Oooohhhh, snap!

2012-02-10T22:33:00.002-07:00

Two missed Thankful Thursdays in a row!?!?

What is this world coming to?

Alright so it's totally my fault...and life's.

Life's been busier than normal and I'm running behind, trying to keep up.

I have lots in my head that I want to say, but nothing's coming out here well. I can't make the thoughts run together well. The written word portion of my brain feels broken.

So. I'll say that through the last crazybusy nine or so days have been eventful and I am super thankful for the spiritual guidance that we can get in our lives.

That should cover two missed Thursdays, right?

Hooray:)

What are you thankful for today?

Just for fun

2012-01-31T14:21:00.002-07:00

So, this video came to my attention today. It had me crying, it's so funny!

First of all, it's just plain hilarious.

But it is all the more hilarious to me because I totally get that!

Any time my emotions get above, below, kitty-corner, sidestepped, or diagonal to normal- I'm crying or trying really hard not to while my eyes fill up. If I start to get excited about something, I do my best to not be excited because I don't want to embarrass myself with tears. I'm a killjoy like that. Or if someone tells me something really sad, I look like a heartless jerk who doesn't care at all while really I'm having this internal struggle in order to avoid a mess of emotion.

Dumb tears.

So while I don't have the guts to share a video like this with the world (thank heavens none exist of me!), THANK YOU, Kristin Bell, for sharing and letting me know there are other weepy nuts like me out there.

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-26T19:46:00.003-07:00

Today is Thursday.

I should be blogging about something I'm grateful for in my life.

This is the third time I've sat down at my computer today with the intent of writing a blog post.

But after checking my email and facebook, I head to blogger, stare at the computer for two seconds, and shut it.

I have zip, nada, zilch desire to post today.

I'm in the mood to sit by myself in a quiet room and read, read, read, with zero interruptions.

For hours.

Or days:)

So here's what I'm thankful for-

I am thankful for my little blog. I am thankful that I don't have a massive amount of rabid readers who would send me hate mail for not posting on time, especially on a weekly scheduled topic that is expected*. On the flip side, I am thankful for my few faithful IRL (in real life) readers who, though they don't comment here often, will sometimes mention something I wrote here in face to face conversation. That makes me happy and gives me some more motivation to blog.

*or hassle me for dragging my feet on my Do Not Despair posts. I have not forgotten. On the contrary, I really want to finish. I've hit writer's brick wall though, so I don't think now is the proper time...or perhaps I've lost the right spirit for it. Whatever the case, when time or my own perspective or both is right again, I will continue those posts. Promise:)

Thank you, little blog.

Thank you, faithful readers. You rock my world;)

What are you thankful for today?

Embracing my femininity

2012-01-19T16:29:00.005-07:00

I'm taking part in TOFW's shoe party! (and doubling it up for Thankful Thursday...tricksy, tricksy)

And I can't believe I've come this far.

A shoe party.

Me.

I know.

I've been surrounded by men and boys for most of my life.

Growing up there was my dad, my mom, my three brothers, and me.

Now there's even less female influence in the house than I'm used to. There's my husband, my three sons...and me.

Me.

The lone woman in the house.

The only regular example of what women are and should be that my young sons have.

No pressure, Linds.

Growing up in such an environment, I wasn't what you'd call a girly-girl. Sure I've always loved being female and I definitely wouldn't call myself a tomboy. But I wasn't going to go out of my way to do girly things if it made me too different from my brothers.

My poor mother tried to lay that foundation when I was younger, but by the time I hit my teen years I think I had inadvertently taken a sledge hammer to that feminine foundation.

Why do my hair every day before school when I could sleep 20 more minutes and throw it in a ponytail?

Why paint my face with make-up that I'd have to worry if it still looked alright countless times throughout the day?

Why wear bright colors I'd have to wash all the time when blues, greens, etc. all would let me get at least two wears before needing a wash?

Why wear a dress and restrict my movement and comfort when I could wear jeans and be free to run, jump, and slouch on the couch?

Why buy that cute pair of shoes that would go with just a few outfits when I could buy a pair of tennis shoes to wear with everything?

That's where I was for many a year. Enjoying my womanhood, but not taking full advantage of it and thinking myself extremely practical.

One dress, two skirts (denim and khaki), one pair of dress shoes, mascara, eyeliner, a blow-dryer, one hair brush, and a plethora of hair elastics were all I had that showed there was any major difference between me and the rest of the fellas in the house.

