With all the celebrities having twins out there, I sometimes feel like I'm taking part in a trend...weird. I don’t like looking like I'm trying to be like celebrities...
Anyway, here are some answers I wish I could give to twins questions and comments that I don’t for fear of offending or looking stupid for not answering the way that’s expected. For the curious ones out there, I'll include the real answers to the questions in parentheses.
"Are they twins?"
Who? Oh! These babies? I don't know. I found this stroller in the parking lot and just wanted to try out the steering. Oh my, I didn't know there were babies in it until you pointed.
"Do twins run in your family?"
Not yet, but if they're anything like their brother then they'll be running all over the place soon.(sort of...about three generations back and a couple branches to the left)
"Are they natural?"
No, they're a blend of special synthetic materials we bought on ebay.
"How do you tell them apart?"
Well, they're really too young to understand what we're saying so we just have to move them away from each other when they get too close.
(we cut A’s hair shorter than we cut W’s.)
"Boy do you have your hands full!"
Better than empty!
"I'm so glad they're yours and not mine."
Yeah, that makes five of us.
"Are they all yours?"
Um…yeeeeah. Yeah, they're mine…right. Um, if you see a couple guys in uniform come in here could you just say that you didn't see me? They'll try to convince you that they're police officers looking for a kidnapper, but that's totally a lie. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks!
"Wow, lucky you! Done in one go. Oh…you’ve got another one, too."
Yeah, we're going to try to repopulate Siberia. Did you know that thousands of years ago there used to be a huge, prosperous civilization there? I wonder what happened to them…Anyway, we want to claim it for our own, but first we need the manpower and what better way than homegrown, eh?
(We'll have as many children as is right for our family, thankyouverymuch)
Originally written: August 28, 2008