Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Just for fun

So, this video came to my attention today. It had me crying, it's so funny!

First of all, it's just plain hilarious.

But it is all the more hilarious to me because I totally get that!

Any time my emotions get above, below, kitty-corner, sidestepped, or diagonal to normal- I'm crying or trying really hard not to while my eyes fill up. If I start to get excited about something, I do my best to not be excited because I don't want to embarrass myself with tears. I'm a killjoy like that. Or if someone tells me something really sad, I look like a heartless jerk who doesn't care at all while really I'm having this internal struggle in order to avoid a mess of emotion.

Dumb tears.

So while I don't have the guts to share a video like this with the world (thank heavens none exist of me!), THANK YOU, Kristin Bell, for sharing and letting me know there are other weepy nuts like me out there.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Thankful Thursday

Today is Thursday.

I should be blogging about something I'm grateful for in my life.

This is the third time I've sat down at my computer today with the intent of writing a blog post.

But after checking my email and facebook, I head to blogger, stare at the computer for two seconds, and shut it.

I have zip, nada, zilch desire to post today.

I'm in the mood to sit by myself in a quiet room and read, read, read, with zero interruptions.

For hours.

Or days:)

So here's what I'm thankful for-

I am thankful for my little blog. I am thankful that I don't have a massive amount of rabid readers who would send me hate mail for not posting on time, especially on a weekly scheduled topic that is expected*. On the flip side, I am thankful for my few faithful IRL (in real life) readers who, though they don't comment here often, will sometimes mention something I wrote here in face to face conversation. That makes me happy and gives me some more motivation to blog.

*or hassle me for dragging my feet on my Do Not Despair posts. I have not forgotten. On the contrary, I really want to finish. I've hit writer's brick wall though, so I don't think now is the proper time...or perhaps I've lost the right spirit for it. Whatever the case, when time or my own perspective or both is right again, I will continue those posts. Promise:)

Thank you, little blog.

Thank you, faithful readers. You rock my world;)

What are you thankful for today?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Embracing my femininity

I'm taking part in TOFW's shoe party! (and doubling it up for Thankful Thursday...tricksy, tricksy)

And I can't believe I've come this far.

A shoe party.


I know.

I've been surrounded by men and boys for most of my life.

Growing up there was my dad, my mom, my three brothers, and me.

Now there's even less female influence in the house than I'm used to. There's my husband, my three sons...and me.


The lone woman in the house.

The only regular example of what women are and should be that my young sons have.

No pressure, Linds.

Growing up in such an environment, I wasn't what you'd call a girly-girl. Sure I've always loved being female and I definitely wouldn't call myself a tomboy. But I wasn't going to go out of my way to do girly things if it made me too different from my brothers.

My poor mother tried to lay that foundation when I was younger, but by the time I hit my teen years I think I had inadvertently taken a sledge hammer to that feminine foundation.

Why do my hair every day before school when I could sleep 20 more minutes and throw it in a ponytail?

Why paint my face with make-up that I'd have to worry if it still looked alright countless times throughout the day?

Why wear bright colors I'd have to wash all the time when blues, greens, etc. all would let me get at least two wears before needing a wash?

Why wear a dress and restrict my movement and comfort when I could wear jeans and be free to run, jump, and slouch on the couch?

Why buy that cute pair of shoes that would go with just a few outfits when I could buy a pair of tennis shoes to wear with everything?

That's where I was for many a year. Enjoying my womanhood, but not taking full advantage of it and thinking myself extremely practical.

One dress, two skirts (denim and khaki), one pair of dress shoes, mascara, eyeliner, a blow-dryer, one hair brush, and a plethora of hair elastics were all I had that showed there was any major difference between me and the rest of the fellas in the house.

These are the kind of shoes I'd dress up in for everyday things, when tennis shoes were just too casual:

Don't laugh. I still like them:)

And then, the changes started to happen a couple years ago.

Maybe it's because I began to subconsciously realized that, like I mentioned earlier, I am the one with biggest influence on how my boys see women. Among other things, I want them to understand that girls like to be pretty and elegant, and that we can also run around and be goofy.

Maybe it's because I have been getting less outside estrogen influence and subconsciously try to give myself my own fix by doing something girly.

Maybe it's because my boys are old enough to not need my c.o.n.s.t.a.n.t. attention and I can indulge in these things.

Maybe it's a combination of all that and more...

It started with a skirt.

Mom gifted me a skirt that flared a bit at the bottom (see? She didn't give up:)) and suddenly I was enjoying twirling on Sundays as much as a five year old girl.

Then, I actually learned how to apply eyeshadow after a Mary Kay party.