These are the kind of shoes I'd dress up in for everyday things, when tennis shoes were just too casual:

Don't laugh. I still like them:)

And then, the changes started to happen a couple years ago.

Maybe it's because I began to subconsciously realized that, like I mentioned earlier, I am the one with biggest influence on how my boys see women. Among other things, I want them to understand that girls like to be pretty and elegant, and that we can also run around and be goofy.

Maybe it's because I have been getting less outside estrogen influence and subconsciously try to give myself my own fix by doing something girly.

Maybe it's because my boys are old enough to not need my c.o.n.s.t.a.n.t. attention and I can indulge in these things.

Maybe it's a combination of all that and more...

It started with a skirt.

Mom gifted me a skirt that flared a bit at the bottom (see? She didn't give up:)) and suddenly I was enjoying twirling on Sundays as much as a five year old girl.

Then, I actually learned how to apply eyeshadow after a Mary Kay party.

The biggest changes have come since last January. And the catalyst- a pair of shoes.

Boots, that is. These boots.
Are they practical? No! Are they hard to walk in? Yes! Do they hurt my feet if I wear them too long? YES! But. I. LOVE. them! I will be very sad when they wear out. I wear them until my feet hurt or I have to be moving around more quickly than they'll let me.

I can't get over the giddyness that I feel when I wear these boots. I feel so feminine when I wear them. I can't describe it better than that. It's a feeling I used to scoff at, but that I've come to love.

This last year I also discovered that my hair will curl and there are lots of ways to make it shiny, smooth, etc.

Now there's a curling iron, flat iron, various hair products, eyeshadows, blushes, lip glosses (I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll ever embrace lipstick;)), etc. to keep my blow dryer company.

My closet contains amounts of skirts, dresses, and pink and purple tops that teenage Lindsey would never have thought possible. I even own a couple pairs of tights now (deep breaths. don't go fainting on me now).

And my go to/everyday shoes?

Yes, folks. There's pink on those shoes.

I don't do myself up every single day. I still enjoy my ponytails and jeans and tshirts. But I find there are many days when I want to wear a dress or a skirt, just because. I like the "alone" time of styling my hair and "painting my face" while my boys make machine gun noises and growl at each other while running between the rooms of the house. And if I can find an excuse to wear a skirt and those boots, I'll take it:)

I like the way I feel so feminine these days.

I am so thankful to be a woman. I am so thankful for the things I've learned about being female in these last few years. Not only for the physical and material aspects of "pretty" that I can indulge in. But for the spiritual aspects as well. I love femininity!

I love being a woman!

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-12T21:40:00.002-07:00

Happy Thursday everyone!

My posts have been way too wordy lately. So here's an easy read for you-

Today I am thankful for my kitchen and refrigerator. A sanitary room, right in the warmth and comfort of my home, where I can put together warm meals for my family in under 30 minutes. No stoking fires or starting dinner immediately upon finishing washing and drying the lunch dishes or trying to keep kids away from hot stoves. I am super grateful for my comfortable, convenient kitchen with an abundance of food and the ability to store it without spoiling quickly.

What are you thankful for today?

A soft rant

2012-01-11T14:43:00.004-07:00

Yes, a rant. Yes, ranting on such things is childish. Yes, I am usually bigger than this.
Yes, I would appreciate it if you gave me a break...I need one every now and again;)

This is a random* post combining annoyances I have on three fronts: the facebook drive-by (e.g. Status-"Just got the best news of my life!!!:):):)<3<3<3" Comment- "Yay!" Comment- That's great! What is it?" Comment- "You deserve good news. Love ya, gurl!" Comment- "Oooo, I wanna know! txt me."), those who dish out advice opposite of what they live, and drama queens.

Funny thing is, if a person frequently does one of these they're 98%** more likely to also be frequent offenders on all three counts.

It is for interactions with these kinds of people that I sometimes wish I had a little pocket book with a page for each offender. On each page I would have written my five favorite direct quotes (with dates and references for context in case of disagreement) from said individual. Then I could use it for my own prideful and impossible purposes of showing them the error of their ways and leading the way back to being people of rational thought and action.

For example. The next time someone tries to pull me into the latest episode of the soap opera that is their life, I can whip out my book, flip to their page, and say-
"Remember when you said back in September, 'Don't bring your drama to me. High school ended years ago and I'm done being around people who bring me down with their immaturity?' That's what I'm thinking right now. Just sos ya know."

