Thursday, April 1, 2010

It's Been A Dumb Day/ Thankful Thursday

It all started when I realized what the date was today. I'm not a fan of April Fools' Day. I'd go so far as to say I think it's a stupid holiday. I'm sure it started out as something fun. Fun things happen on this "holiday." I've known some pretty good jokes to go down. I even went to dinner at some friends' house once where we ate a spaghetti dinner with all sorts of funny utensils; mine was a pizza cutter. That's fun. I could get behind a holiday like that. But it seems that most people have made it into "It's okay to lie and be a jerk Day." I read on a forum today of a guy who told his employees the company was going under and they all were going to lose their jobs. Are you kidding me? How is that funny?

Thankfully (since this is Thankful Thursday), I've never been subjected to stupid pranks like a saran wrapped toilet or salt in the sugar bowl. But for so many years I was met with "Ha ha haaaa! I can't believe you fell for that!s" and tiring of being made to feel stupid, I decided that I just won't believe a single thing I read or hear on April 1st.

I hate it.

I hate not just being able to trust that I'm being told the truth. I know most people don't mean any harm. But that doesn't make me hate the lies that flow freely all day any less, knowing that "it's all in good fun." I don't think lying is fun. Perhaps if it was only one or two people joshin' with me, I wouldn't mind so much...perhaps.

Yes, I'm sure you're thinking I should lighten up. Not in the mood to lighten up.

It was a busy day. I'm still in my pajamas and it's 10 pm. But it seems no matter how much I did, I didn't feel like I was getting anything accomplished today. But I did! I promise! Laundry, filing (which was long overdue and still only 60% completed), cooking, cleaning, figuring out home school. Oh and then there's the all important-all consuming taking care of three small children, feeding them, clothing them, cleaning up the thousands of messes they made. All while breaking up fights, tending to the one who is having a rough time breathing lately, the one who needs more intellectual stimulation than the others, the overly curious one who feels he's being neglected, and dealing with my own roller coaster hormones.

I think this would have just been a normal day, if not for the lies and hormones putting me in a bad mood and hampering my patience and the home school stuff. Everything is combining against me to make me feel overwhelmed, unappreciated, and completely unable to do everything that needs to be done.

How in the world am I supposed to do everything I need to AND educate my child????

So...back up, Lindsey. Deep breaths. Be reasonable. Everyone gets overwhelmed. Why should my life be any different. I'm not unappreciated. I know my husband is grateful for what I do. I know my kids may be often clueless to what I do, but they love me. Goose even paused in a whirlwind this evening to kiss my cheek and said, "luh oo!":) My parents and in laws appreciate the home I make and the care I take for their grandchildren. And to top it off, there's no where else God would have me be than nurturing His sons. I am capable. Very capable. I've got a good head on my shoulders. I can figure this all out.

But logic aside, I still feel this way. Why? Why do I get overwhelmed when I've got the same stuff on my plate that I do almost everyday? Why do I feel unappreciated when I know that I'm extremely appreciated? Why do I doubt that I can handle what has been put before me? Why, why, why???

I don't have an answer:/

So, I'm just going to get a Thankful list going and see where that takes me.

Things I'm thankful for today:

-My lovely warm house. It's wet and cold outside, but we've remained quite comfortable inside.
-That the city provides curbside trash and recycling pick up service and they took our trash away today.
-My crock pot, which made dinner much less of a hassle today.
-Easter and General Conference are SO close. Who can have a bad day on Easter Sunday?:)
-tap water
-sleeping children
-my dishwasher
-time with Bret (which I must get now! Lindsey out:))

What are you thankful for today?

1 comment:

Melanee said...

Motherhood is hard even on the easiest of days. And even when logic and reason tell us that life is good and that we have so many blessings, sometimes it just doesn't feel that way. But I'm sure you'll feel better faster because you're so good at focusing on the positives. Thanks for sharing your frustration. Hope today is better!