In less than three months, we will meet the newest member of our family.
We don't know who is busy growing inside me.
Is it a little boy waiting to join the troop? Is it a little girl about to add a very different dynamic to our family?
Whoooooo is it?
We don't know and we don't want to know yet.
And when I say 'we' I really mean 'I' and that Bret is being incredibly supportive of this new desire of mine.
It's no secret here that I am not a fan of c-sections but that I am doomed to have them. In trying to come up with ways to make the surgery experience happier, I decided that not knowing the gender of the baby would help lessen the fear felt during one of the most hated times- walking into the operating room without Bret and laying and shivering on the table for a seemingly interminable time with a room full of people who ask me occasional perfunctory questions as I try not to think about how much the next few weeks are going to hurt or when they'll let my husband come in.
I am sure that some amount of fear and trepidation will still be there, but how nice it will be to fight those feelings with the excitement and anticipation of being so near to finally meeting our baby and finding out if our boys will have a brother or a sister!
Sharing this news with others, though, has brought up unforeseen concerns (which I am having a hard time articulating, but here's my shot at it-).
Bret and I are the happy parents to three amazing boys.
So, "naturally," many people expect us to have a girl. Not only that, many people expect that we are desperately trying for a girl.
Which leads me to wonder- are people going to be disappointed if this baby is a boy? Or will they think that Bret or I are somehow disappointed? If this baby is a girl, are people going to make comments about how now we can stop having kids because we got what we wanted?
What other people think really doesn't matter and most people in our circle won't be part of that crowd. This baby is wanted and will be loved no matter what, and he or she will be raised in our home knowing that.
It's just that I hate to think that there will be people who are disappointed at the birth of this child.
We're happy. We're going to be thrilled either way. So I declare that everyone else must be happy, too.