Oh, Moms.
Why do you do this?
Why can't we all stop talking the talk and actually start walking the walk???
We say all sorts of nice and grand things about not judging other moms and their decisions. We talk of how each family is different and therefore each mom is entitled to make decisions based on what's best for those under her care.
Great! Then why don't we believe it?
Example:
I say, "I homeschool my boys" and suddenly I've offended 75% of the moms who heard me say it.
Whaaaaaaat?!?
I didn't say, "I'm better than you, so I homeschool my boys." Nor did I say, "You're a bad mom and you don't love your children if you don't homeschool."
When someone says to me, "My kids go to such-and-such school," I don't hear, "You're smothering your children and not allowing them to really experience life and great education, you horrible homeschooling mother you!"
Why do we get so defensive and offended?
I don't know, but we do. I don't get offended at the offset of conversations about education, but I have been known to get hurt at what comes out once the defensive buttons have been pushed.
It hurts that other moms out there honestly believe that I'm harming my kids, that I think parents who don't homeschool are awful, that I think I'm better than they are, that my boys are going to fail and be weirdos no one wants to be around, that I don't trust my boys, that I don't care about other people or my community, etc. etc. etc.
The latest I've heard is that I lack "courage and love" and am not allowing my boys to use their agency or be good examples and missionaries since I don't send them to school.
It hurrrrrrts, people! Even when it mostly comes from people who don't really know me.
When are we honestly going to embrace the fact that what's best for one family isn't for another and that everyone else is trying to do the best they can for their families?
P.S. To those of you I know in real life who don't homeschool- if I've ever given the impression that I think less of you because of your schooling decisions, I'm sorry! That's not the impression I mean to give because I don't think it. You're wonderful moms who I know are following the guidance you are sent!
4 comments:
I know where you are coming from. Believe me! I believe everyone has right to revelation regarding their family's education among other things. I'm regularly surprised at people who are offended because I am following the revelation I've received. I want to say "It's mine.... not yours... mine... all mine.... go get your own! And don't make judgments about what's not yours." :) Maybe I'll write a post about it. ;)
Woooow, ridiculous. It's obvious that homeschooling has been really awesome for your very confident kid and that he still gets plenty of chances to interact with other children and "let his light so shine" lol sorry you have to deal with so much junk - it's lame! You're doing such an amazing job!
:( silly mommies silly silly mommies(said in a KID HISTORY voice) that is so silly, those who know you best (and I am including myself in this group) know you are a great mom, and the truth is we can not stop others from judging us, just keep doing what we feel is best. Many judged Christ and he just kept on doing what he needed to do. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... you are A GREAT MOM!!!!!!
I vote you don't read those mommy blogs anymore and that you come up with a fun comeback when someone says something hurtful about homeschooling. You've done a fabulous job and Jeffrey is thriving - there's your evidence for you!
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