonight. Woot woot!:)
The weekend is nearly upon us.
Tomorrow we're going on another fall field trip.
Al woke me up just before five this morning and I felt awful. I've been battling a cold and it was definitely winning at five am. I turned off my alarm and slept in and felt so much better getting up. First time in a long time that a few hours of sleep has actually had its intended result:)
I ate dinner from Five Guys last night. Best burgers ever. My taste buds are still happy.
I'm called Mommy by three amazing boys:)
What are you thankful for today?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Some locals are already complaining about skipping autumn and getting dumped into winter.
I say, "What's not to love about this weather???"
Out come the long sleeves and hoodies. Chilis, soups, and comfort foods. Laughing with your boys as you breathe visible air. That feeling of breathing in cold air through your nose. Umbrellas. Boots. Yellows, oranges, reds, and browns every where. And two words: crunchy. leaves. :)
I LOVE this weather!
But...as I drove on the freeway through the rain this morning, I was beginning to not like this weather so much. My tires couldn't keep their traction. We weren't sliding anywhere, but the car was jerking along as we would continually lose traction and (oh-so-thankfully!) regain it. The windshield wipers were going. Many a car around me seemed to have forgotten their headlights and I kept getting surprised at cars in blind spots or behind me that crept up through the rain without warning. Just as I was getting ready to curse the weather, I looked in the baby-view mirror (yes, I still have it even though I have no babies. I've gotten used to seeing my kids in it and I don't like not having it.) beneath our rearview mirror. The sight was wonderful and right then, there was a moment...
Goose, bundled up in a cute little hoodie, was hugging a white and blue plush cow. His mouth was slightly open and in an unconscious half smile. His eyes were so bright with wonder, awe, and happiness. There he was, cozy and warm in the car with his cow and completely enthralled with the sight of the rain and wipers going on the windshield.
I love moments like that. And I love that my boys and I can help each other in our love of the seasons (or anything). I can help them discover and nurture that love and they remind me often of the simpler things and the bigger picture and why I loved them in the first place.
I love autumn! I am so thankful for it and this chilly change:)
What are you thankful for today?
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Here's a General Conference dealio from Diapers and Divinity.
Oh how I loved GC this October. I always love it, but the boys did so much better at not being crazy loud this time so Bret and I could catch a lot more. Very enjoyable:)
Here's the scoop, according to Lindsey:
General Conference Highlights, October 2011
1. Who were your three favorite speakers?
Just three?! Then I'm going to go with Elder Scott, Elder Ardern, and President Monson...and Elder Bennett...and Elder Curtis...and Sister Dalton...and President Uchtdorf...I can't pick three!
2. Which talk spoke to you the most?
Definitely Elder Ardern's.
3. What was your favorite Hymn and why did it move you?
Praise to the Man. Because I always love that one, singing with thousands of people always gets me, and I was on a spiritual high from Elder Ardern's talk.
4. Which speaker was the best dressed? (Come on, we can have a little fun.)
I forgot to pay attention to this...so I have no idea. I really liked Sis. Dalton's hair...
5. Were there any topics that you felt like were repeated often? Any conference “themes”?
Scriptures and repentance seemed to be hit on lots.
6. Share a few of your favorite quotes from any of the talks (paraphrasing is fine).
I'll definitely paraphrase (i.e. misquote with a general gist).
"Compared to God, man is nothing. And yet we are everything to God." -President Uchtdorf
"Poor use of time is a cousin of idleness." -Elder Ardern
"Motherhood is what God gave you time for." Elder Anderson
"Our code of conduct is definitive. It is not negotiable." -Pres. Monson
"In a world where everything is changing, His constancy is something on which we can rely." - Pres. Monson
"I know you can do this." Elder Richardson
"You can learn the language of the Spirit." -Elder Cornish
"The Atonement covers all the unfairness of life." -Elder Cook
"I love you. I pray for you. I ask you to remember me in your prayers." -Pres. Monson
7. Name something(s) that made you smile or laugh during conference.
The way everyone gasped (including me!) when the second Provo Temple was announced.
8. Was there any evidence that your children paid attention?
A bit and with prompting. They'd recognize some faces and give some simple topic answers like "scriptures" and "Jesus."
9. What doctrine did you learn as you listened to the choir(s) sing?
A reaffirmation. And timely, too. Every so often I get so bogged down with sadness knowing that there are innocent little children suffering horrible things all over the world, many at the hands of those who are supposed to be their protectors. I can hardly bear to think about them. It hurts so much that I pour my heart out to Heavenly Father to be with them and to help me not think about it so I can function. The choir sang this verse in "Consider the Lilies."
Consider the sweet tender children who must suffer on this earth. The pains of all of them he carried from the day of his birth.
It spoke tons of peace to me. He's got them covered:)
10. Did the music enhance your General Conference experience? How?
It always does. Music and I are tight. Music speaks to me on a much deeper spiritual level than anything else.
11. What are some of your post-conference goals?
The only one I really want to share now is to not slip back into normal habits only to kick myself for not progressing as much as I wanted to when Conference rolls around again in April. I don't want to forget. I want to progress and meet the goals I've set.
Those are my highlights. Will you share yours, too?