Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Toe, cross, or leap over the line?

There's this thing that moms do with each other.

We talk about how hard it is to be a mom. We talk, chat, and blog about specific events or tasks that are just downright difficult.

And I like that.

It helps me to realize that I am not alone in many of my trials. That there are people I can relate to. That I'm not crazy or abnormal.

But there is a fine line between saying, "This is hard," and complaining, "This is hard."

Far too often I'm finding moms crossing that line. And more and more often I'm finding that moms are leaping over that line.

The way this happens most often is by trying to drag down other moms.

I read a blog today that called me a liar. Flat out. Along with every other woman who doesn't own up to inwardly cheering when the kids leave for school. Because all moms who say they miss their kids at school (or anytime they're apart) must be lying.

Wait...I've never even met this woman. Why in the world is she calling me a liar? She has no idea how I feel about being with or without my kids. Why is her opinion only right if I'm a liar?


This was one of the few times I've been driven to the comments section to see how other readers felt. I saw there were many who felt like I do. But there were more who said, "Right on!" and "Hilarious!" and "I'm so sick of those moms who pretend that life with their kids is perfect. Clueless Jerks."

But here's why I'm writing about it: All the comments that said in some fashion (including one from the author), "Sheesh, ladies! It's a JOKE! Get a sense of humor or stop reading!" in response to the "um, don't call me a liar" comments.

I haaaaaaaate that.

The whole "oops-better-say-I-was-joking-to-save-face-and-make-them-look-like-idiots" tactic. It's like saying something snotty and tacking an lol on the end as if to say, "I'm only kidding, silly." Like Mother Gothel in "Tangled!" Um, no. You're not joking. Sure there were funny and sarcastic things in the post, but the liars thing obviously wasn't.

I know motherhood is often rough. But moms! Don't wallow in it! Don't make the ones who seek for the good in it out to be hoity toity liars. Yes, there are hoity toity lying moms. But I doubt those are the ones who are saying they miss their kids when they're gone.

Please don't insult my intelligence or my honesty.

In a few weeks, I'll be leaving my kids for the weekend to go to a wedding with my husband. I am SO excited! And I am already starting to miss my boys. I will enjoy the weekend with Bret, but my mind will often be traveling back to home and wondering what the boys are doing. Not lying.

I'm sorry there are so many moms who find motherhood a complete drudgery. They miss out on so much. And I wish they wouldn't try to peg me as a liar. It hurts a bit because they don't know me, but it hurts more thinking that there are moms they DO know who they think are lying. Makes me wonder how many moms I personally know who consider me a liar. Don't really want to think about that.

So, moms- here's a plea: Please continue to talk to me and blog about the less than glamorous times. But don't let yourself get so caught up in the hard times that you start to misjudge the others around you.

Please can't we all just follow the Golden Rule?

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