Mail (get it?)

Dear Father in Heaven,

     Many people like to remark on how funny it is that I grew up with only brothers and now I'm raising only sons.  I think it's kind of funny myself.  I don't know what my future holds, but it's clear to me that I am meant to walk this life surrounded by fellas.  And for that I say- Thank you!

     Thank you for my dad.  Thank you for sending me where I would be raised in a family headed by someone who would show me what I can expect from you.  It's been said that children, especially daughters, pattern their relationship with you after their relationship with their earthly father.  Thank you for blessing me with a father who did not teach me to be scared of you.   He taught me by word and deed that you love me, that I can trust you, that no matter what I think I know about a situation- you are smarter than me and know better, that if something is important to me it is important to you, and that you will always do absolutely everything you can for me.

     Thank you for my husband.  Thank you for helping me find someone that I can respect and who respects me, someone who sacrifices so much of himself to provide for our family, someone who
made it possible for me to be a mother to four beautiful boys, someone who will be a fantastic example and leader for those boys, someone who forgives, someone who makes me smile even in the midst of hormonally-driven meltdowns, and someone who values my opinion.  And the fact that he's easy on the eyes is a brilliant bonus.

     Thank you for my amazing brothers.  Thank you for my incredible sons.  Thank you for my friends.  Thank you for all those awesome church leaders now and over the years. 

     Thank you for blessing me with a life that has proved to me the infinite value of a righteous man.  Thank you for blessing me with a life where I can be surrounded by the priesthood.  As someone who regularly dreams up the worst case scenario, I feel safe in this unpredictable world.  Thank you for blessing me with a life where I have be taught how to be a leader AND how to follow a righteous lead.  Thank you for blessing me with a life that has showed me the truth and joy that following that righteous lead doesn't mean I lose my identity.

     Guys are great and I'm so thankful to know so many of the top-notch out there.

                                                                                        Love,
                                                                                           Lindsey

Thankful Thursday

Gots lots of writing fodder in my brain.  But I'm going simple.

Today I am thankful for sleep.

Baby went to sleep at 9:30 pm.  I went to sleep at 11:30 pm (I know.  I must be a masochist).

He woke up at- wait for it- 4 am.  Four in the morning!  That's almost SEVEN hours of sleep.

It's a miracle!!

And it gets even better.

He ate and went right back to sleep.  No fuss.  No crying.  Beautiful.

I went back in to my room and found that it was only 4:15.

Fifteen minutes out of bed.  That's it.

He slept again until I woke him up to feed him before taking Jonz to school.  (Can I just say how uncool and counter intuitive it is to wake up a baby in the early hours of the morning?)

After a couple rough nights with the little guy, it was so so so soooo wonderful to have the best night we've had with him. 

Sleep makes all the difference in the world.  And I am so thankful that I can get some good sleep these days.  It's not every night, but there's hope for the future.

Hooray for hope:)

What are you thankful for today?

Drinks. Riiiiiight.

It's Thursday and I'm supposed to post something.  I have been zoning out all day, though.  I feel kind of punchy.  Read with caution.

I can't concentrate enough to actually write anything that seems coherent, let alone string up a thought in my brain to try to type in the first place.

I'm tired.

But not really.

I don't feel like I need to take a nap during the day.  Once I commit to getting out of bed in the morning, I'm not wishing it was bedtime.  So I'm not tired-sleepy.

I certainly feel tired-worn out.  Baby (keep the blog nickname ideas coming; we've got some good ones in the mix) slept for almost five hours straight last night.

After that it wasn't as smooth sailing. 

I'm not complaining!  Heavens no.  Okay, maybe just a tiny bit.  But I've been through much much much much MUCH more trying sleep deprivation with a newborn(s).  This little guy is a heaven-sent angel baby as far as I'm concerned.

But let's be honest.  I'm not as young as I once was.  I may still be in my 20s, but what a difference a few years makes.

I'm tired!

But, fine, I'm not so tired that nothing to be thankful for comes to mind.  Get to the point, Lindsey!

Ginger ale!

Boylan's ginger ale, actually.  Nothing says, "Congratulations for keeping everyone alive for another day!" like an ice cold ginger ale after kids are in bed.  Dead of winter and inversions be...not cold enough to keep me from such activity!  Of course I wasn't going to swear!...