Oooorrrrr....next time I see or hear someone say or do something unkind to their significant other or child: Out comes the book, page found, and-
"Remember when you said, 'Cherish the ones you love, you never know when they'll be gone?'"

Putting together and using such a book would probably just get me punched in the face. I know I wouldn't like someone to use my own words like that in my less-than-ideal life situations.

But still...the idea won't die.

Hmm, maybe I should make a book for myself of things I say but don't always live up to...might save me from punching well meaning people in the face:)

*Yes, this post was inspired by a facebook drive-by of wise life-advice posted by a drama queen. All three in one place just screamed, "Rant on blogger- go!"
**Lindsey is in no way responsible for incorrect statistics made up in her mind on the fly based solely upon her personal observations and conversation with like-minded family and friends...even though she's most likely right (ah! there's that pride again...).

Thankful Thursday- Dear Parents,

2012-01-05T10:48:00.004-07:00

Step up.

The line was crossed a LONG time ago.

Before the world succeeds in leading you any further away from it, turn around and RUN back to that line. Don't pause; hurl yourself back across that line for the sake of your children (and by extension- you).

The line I'm talking about? Parent-led vs. child-led.

You know, letting the child tell or show their parents when they're ready for something instead of the parents deciding.

It actually sounds great- no bully parents forcing a child to do something he/she is not ready for.

And I agree. Parents should not be bullies and should not expect more from their children than what they are developmentally ready for.

But part of a parent's job is to determine when their child IS ready. If you follow the child's lead- they don't get what they're ready for or what they need, they get what they want.

For example, a toddler is full of emotion; emotion they don't understand. A parent could follow their child's lead and conclude that when their child screams it's because they're young and coddle them some more.

OR- as the parent they can teach their child not to scream and show by example or explanation (depending on the comprehension level of the child), what is being felt, how to control it, and what the best way to act is in such situations.

Or even simpler, how about this: bedtime.

Nuff said;)

It seems that the much of the growing generation is being raised by child-led parents. The effects are already seen.

Let's compare some examples.

Example 1- I just read a story about a mom and her six year old son. This six year old boy recently told his mom that he wanted to kiss boys. She wrote all about how she wouldn't damage his feelings by telling him that such things were sinful and he would rot in hell if he did. So many gay people are treated that way and they knew how they felt when they were that young. Can we imagine saying such hurtful things to a six year old?!?! Peace, love, tolerance people!...She also mentioned in passing how her son idolize a gay character on the popular show Glee.
..............................To which I say,

Sister. Aside from the fact that you let your six.year.old watch a show chock full of teen sex and all the filthiness and content he is exposed to from that (which he is developmentally NOT able to fully comprehend and understand thereby confusing the cheese and crackers right out of him and screwing up his future relationship potential)- aside from that, think for a minute what you're NOT teaching your son. You're not teaching him right from wrong, you're not teaching him how to think critically and analyze the thoughts that come through his mind, you're not teaching him that he can trust you to lead him down the most successful paths, you're not teaching him boundaries! (And I hope, but doubt, that parents know the value of boundaries...I think I'll post about that sometime, too.)

Example 2- Here I will share a personal example where I admit something and ask that you don't mock or think less of me because of this temptation I deal with.

I am a kleptomaniac. In the loosest sense of the word and only in thought, not in deed. As a child if I saw something I wanted, or that simply could be taken without notice, I would want to take it for my own. BUT, my parents have always taught and set the example that stealing is wrong and I am not to do it. I can honestly only think of one time in my young life where I did actually steal something. And when guilt finally got the best of me and I fessed up to my mom, she didn't shame me or tell me I'd rot in hell for my sin. She reiterated what she and my dad had already taught me and facilitated my return of the object. Plain and simple, yet so effective.

Even now, as I near 30, I still get those thoughts in my head (I could totally take that and not get caught). We're talking as large as grand theft auto here, people; this is not a passing, inconsequential temptation. Eternal thanks goes to my parents, though, because I have a deep-seeded understanding that stealing will not make me happy and it is strong enough to stand against those temptations.

Compare those two. One boy will most likely grow up to be someone who scorns my family and our belief in traditional family, perhaps going so far as to torment my children, spray paint my garage door with hate-speech, or worse. And this girl, once a potential thief, is now a solid community citizen who just wants her family to thrive in her care.

