Again we meet

Every time I put Trooper down for a nap, I get insanely jealous. I want to take a nap, too!!!

I'm sick this week, too, so I want even more to take naps. Sometimes, the one year olds have all the luck.

And right now I have writer's block. So this week you get a list. Which, while possibly very boring to read, is at least much better than last week's nothing!

I am thankful for-

the smell of fresh cut wood as I walk through the skeleton of my future house
soda
kleenex
a van that gets us where we need to go
a warm house
wild, monkey boys
baby sign language
prayer
scriptures
General Conference (it's coming sooooon!!!)
music
the Internet (well, most of the time. Sometimes I hate it and wish it would die)
deep fryers
diffusing essential oils
bikes (and the joy of seeing my twins riding like old pros)
pianos

What are you thankful for today?

My kids are cuter than yours

It's just me and my Trooper right now. We sit in a quiet house (aside from the virtually ever-present buzzing of the refrigerator- golly that thing is loud!) and he is happily munching on his lunch. While sitting here admiring the beautiful shape of his sweet little profile, the way his round little cheeks move while he chews, the way he'll look over at me to see if I'm still watching and the smile that lights up his whole being when he realizes that I am, the way his neck stretches out just a bit when he's concentrating on what he's tasting, the little voice chattering away in his own little language (yeah...there's just a lot to admire about this kid:)), I thought, "Uh oh, it's Friday and I didn't blog yesterday!"

So here I am to enumerate the blessings I've received this week.

I'm thankful for Trooper, my tender mercy baby who has been a source of peace and joy in a very unsettled time. Life would be so hectic without him.

I'm thankful for Goose, my goofball wild man who is trying his best to teach me patience and compassion. Life would be so mundane without him.

I'm thankful for Al, my monkey boy who is so full of questions I have no reason to ever stop learning. Life would be so boring without him.

I'm thankful for Jonz, my little lawyer who has an answer for everything and is a physical reminder that six year olds do learn to control their energy eventually and I should be hopeful for his brothers. Life would be so empty without him.

I'm thankful for Bret, my brave husband who takes on the world for our family. Life would be pointless without him.

I'm thankful for this totally awesome little town we've moved to. The kind of place where mullets are alive and well (please PLEASE let them die before my boys become teenagers!). The kind of place where the 3rd grade program includes honoring the Browns, who've been a part of the community for over sixty years. The kind of place where half the town is related in some way shape or form and most of the residents have been here for three or four generations. The kind of place that builds a beautiful baseball park at the foot of some of the most beautiful mountains you've ever seen, especially come sunset! The kind of place with century old houses with fruit trees and picket fences. The kind of place where everyone waves and smiles. The kind of place where I can step outside any time of day and hear birds singing while I admire the mountains, sky, stars, sunset, etc.

I love it here.

And speaking of the 3rd grade program- my Jonzy boy started school one week before the show and managed to learn all the songs and dances. He's pretty awesome. And the program capped off with a totally amazing, traditional song that you would never hear elsewhere and that, from the style of music, sounds like they've been singing this song since before I was a 3rd grader and they plan to sing it forever. When the intro music started, Bret leaned over and whispered, "Are we in an Amway commercial?" I almost snorted. And then when the kids actually started singing the words...we couldn't stop shaking with silent laughter. Small towns are awesome:)

And though building a house is insanely stressful, I'm super thankful to be in this process. It's exciting!

And what about you? What are you thankful for today?

No more

Ten. Months.

It took ten months to sell our house, but it happened. We have finally moved! Bret has been working at the other end of the state for ten months. We saw him on weekends. Now we will see him every evening! Much has been endured in the last months. To celebrate the end of this era and the beginning of our new adventure, I'd like to make a list of what I will have no more of. Maybe I'll even write it out, rip it up, stomp on it, and burn it for some therapy:)

There will be:

No More Staging the House for Showings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No more showings!
No more not being welcome in my own house.
No more eating out because someone wanted to see the house at dinnertime.
No more planning meals around what makes the least mess and cleans up quickest in case someone calls for a showing.
No more confining kids to the couch or the car while I do finishing touches on staging the house.
No more going to find an item only to remember it's packed up and in the storage unit until we move.
No more going through the stress and effort of staging, dragging my kids around town and/or feeding them less-than-nutritional food because we can't eat at home, bringing them home to finally get to bed late only to find that either no one showed up or they were late and "just need a few more minutes."
No more parking down the street and sitting in the car with restless or cranky kids waiting for latecomers to leave.
No more strangers going through my cupboards.
No more strangers ignoring the "please remove your shoes" sign and wearing their wet, dirty shoes on my new carpet.
No more strangers using my bathroom and leaving the toilet seat up.
No more strangers leaving things out of place and messing with my mild case of OCD.
No more strangers scuffing up my hope chest.
No more struggling (or failing) to not snap at the boys for making the completely normal messes that kids make.
No more dealing with the black underbelly of the real estate business! Hallelujah!
No more being the only adult in the house.
No more handling all the grown up responsibilities by myself. If the pipes freeze again- Bret's on the job. If there's a spider to kill, someone else will do it. Household chores, business, bills, phone calls, projects, errands, organization, meals, heavy lifting, snow shoveling, homework, diaper disasters, sick kiddos, teething baby, drama, sibling fighting, etc. etc. etc- SHARED:)
No more staying up until midnight trying to get in as much talking with Bret as I possibly can.
No more turning out all the lights and having to pray away the fear of someone breaking into the house while I'm alone with the kids.
No more going to bed lonely.
No more trying not to cry in the wee hours of Monday mornings after Bret has left for the week.
No more wishing I could just run simple errands in the evenings without four children in tow because we'd all had enough of each other, but not wanting to ask for help so ending up either not running errands and doing without or taking all the kiddos along anyway.

