I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I am a woman.

I love being female.

My gender is eternal, beautiful, strong, amazing, capable, nurturing, and incredible.

This Thankful Thursday I want to share my gratitude for the privilege it is to be a woman, a disciple of Christ, and a member of the LDS Church.

Never EVER have I been told or made to feel that I am less than my brothers in the Church. Whenever I have been part of decision-making councils, my voice has always been heard and valued. Even as a teenager!

I have power. I have authority. I have worth. I am an equal partner.

Much has been said in recent months (years. decades. scores. generations.) I don't feel the need to repeat the good stuff or debate the wrong stuff. I would like to just add one point I feel is being missed as the conversation seems to pull over to dwelling on how "mistreated" both sides are.

The one side for being "oppressed," "silenced," and "second class."

And the other for feeling "misrepresented," betrayed," and "belittled."

Yes, we need to love each other. Yes, we need to show compassion. But we seem to have forgotten that sometimes love and compassion is saying, "You're wrong. Stop what your doing. Let me help you understand. But you need to stop because you're hurting yourself (and/or others)."

I don't deny that people have been hurt and some have made very poor choices on how they handle the situation. But being hurt doesn't mean you run screaming down Apostasy Lane. Being hurt doesn't mean it's okay to call OW supporters horrible people. Sometimes you have to tell someone you love that they're being an idiot! And sometimes being loved means you have to hear that you're being an idiot!

The OW movement is wrong and based in misunderstanding, false teachings, anger, and pride.

There. I said it.

I know.

Ouch.

I am not heartless. Empathy runs in my veins (put there by simple genetics and an awesome upbringing). I hurt for the people who have been hurt. And I hurt more that so many are ignoring the loving counsel of family and leaders and hurting themselves and others more. It's sad.

But sadness doesn't mean we ignore the truth and "hug out" the hurt with empty words on the internet.

I am thankful to be surrounded by people who love me. People who will encourage and support me through thick and thin. The same people who will be honest with me if I need to change course. Who won't coddle me. Who will push me to be a better Lindsey. THAT is love. THAT is acceptance. THAT is tolerance.

What are you thankful for today?

June 5

Wasn't it just Christmas?

Didn't we just barely sell our house?

Wasn't it just last month that we moved down here?

This year is flying past.

While it's a bit disconcerting to have life shooting past me so quickly, I will take this June over last year's. Last June was dumb. Last summer was tough. This June is already worlds better than last year. This summer holds so much more awesomeness ahead. I'm excited to dump last year's summer for this one.

I am enjoying summer with my family. Little league baseball games, sunshine, warm breezes, cool treats, mountain excursions, bike rides, walks, movies in the middle of the day, books, flip-flops, bbqs, vacation planning, star gazing, cloud watching, exploring. Summer is awesome!

What are you thankful for today?

Hello Summer

Hooray for summer break!

Hooray for having my boys home all day!

Hooray for sunshine, warm weather, popsicles, dirty feet, forced reading time, elaborate games and pretending, bike rides, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, baseball, eating outdoors, mountains, camping, and all the joys a small town summer has to offer!

What are you thankful for today?

Mother's Day

Last night my twins graduated from Kindergarten.

It was cute. It was corny. It was silly. It was drawn out. It was full of too many props. It was entertaining. It was boring. It was crowded.

I loved it.

I loved standing there, trying and failing to get a good shot of my boys distractedly or enthusiastically singing. I loved having the thought, "Those are my boys. They're growing up so fast, but they're still so young and sweet and awesome. And mine." I loved letting the ensuing feeling of gratitude sink in. Gratitude for who they are. Gratitude for what they're capable of. Gratitude for the health and protection they've been blessed with to make sure they've lived this long;) Gratitude for the hilarity that follows them constantly. Gratitude for the new ways they've opened up the world to me with their people-loving personalities.

But mostly it was gratitude for the privilege it is to be their mother. I am so lucky to be Al's mom. I am so lucky to be Goose's mom. It's a tough, draining, inspiring, entertaining, joyful, intense struggle to be their mom. But what a privilege it is. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother to these boys. To all my boys.

This Mother's Day time of the year, a bit more than the rest of the year ('cause let's be honest- I feel this way often), has a knack for dredging up all the ways I feel I fail as a mom. It's tough feeling like I can be this ideal in my head, but continually falling short. I sometimes feel like I should just let go of that ideal and be more "realistic." But that would only help me feel good in the meantime while keeping me from progressing and cheating my kids out of the better mom I can be. I refuse to give up on that ideal. And so the guilt continues:) But this year, I feel more hope than failure. I have a good chunk of years to look back on and see progress. I'm definitely a better mother now than I was nine years ago. Give me nine more and I might be pretty good!

Just in time for most of them to be on their way out of our nest...

For now I will concentrate on the things to love right now. Like the way Trooper says, "ooWooooow!" with enthusiasm instead of just a plain "wow." And the way Al and Goose play off each other and talk over each other when they're pretending. Their voices get steadily louder and louder until they're shouting about all the fun they're creating. It's annoying, but hilarious when I step back. And the conflict I see in Jonz when he's caught between wanting to grow up and enjoying the "little kid stuff" with his brothers.

Being a mom to these boys is wonderful and meaningful and amazing.

Happy Mother's Day!!

It's been a while

I feel like writing again. So here I am. Happy Thursday!

We hit a noteworthy mark this week in our home. One year of working this new job for my husband. One whole year.

My husband works in the public sector. So many (oh so many) times over the last four years, I have wanted to publicly disparage my husband's previous employer and co-workers. Let's be honest, I wanted to march into the building and start punching people. That would have made things worse for any job, but add in politics and it would have been downright dangerous. So I held my peace and shoved back my anger.

I just want to commemorate this year of freedom from that junk with a "Good riddance, ya loonies!"...I'll be honest, that's the tame version. I'll keep the mean version in my head and be content with this taste of sentiment. 

I don't miss it. I don't miss anyone there. I'm still working on forgiving a few people for specific things. It's great to be a year removed from all that. Freed up to deal with the rest life wants to throw at us.

This Thankful Thursday, I'm grateful to see the back of that organization (but it sure would have been nice to provide a swift kick in the pants to that back). I'm grateful it's been a year. 

And I'm thankful for t-shirts.

What are you thankful for today?

Smell that? It's April. Breathe it in.

The change of months is very refreshing to me. The first of every month feels like a pat on the back:

"Good job, Lindsey! Look at everything that you've accomplished. Another month down. Go team!"

It quantifiable progress.

The change over from March to April was particularly satisfying this year. April just feels more hopeful and happy. General Conference happens in April. There's an annual conference Bret goes to in April and the family is tagging along. The boys' spring break is in April and we're spending it up north. There's April birthdays. Spring flowers. We're supposed to get siding, brick, windows, and doors on this house this month.

Oh. And just this little holiday called EASTER.

April is hopeful. April is happy. April is progress.

Okay every month is progress, but let me feel like there's something special about April:)

Today I'm thankful for April.

What are you thankful for?

"Today is Thursday"

Sharon, Lois, and Bram are now stuck in my head. (minute 1-2:30 for those with little time to reminisce)

Today I'm thankful for school, tv, ice cream, internet, hugs, flat irons, my van, General Conference, water, my piano, a soft bed, hot showers, temples, Bret, Jonz, Al, Goose, and Trooper.

And Jesus.

What are you thankful for today?