Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The burning question

It's been happening regularly for years.

Even in the days after I gave birth to twins.

And as those "babies" of mine get bigger and bigger, it's happening more.

Lately, a LOT more.

It usually comes in one of three forms: Are you done? When are you going to have more? Are (or when are) you going to try for a girl?

Short answer- "I don't know."

Not good enough for you? Then dive into the long answer-

"I'd like to know even more than you, but I have no idea."

Bret and I both come from families of six and had thought four kids would be a good number for us, too. While taking care of days-old twins I declared to myself and God that never ever ever again would I do this because it was just too hard.

I've lightened up since then. Sometimes, I've even thought having five would be best.

But what I have remained firm on is that I'm not having another until we get a clear as crystal "It's time" from above. Both times we were trying to get pregnant, we really felt that the time was right. I haven't felt that since Al and Goose came. At all. And I'm beginning to wonder if I ever will.

I've wondered many things over the years. Like, what if I can't have any more children? Maybe God sent Al and Goose together because he knew my body and/or mind couldn't handle any future additions and our family was meant to have these three boys so he had to double them up. Will I ever get that feeling some moms talk about; the peaceful one where they just know that they're done? Will we just skip the whole process and the "it's time" will come in the form of a "Surprise!?"

We may never know.

I take comfort in the fact that we're in a good place right now. I love my family. I love my boys.

Does that answer the question?:)


korth fam said...

people need to mind their own beeswax. It's up to three people, you, Bret and the Lord and they weren't invited into the conversation :) haha love ya linds! and HOORAY for girls weekend! Just a little excited!

Laura said...

Don't let others pressure you into anything - even into answering their nosy questions. Like Tan said - only 3 people are EVER involved in that decision and the people asking you those questions are NOT part of the equation! Feel good about loving and enjoying your beautiful family. And IF there are more in your future, well that's great. If not, that is just as great! Love you honey!

Melanee said...

Has it really been 3 months since you posted this? I'm such a lame blog reader. Anyway, I just thought it was funny that you posted this because I remember the first time I saw you after you had the twins, I was thinking about how incredibly hard it would be to have two babies at the same time and how that would probably be the end for me and I blurted out one of those "so do you think you're done?" kinds of questions and then immediately felt embarrassed for having asked such a question. Good story, huh? Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is 1)sorry I did that and 2)sometimes people just say dumb things because they're kind of dumb and they're just trying to think of something to say without really thinking about what they're saying. :) But I understand how you feel about that decision. I hope and pray that the answer is really clear for us, too, one way or the other.