And now my brain is done thinking, so I'm done writing this list. Plus I need to go pick up kids from school. Hope you're having a lovely Thursday and that you pause to think of something you're grateful for.

Peace out.

Gratitude

I admit- gratitude has been shoved to the back of my mind for a couple weeks.

It's not a happy way to live. It's not a sad way to live, either, but it's definitely not happy. It's just...living.

And I found today that getting out of the habit makes it difficult to get back into the habit.

I tried to think of things to be grateful for (a few things came to mind), but when I specifically tried to nail down how I'd seen God's hand in my life...I'm ashamed to say I struggled.

It didn't come as easily as it did just a couple weeks ago. It wasn't as clear to see what he's done for me today.

Don't worry. It came:) And it was accompanied by a warning/reminder to always try to keep gratitude in the forefront of my mind. This is vital part of the life I want to lead.

Today I am grateful for good friends and all the love I've felt in the last few days. I'm also grateful for Lemon Oreos, money, giggles, hope, Jesus, my laptop, my bed, space heaters, hot showers, hoodies, juvenile fiction, cell phones, pentel pens, cardboard boxes, and rolls of tape.

What are you thankful for today?

Obligation

I feel obligated to write.

These things happen. It's happened before. It will happen again.

I just don't feel like writing.

And so I don't.

You can't force these things.

But I will tell you that I made a jar for 2014 (and probably years to come, if this catches on). 2013 was a stupid year. I even wrote this letter to 2013 and stuck it on facebook:

Dear 2013, 
I hate you. 
Good riddance. 
It's time to party. 
To celebrate you ending. 
I might even make a cheeseball. 
Because you're over.
*pthbbbthpbththb*
-Lindsey

People laughed, but I was dead serious (although I'll admit to a smidgen of humor driven behind writing that).

In hopes of keeping an optimistic spirit through 2014, I created a jar. It's a cute jar. I even put ribbon on it. Once we move, I'll probably try to make it cuter. But for now it's mostly just functional. I store slips of paper in the lid and a pen inside. Every day (or almost every day) I write down something God did for me that day and happy moments. I've written down things from my Trooper learning to walk to timely words from a church leader. It's great and I like it:)

So I guess I dedicate this Thankful Thursday to my jar...It needs a name. I'll get around to that.

What are you thankful for today?

Because it's been too long

I can't win.

I told my boys last night that they could go downstairs when they woke up instead of waiting for me to come get them. Only stipulation: Be super quiet so you don't wake up Trooper.

The talking (my boys' normal volume is two decibels short of yelling) started before they even got halfway down the stairs.

I can't win.

I asked the boys to unload the dishwasher (a daily chore) and was met with protestations galore. "WHY do we have to put dishes away?" (so we have clean dishes when we want them) "Why is it only ever US doing dishes and not YOU?" (oh no you di'int!) "I HATE having dishes!" (you're welcome to eat off the floor) "Goose, get out of the way!" (you might try asking him nicely) "I HATE selling our house!" (so do I, but bad news: you're still going to have to do this at our new house because this is something that needs to be done whether we have a showing or not)

I can't win.

I tried to make cleaning their room a game. Only stipulation: Be super quiet so you don't wake up Trooper sleeping right on the other side of the wall.

You can guess how many seconds THAT lasted. *siiiiiiiiigh*

I can't win.

Christmas was less than a month ago. The pleeeeeeeease-can-I-have-this requests are already back in full swing. Sat one of my boys down today and explained how blessed he is to have any toys at all let alone the massive amount we do have. He about died of grief when he did not get the "black sonic the hedgehog guy remote controlled motorcycle toy" he saw on a shelf today.

I just can't win.

I have hope that all the years past, present, and future of this means I'm going to win in the long run. When my boys have grown into well mannered, down to earth, hard working, respectful men and all that.

But for now?

I'd really just like a win!

What a Thursday

It's crazy snowing here today.

It takes ten-ish minutes to get to school. This morning it took me half an hour to get there and half an hour to get back home. I left early to go pick up my kindergartners, and when I got them I signed out my third grader, too. No way was I going to chance that drive a third time!

So we're all home and "cozy" for the storm.

The boys had a tremendous snowball fight in the backyard.

All three of them are eating the gingerbread houses they made at school. I think the sticky fingers might just drive me insane.

I've shoveled the driveway three times already today and the sidewalk once (thanks to the awesome neighbor who came through with their snowblower!). There's already another couple inches out there and I should think about going out again.

My baby is taking a nap. He's one year old now. I hardly know what to make of how quickly he's growing up.

I should be cleaning.

The weekends never get here fast enough.

Christmas is getting here way too quickly. But I'm looking forward to it...if I can just finish getting ready for it.

I currently have a love/hate relationship with my house.

And to the point- I am thankful for our Christmas tree. It's ten or eleven feet tall. It's not too wide at the base. It's gorgeous and beautiful and amazing and festive.

I love it.

What are you thankful for today?