Thursday, April 9, 2009

Honk if you know what I'm talkin' about

Speaking of people (yes, I am picking up an a week old "conversation" from a post about people), I had a funny car incident yesterday that made me think of funny people.

I came up to a fairly empty intersection the other day, preparing to turn left. Lights were green, but there was a car coming the opposite direction so I thought I should wait to turn. The car slowed down and then stopped. I wondered why they would stop and double checked that there was no green arrow light. There wasn't. A split second later, one of the two cars behind me honked and before the short honk ended the green arrow light came on. I said, pointing to the lights above, "hey now, no need to get pushy. The light just barely came on!" And then I hurriedly pulled down my hand as the thought occurred to me that they might think I was flipping them the bird. As I drove on, I thought of the many reactions that people have when they hear a car horn. Here's what I came up with based on my own experiences honking and observation of others on the street. Honk a horn and here's what you may come across.

-The oh-no-did-I-do-something-wrong?-ists. These are the ones who hear a honk and double check everything to make sure that they're not breaking any laws, overlooking any signs, in anyone's way, or didn't see something behind them.

-The anyone-who-honks-at-me-is-an-idiot-because-I-am-always-right-ists. These are the ones who tail-gate and/or cut you off. These are also the guys who will park their car in the middle of the street and get out to talk to their homies. You come along and find the road blocked and can see a couple people on the roadside behind the car. You wait a few moments because anyone in their right might would not leave their car in the middle of the street and they must be about to leave. Then they come around to the open door, look at you, and continue to talk and not move their car. You are aggravated by their lack of manners and give a quick honk of your horn to let them know you need to get by, while resisting the urge to stick your head out the window and yell, "Hey, get your fat ugly suv out of the middle of the road, punk!" After speaking a bit longer he'll finally climb into his vehicle, rev his engine, and come at you, veering away from your fender in the nick of time. Half of you wishes he hits you so you can get him into trouble and the other half realizes that it's not worth the hassle, karma will come back to bite him anyway.

-The clueless-they-couldn't-possibly-be-honking-at-me-I'll-just-keep-doing-what-I'm-doing-ists. These people usually elicit a longer honk before their attention is caught and necessary changes made.

-The I-have-anger-management-issues-and-you're-going-to-hear-about-it-ists. Maybe you honked at these people, maybe you didn't. Either way when they hear a horn, they're going to assume it was at them and that they didn't deserve it. They're going to let out a stream of profanities that would make a sailor blush. Though highly irrational, these people are fun to watch in the dead of winter when the windows are rolled up and they're not going to get out of their car. The trying to shout loud enough to be heard through the glass, the shaking of fists and flailing about are almost comical.

-The Omigosh-I'm-so-sorry-I-can't-believe-I-just-did-that-I'm-sorry-I'm-so-embarrassed-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-ists. These usually happen in near collision backing up incidents where people aren't looking behind them. I say, "no harm, no foul. Thanks for stopping and not hitting my car."

-The so-I-broke-traffic-laws-and-endangered-your-life-your-children's-lives-my-life-and-nearly-wrecked-our-cars-...what-of-it?-next-time-get-out-of-my-way-ists. These are the ones that roll their eyes, flip you off, and get back to their all important cellphone call or text as they speed away.

That's what I came up with. Did I miss any? It's amazing that we're all people and yet we can react in such different ways, often unpleasant ways at that.

1 comment:

Richelle said...

That's funny. Pretty true!