The biggest changes have come since last January. And the catalyst- a pair of shoes.

Boots, that is. These boots.
Are they practical? No! Are they hard to walk in? Yes! Do they hurt my feet if I wear them too long? YES! But. I. LOVE. them! I will be very sad when they wear out. I wear them until my feet hurt or I have to be moving around more quickly than they'll let me.

I can't get over the giddyness that I feel when I wear these boots. I feel so feminine when I wear them. I can't describe it better than that. It's a feeling I used to scoff at, but that I've come to love.

This last year I also discovered that my hair will curl and there are lots of ways to make it shiny, smooth, etc.

Now there's a curling iron, flat iron, various hair products, eyeshadows, blushes, lip glosses (I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll ever embrace lipstick;)), etc. to keep my blow dryer company.

My closet contains amounts of skirts, dresses, and pink and purple tops that teenage Lindsey would never have thought possible. I even own a couple pairs of tights now (deep breaths. don't go fainting on me now).

And my go to/everyday shoes?

Yes, folks. There's pink on those shoes.

I don't do myself up every single day. I still enjoy my ponytails and jeans and tshirts. But I find there are many days when I want to wear a dress or a skirt, just because. I like the "alone" time of styling my hair and "painting my face" while my boys make machine gun noises and growl at each other while running between the rooms of the house. And if I can find an excuse to wear a skirt and those boots, I'll take it:)

I like the way I feel so feminine these days.

I am so thankful to be a woman. I am so thankful for the things I've learned about being female in these last few years. Not only for the physical and material aspects of "pretty" that I can indulge in. But for the spiritual aspects as well. I love femininity!

I love being a woman!


Thursday, January 12, 2012

Thankful Thursday

Happy Thursday everyone!

My posts have been way too wordy lately. So here's an easy read for you-

Today I am thankful for my kitchen and refrigerator. A sanitary room, right in the warmth and comfort of my home, where I can put together warm meals for my family in under 30 minutes. No stoking fires or starting dinner immediately upon finishing washing and drying the lunch dishes or trying to keep kids away from hot stoves. I am super grateful for my comfortable, convenient kitchen with an abundance of food and the ability to store it without spoiling quickly.

What are you thankful for today?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A soft rant

Yes, a rant. Yes, ranting on such things is childish. Yes, I am usually bigger than this.
Yes, I would appreciate it if you gave me a break...I need one every now and again;)

This is a random* post combining annoyances I have on three fronts: the facebook drive-by (e.g. Status-"Just got the best news of my life!!!:):):)<3<3<3" Comment- "Yay!" Comment- That's great! What is it?" Comment- "You deserve good news. Love ya, gurl!" Comment- "Oooo, I wanna know! txt me."), those who dish out advice opposite of what they live, and drama queens.

Funny thing is, if a person frequently does one of these they're 98%** more likely to also be frequent offenders on all three counts.

It is for interactions with these kinds of people that I sometimes wish I had a little pocket book with a page for each offender. On each page I would have written my five favorite direct quotes (with dates and references for context in case of disagreement) from said individual. Then I could use it for my own prideful and impossible purposes of showing them the error of their ways and leading the way back to being people of rational thought and action.

For example. The next time someone tries to pull me into the latest episode of the soap opera that is their life, I can whip out my book, flip to their page, and say-
"Remember when you said back in September, 'Don't bring your drama to me. High school ended years ago and I'm done being around people who bring me down with their immaturity?' That's what I'm thinking right now. Just sos ya know."

Oooorrrrr....next time I see or hear someone say or do something unkind to their significant other or child: Out comes the book, page found, and-
"Remember when you said, 'Cherish the ones you love, you never know when they'll be gone?'"

Putting together and using such a book would probably just get me punched in the face. I know I wouldn't like someone to use my own words like that in my less-than-ideal life situations.

But still...the idea won't die.

Hmm, maybe I should make a book for myself of things I say but don't always live up to...might save me from punching well meaning people in the face:)

*Yes, this post was inspired by a facebook drive-by of wise life-advice posted by a drama queen. All three in one place just screamed, "Rant on blogger- go!"
**Lindsey is in no way responsible for incorrect statistics made up in her mind on the fly based solely upon her personal observations and conversation with like-minded family and friends...even though she's most likely right (ah! there's that pride again...).

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Thankful Thursday- Dear Parents,

Step up.

The line was crossed a LONG time ago.

Before the world succeeds in leading you any further away from it, turn around and RUN back to that line. Don't pause; hurl yourself back across that line for the sake of your children (and by extension- you).

The line I'm talking about? Parent-led vs. child-led.

