Motherhood to me is found and defined in the moments.
The moments that keep me going, the moments that make me feel like a mole facing a hammer in that classic arcade game, the moments that give me glimpses of the future, the moments that catapult me into the depths of fear of endless failure, the moments that feel like part of heaven.
Motherhood is moments.
A little hand slipping into mine while we walk from the bedroom to the kitchen, just because he wants to be close to me.
The dinner reaction. From, "Yuck! I hate that, Mom!" to "We're having THAT for dinner?! I LOVE you, Mom!"
Realizing that my but-he's-only-six! year old is already wanting to not be around me and that moment of euphoria when I realize all is not lost and I still have some time as he's skipping next to me because we're off to do something, just the two of us, and he's so happy about it.
Moments between a whiny "whyyyyyyyyyy?" and my response.
Big smiles and bright eyes.
Painful kisses. Who knew a three year old roughly grabbing my head and turning it to an uncomfortable angle so he could plant a soft one on my cheek could be so awesome?
"I luhz oo, Mom"s.
Smells. The you-need-a-bath! smells, the I-don't-even-want-to-know-what's-causing-that-smell-but-have-to-hunt-it-down-to-stop-it-in-case-it's-an-environmental-hazard smells, the hugging-a-clean-boy-in-freshly-laundered-clothes smells, the you-just-brought-me-a-dandelion-and-a-huuuuge-smile smells, etc. etc.
Embarrassing, "yes...that's my child" moments and proud "That's my boy!" moments.
Oodles and buckets and floods of witnessing firsts.
Motherhood moments keep me on my toes and I love them. All of them. They're getting me closer to the end goal of eternal life. Even the moment when Al comes down the stairs to me instead of the ten steps from his room to the bathroom resulting in him throwing up on the stairs. Cleaning up more vomit must surely increase my endure to the end levels and getting me that much closer to the pearly gates;) And the kicker in that moment: though we're constantly coaching the kids to run to the bathroom if they feel they're going to lose it, his innate reaction to seek out Mom for comfort and help when something goes awry superseded all else. That's love:)
That's motherhood. And I love it!
This post is part of MamaBlogga's October Group Writing Project, Motherhood to me...Join us!
P.S. Have you had any moments you'd like to share?
Mommy moments, when two boys are sharin'
Mommy moments, mem'ries of tempers flaring.
I'll never forget the moment he shoved that girl on
the hay ride
The way that her mom muttered an’ glared while I tried to
hide my pride
Mommy moments, mem'ries we’ve been sharin’
Mommy moments, when brothers are caring
I can't erase the sharpie marks
These mommy moments are filled with love
[Clarification: the little girl initiated the shoving and Jonzy wasn't going to put up with it. And yes, it really did rain in our family room.]
The sleep that I’ve lost with you throwing up for hours
The smile on your sweet little face when you
pick me flowers
(The way that we cheered whenever you made it
on time to the bathroom)
The time that you plugged the sink and it rained
all over the family room.
(The endless band-aids, the games that we played, the fun
A life that is full of trying to cope with whatever
Mommy moments filled with love