Thursday, May 29, 2014

Hello Summer

Hooray for summer break!

Hooray for having my boys home all day!

Hooray for sunshine, warm weather, popsicles, dirty feet, forced reading time, elaborate games and pretending, bike rides, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, baseball, eating outdoors, mountains, camping, and all the joys a small town summer has to offer!

What are you thankful for today?

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Mother's Day

Last night my twins graduated from Kindergarten.

It was cute. It was corny. It was silly. It was drawn out. It was full of too many props. It was entertaining. It was boring. It was crowded.

I loved it.

I loved standing there, trying and failing to get a good shot of my boys distractedly or enthusiastically singing. I loved having the thought, "Those are my boys. They're growing up so fast, but they're still so young and sweet and awesome. And mine." I loved letting the ensuing feeling of gratitude sink in. Gratitude for who they are. Gratitude for what they're capable of. Gratitude for the health and protection they've been blessed with to make sure they've lived this long;) Gratitude for the hilarity that follows them constantly. Gratitude for the new ways they've opened up the world to me with their people-loving personalities.

But mostly it was gratitude for the privilege it is to be their mother. I am so lucky to be Al's mom. I am so lucky to be Goose's mom. It's a tough, draining, inspiring, entertaining, joyful, intense struggle to be their mom. But what a privilege it is. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother to these boys. To all my boys.

This Mother's Day time of the year, a bit more than the rest of the year ('cause let's be honest- I feel this way often), has a knack for dredging up all the ways I feel I fail as a mom. It's tough feeling like I can be this ideal in my head, but continually falling short. I sometimes feel like I should just let go of that ideal and be more "realistic." But that would only help me feel good in the meantime while keeping me from progressing and cheating my kids out of the better mom I can be. I refuse to give up on that ideal. And so the guilt continues:) But this year, I feel more hope than failure. I have a good chunk of years to look back on and see progress. I'm definitely a better mother now than I was nine years ago. Give me nine more and I might be pretty good!

Just in time for most of them to be on their way out of our nest...

For now I will concentrate on the things to love right now. Like the way Trooper says, "ooWooooow!" with enthusiasm instead of just a plain "wow." And the way Al and Goose play off each other and talk over each other when they're pretending. Their voices get steadily louder and louder until they're shouting about all the fun they're creating. It's annoying, but hilarious when I step back. And the conflict I see in Jonz when he's caught between wanting to grow up and enjoying the "little kid stuff" with his brothers.

Being a mom to these boys is wonderful and meaningful and amazing.

Happy Mother's Day!!

Thursday, May 1, 2014

It's been a while

I feel like writing again. So here I am. Happy Thursday!

We hit a noteworthy mark this week in our home. One year of working this new job for my husband. One whole year.

My husband works in the public sector. So many (oh so many) times over the last four years, I have wanted to publicly disparage my husband's previous employer and co-workers. Let's be honest, I wanted to march into the building and start punching people. That would have made things worse for any job, but add in politics and it would have been downright dangerous. So I held my peace and shoved back my anger.

I just want to commemorate this year of freedom from that junk with a "Good riddance, ya loonies!"...I'll be honest, that's the tame version. I'll keep the mean version in my head and be content with this taste of sentiment. 

I don't miss it. I don't miss anyone there. I'm still working on forgiving a few people for specific things. It's great to be a year removed from all that. Freed up to deal with the rest life wants to throw at us.

This Thankful Thursday, I'm grateful to see the back of that organization (but it sure would have been nice to provide a swift kick in the pants to that back). I'm grateful it's been a year. 

And I'm thankful for t-shirts.

What are you thankful for today?