It's been my guilty pleasure, sanity saver, beverage of choice lately.  You know, besides the gallons of water I need to drink for nursing's sake.

You should try it.  It soothes the tired body, enlightens the mind, eases burdened shoulders, and enlivens the senses. 

"It's like a hootenanny in my mouth!"

No, but really.  It's delicious.  And it's even good for you!  Well...let's call it not-as-bad-for-you-as-run-of-the-mill-soda. 

I need to figure out how to buy this stuff by the case.  Or iv bag.  Wait...let's stick with case.  Needles aren't worth it.  Or death for that matter.

So, I think I will eschew (look, my vocabulary is returning:)!!!!!) my normal question and instead ask, "What's your favorite drink lately???"

"Look what I can do!"

I've been out of the hospital for a few weeks now. 

Every day I am making progress.  And most every day I am so happy with a new (ie returned) ability that I call out to Bret, "Look what I can do!"

Things like-

Bending over the sink.
Standing from a chair without needing to push off or pull myself up by anything.
Spinning on one foot to dry my hands off on the kitchen towel while pushing the dishwasher closed with my other foot. (that's a fun one:))
Lifting my feet up while I'm sitting.
Twisting to look at something instead of turning completely around.
Standing for more than ten minutes.
Walk swiftly down the stairs.
Lift things slightly heavier than the baby. (over my head even!)

And that's all I can think of for now.  There's still much progress to be made.  I still look forward to the day I can laugh, cough, or sneeze without pain.  And jump up and down.  And carry laundry baskets downstairs instead of dragging them behind me.  And wrestle with my boys.  And being able to pick up a five year old who fell out of bed so I can put him back.  Sleeping on my side without feeling like my insides are about to fall out.

I am trying to remind myself that time heals all wounds and I will be back to full health eventually.  I might even be able to jump on the trampoline with my boys this summer...but that's probably not really going to happen until neeeext summer...But yes, time heals all wounds. 

And until that time comes, I'm enjoying the "Look what I can do!" moments. 

Like taking almost normal strides to the mailbox and stomping the snow off my boots:)

Who what when where...why

My calendar tells me it's Thursday.

My head tells me it mattereth not.  There is no month.  There is no week.  There is no day.

"There is no spoon."

My life is a series of two to three hour blocks, feeding a baby around the clock.  When not occupied doing that I am guessing the animals my boys are pretending to be, admiring homemade swords, negotiating sharing deals, washing dishes or laundry, nagging about chores and reading time, zoning out in the rocking chair while bouncing a bouncer with my foot and answering all the "Mom! Look at this!" requests, making super simple meals or reheating leftovers, putting my feet up in an effort to facilitate rest and healing for my sliced open torso, and sometimes I manage to shower and change out of my pajamas.  Lately, baby's (someone needs to come up with a good blog nickname...) schedule at night allows for veg time with Bret for a good movie and a fancy soda.

So, please forgive me for almost not realizing that things such as Thursdays still exist.

And since it's Thursday I'll tell you that I am thankful for all the service given to me and mine over the past few weeks.  The time and effort expended, the meals, the cleaning fairies who have visited twice!, the visits (though we're blocking future visits until flu season is over), the diapers, the gifts, the well-wishes, and the prayers. 

Surrounded by angels, I tell you what.  And I'm married to the best one.

And now...for the most part I'm on my own.  No more husband home during the day.  No more visits (did I mention I'm quarantine...ing my boys?).  No more meals brought in.  Wish me luck.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

I am failing at these Thankful Thursday postings lately. 

I really should be in bed, taking advantage of four sleeping children (cha-ching! jackpot!), right now.

But then I remembered it's Thursday and so I've come here to make an attempt at posting lest you think I am not grateful.

Because I AM grateful.

Abundantly so!  These past weeks have been chock full of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the bazillion blessings and tender mercies he's poured on me.

But I have not the capability of writing out a coherent post about all that awesomeness.  Nor the stamina to remain awake and attempt it.

And so my Thankful Thursday post today is this:

I am thankful for perspective. 

I wish I could have it always.  I wish having it made life easier.  I wish I weren't so worn out.

But I love that I have it sometimes.  I love that it takes the edge off.  And I love that I'm worn out doing something so valuable with my life.

Considering my current state, I'd say that's some pretty deep musings:)

What are you thankful for today???