You know, letting the child tell or show their parents when they're ready for something instead of the parents deciding.

It actually sounds great- no bully parents forcing a child to do something he/she is not ready for.

And I agree. Parents should not be bullies and should not expect more from their children than what they are developmentally ready for.

But part of a parent's job is to determine when their child IS ready. If you follow the child's lead- they don't get what they're ready for or what they need, they get what they want.

For example, a toddler is full of emotion; emotion they don't understand. A parent could follow their child's lead and conclude that when their child screams it's because they're young and coddle them some more.

OR- as the parent they can teach their child not to scream and show by example or explanation (depending on the comprehension level of the child), what is being felt, how to control it, and what the best way to act is in such situations.

Or even simpler, how about this: bedtime.

Nuff said;)

It seems that the much of the growing generation is being raised by child-led parents. The effects are already seen.

Let's compare some examples.

Example 1- I just read a story about a mom and her six year old son. This six year old boy recently told his mom that he wanted to kiss boys. She wrote all about how she wouldn't damage his feelings by telling him that such things were sinful and he would rot in hell if he did. So many gay people are treated that way and they knew how they felt when they were that young. Can we imagine saying such hurtful things to a six year old?!?! Peace, love, tolerance people!...She also mentioned in passing how her son idolize a gay character on the popular show Glee.
..............................To which I say,

Sister. Aside from the fact that you let your six.year.old watch a show chock full of teen sex and all the filthiness and content he is exposed to from that (which he is developmentally NOT able to fully comprehend and understand thereby confusing the cheese and crackers right out of him and screwing up his future relationship potential)- aside from that, think for a minute what you're NOT teaching your son. You're not teaching him right from wrong, you're not teaching him how to think critically and analyze the thoughts that come through his mind, you're not teaching him that he can trust you to lead him down the most successful paths, you're not teaching him boundaries! (And I hope, but doubt, that parents know the value of boundaries...I think I'll post about that sometime, too.)

Example 2- Here I will share a personal example where I admit something and ask that you don't mock or think less of me because of this temptation I deal with.

I am a kleptomaniac. In the loosest sense of the word and only in thought, not in deed. As a child if I saw something I wanted, or that simply could be taken without notice, I would want to take it for my own. BUT, my parents have always taught and set the example that stealing is wrong and I am not to do it. I can honestly only think of one time in my young life where I did actually steal something. And when guilt finally got the best of me and I fessed up to my mom, she didn't shame me or tell me I'd rot in hell for my sin. She reiterated what she and my dad had already taught me and facilitated my return of the object. Plain and simple, yet so effective.

Even now, as I near 30, I still get those thoughts in my head (I could totally take that and not get caught). We're talking as large as grand theft auto here, people; this is not a passing, inconsequential temptation. Eternal thanks goes to my parents, though, because I have a deep-seeded understanding that stealing will not make me happy and it is strong enough to stand against those temptations.

Compare those two. One boy will most likely grow up to be someone who scorns my family and our belief in traditional family, perhaps going so far as to torment my children, spray paint my garage door with hate-speech, or worse. And this girl, once a potential thief, is now a solid community citizen who just wants her family to thrive in her care.

Parents, please step up and lead your children. It does make a difference.

Only part of your job as a parent is to love your child no matter what. The rest is to teach them, prepare them to face the world and come out happy (and by happy I don't mean "having received and experienced only what and everything that they wanted." I mean just that, happy; joyful even!).

Experience is what we have to offer to our children. After all, what- really- is the difference between parents and children? Time. As parents, we got here just a bit earlier than they did. In that time that we've been here we've learned and experienced and can turn around and offer that to our children when they get here.

As an experienced nuclear physicist, would you let a three year old tell you how to do your job? Only if you want to cause a massive, deadly explosion because all those buttons looked so colorful they just had to be pushed. Or perhaps have a fifteen year old girl teach your business college class on conflict resolution? Because getting all your friends to ignore and spread rumors about that colleague who criticized your latest report really is the best way to solve the issue, isn't it?

It doesn't make sense in those situations and it doesn't make sense in parent/child situations. The one with the knowledge and experience does the leading and the teaching, not the other way around.

As parents, we lead, show, tell, and teach our children because we know and understand better than they do.

Yes, take into consideration the child's age and ability to understand. Yes, be kind and gentle instead of forceful and cruel.

You can do that AND lead your children. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I am so thankful for my wonderful parents and for the hard work, sacrifice, blood, sweat, tears, and love they put into setting me firmly on the best path. And I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who blessed me with everything I need to be happy.

What are yoooou thankful for today???