Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Reasonable Rules for Dating my Son

I've seen many, many memes and posts along the lines of rules/applications for dating someone's daughter.

They've got their wit and humor, to be sure.

As a mother of boys, I look at them with a different perspective.  Honestly, I don't like them.

This morning, I decided to see if anyone has responded with a rules/application for dating someone's son.

Thank you, Google, for making that search easy.

AND...I didn't like what I found for dating sons, either.

There's too much undertone of cruelty and anger running through these things:

"I will make you go away."

"Understand I don't like you."

"Don't dress like a stripper."

"She's not your conquest."

"Get a lawyer."

"I brought him into this world.  He's mine until there's a ring on your finger.  Then I will be your mother-in-law."

Sheeeeeesh.

So I made my own.

Presenting Lindsey's 10 Rules for Dating my Son:

1. Speak kindly to him.  He's been raised to speak respectfully, please give him the same courtesy- especially when you two disagree about something.
2. Smile at him.  It lets him know you enjoy his company.
3. You've been blessed with a beautiful body.  Please keep it covered.  Don't make him spend all his time spent with you trying to keep his mind in a good place.  Yes, he is responsible for his own thoughts and actions.  But could you give the guy a break?  Dress in a manner that makes it easier for him to concentrate on who you are and not what you are.  You'll both have more fun this way.
4. Respect his body and his space.
5. He is not allowed to hit you.  Do not take advantage of that.
6. He has been taught to pay on dates.  Do not take advantage of that.  He does not have unlimited funds.
7. I know what you two are writing and saying to each other.  Keep your communications clean and respectful and you'll never hear from me about it.
8. Please be honest and straightforward with him.  He's grown up with brothers and we just don't do mind games and emotional tomfoolery around here.  Don't lie to him, don't lead him on.  Just tell it like it is.
9. Be a lady.  Don't be crass and don't be crude.  He needs you to add something softer and gentler to his life.
10. The Golden Rule.  It's as easy as that.

And just to be fair, here is a sample of Dating Rules I will Teach my Sons:

1. Speak kindly to her.  Always.  Even and especially when she gets snippy.  Sometimes, girls just get catty against their better judgement.  You need to be rock solid respectful always.  She'll appreciate your strength.  But if she's always snippy, it's time to rethink what kind of girls you want to date.
2. Smile at her.  It lets her know you like to be around her.  And it lights up your eyes.  You have such handsome eyes.
3. Date girls who show respect for their bodies, and for you, by covering up.  Always keep a hoodie in your car.  That way, if you pick up a date who is not properly attired you can say, "You should have told me today was laundry day!  I would have waited to take you out until you had enough clean clothes.  Here, take my hoodie so you won't be cold."  If she doesn't think that's funny then puts on the hoodie or changes her clothes...chalk that one up to a bad match and try again next weekend with someone else.
4. Respect her body and her space.
5. If you ever push her around or hit her, you will find yourself in massive trouble with your parents and hers.  Punching and wrestling only works to solve problems between you and your brothers.  You have to talk to girls.  There will be much talking.  Don't let that frustrate you; enjoy this new facet of your life!
6. You asked her out, you pay the way for both of you.  Maybe she asked you out, or maybe she wants to pay her share.  If that is the case, you be polite and at least offer to pay.  Whatever the situation, never go out on a date unless you are prepared to pay for it.
7. I monitor all lines of communication.  The more you complain about that, the more often I will have surprise inspections.
8. You will not play dating games.  If you like her, date her.  If you don't think it's working out, tell her and stop dating her.  There will be no leading on.  Mind games are for sissies.  Around here, we mock sissies; you know that.
9. Open doors for her.  Not because she can't do it, but because it shows her you think more about her than yourself.  Be a gentleman.  If she doesn't appreciate that, then Son, you're dating the wrong type of girl for you.
10. The Golden Rule.  It's as easy as that.

So...there you go.  It should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway- This is only a very small piece of what I will teach my boys about dating.  We may be a way off from dating age, but it's never to early to start preparing, eh?:)

2 comments:

Bret said...

Love it! If I could fit it on a t-shirt, I'd wear it around.

Nicole Jenkins said...

I love this and will be forwarding for my son to read. Put very honestly and respectful.