Wednesday, September 2, 2009

When will I learn not to expect things?

I have twins.

They are 21 months old.

They are adorable, and as such (especially as their lucky mother) I adore them.

But having twins, these twins, is nothing like I expected it to be.

I was surprised beyond all surprise when I found out I was carrying two babies instead of the expected one. But once I got over the surprise, I started to create some expectations in my mind.

I expected it to be hard. That came true, and then some...and then some more:)

I expected that it would be totally cute to dress them in coordinating clothes. That came true, too.

I expected them to love each other, to be each others' best friend. To not have separation anxiety because they'd have each other. False, false, false.

My sons are great pretenders. And when it comes to pretending, my youngest boys have it down to an art. They spend 75% of their time pretending that the other doesn't exist. Then 24% of their time is spent screaming and screeching at "that guy who looks like me and has a hold of my toy." A mere 1% of time is spent acknowledging the others' presence, with a sliver of that percentage accounting for the rare giggle they allow to escape when one of them does something the other finds entertaining.

I know they have it in them to love their brother. They are often cracking up at Jonzy's antics and will even let him hold their arm and lead them somewhere...sometimes.

But if I try and put Al and Goose in the same chair they start clawing at each other. Why, oh why don't they like each other? Did they have some sort of tense relationship before they came here and God said, "You guys need to work on that, so I'm going to send you together." ??? It's been this way since infancy. I thought they'd outgrow the propensity to look at everything but their twin. Nope. I still hold out hope that they'll find some sort of affection for each other as they get older. But is that going to just make it harder if/when they don't???

Anyone with twins or siblings who didn't pay any positive attention to each other out there? Did they grow out of it?


Richelle said...

That is so funny. My baby LOVES his brother. Maybe they just see too much of each other.:)

Trieste said...

I'm wondering if it's a developmental issue...I mean until babies/kids are older they don't really play "with" each other and prefer to play alone and do their own thing. They don't quite grow out of that phase until they are at least 2 and sometimes later...I bet they'll get better in time. I'm sure you'll still have the fights, my girls love to fight about wanting the same toy and just if the other is in their way, but I bet they'll be better when they're a little bit older. At least, I hope so, for your sake. I just thought I'd chime in since I do have ideas for you!