Parents, please step up and lead your children. It does make a difference.

Only part of your job as a parent is to love your child no matter what. The rest is to teach them, prepare them to face the world and come out happy (and by happy I don't mean "having received and experienced only what and everything that they wanted." I mean just that, happy; joyful even!).

Experience is what we have to offer to our children. After all, what- really- is the difference between parents and children? Time. As parents, we got here just a bit earlier than they did. In that time that we've been here we've learned and experienced and can turn around and offer that to our children when they get here.

As an experienced nuclear physicist, would you let a three year old tell you how to do your job? Only if you want to cause a massive, deadly explosion because all those buttons looked so colorful they just had to be pushed. Or perhaps have a fifteen year old girl teach your business college class on conflict resolution? Because getting all your friends to ignore and spread rumors about that colleague who criticized your latest report really is the best way to solve the issue, isn't it?

It doesn't make sense in those situations and it doesn't make sense in parent/child situations. The one with the knowledge and experience does the leading and the teaching, not the other way around.

As parents, we lead, show, tell, and teach our children because we know and understand better than they do.

Yes, take into consideration the child's age and ability to understand. Yes, be kind and gentle instead of forceful and cruel.

You can do that AND lead your children. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I am so thankful for my wonderful parents and for the hard work, sacrifice, blood, sweat, tears, and love they put into setting me firmly on the best path. And I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who blessed me with everything I need to be happy.

What are yoooou thankful for today???

Sincerely,

Lindsey

Thankful Thursday, Slacker week

2011-12-29T17:23:00.003-07:00

The week between Christmas and New Years Day is one of my favorites of the year.

There's minor difficulty associated with this week. The abrupt death of Christmas magic that is suddenly lacking when listening to the music of the season or watching Christmas movies always astounds me. And then there's the struggle to think of all I have accomplished this year and being excited for the new year versus the pull to feel like a continual failure and fear the new year.

But aside from that, this week is great!

Bret calls it National Slacker week. I think that's a brilliant name for it.

There's a leisurely vibe hanging in the air.

No school.

Sleeping in.

The boys are engrossed with new toys and games. And with new toys and games come expanded imaginations and new pretend scenarios. (I could watch these guys pretend and play for hours.)

I barely cook because there's so many leftovers from Christmas that need to be eaten and enjoyed.

I stay up late with my husband eating goodies and watching any Christmas movies we haven't had a chance to watch or taking in a new video one of us received as a gift. (Though I do have to battle some guilt at keeping him up so late when he has to keep a normal work schedule...)

And though the major holiday has passed, there's still the exciting anticipation and preparation for New Years Eve and fun with friends. I'm so excited!!

I LOVE this relaxed week and one last hooplah before getting back to the daily grind.

I'm so thankful to live a life that can include National Slacker Week.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-22T12:31:00.002-07:00

What a lovely time of year this is.

Sun shining on snow.

Beautiful music.

Warm smells in busy kitchens.

Cookies!

Wrapping gifts with fun paper.

Classic, feel-good movies.

Brief reprieves from illness.

Soft blankets and warm houses.

Giddy kiddos.

Songs e-ver-y-where.

Extra gatherings with family and friends.

Reading wonderful stories of Jesus and wonderful Christmases with my family every night before the boys go to bed.

Haltingly plunking out Christmas tunes on the piano, as far as my limited "skillz" will let me.

Walking down the stairs and smelling the Christmas tree.

Lighting up the house and seeing all the lovely lights in the neighborhoods.

Life is good:)

Here's the exciting conclusion to one of my favorite Christmas movies. Skip to about 5 minutes in and then click on "part 11" when this one finishes. Always always makes me smile!

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday coughsundaycough

2011-12-18T13:24:00.002-07:00

After my twinners were removed from my body, due to some complications and such, there was a period of six+ months that sitting down or standing up involved much pain and careful movement.

In the years since, I will regularly think (usually after flopping myself on the couch or jumping out of a chair) how wonderfully blessed I am to have a healthy body.

As I've healed from this latest sickness, I realized that it had been longer and longer between those kinds of thoughts. And I don't recall thinking anything like it since the summer at least.

Perhaps this latest bout, among lessons of patience and faith, was a reminder to be grateful for my health and my family's health.

Swallow.

Did it hurt? No? Then you are one lucky person!

Take a deep breath through your nose.

Possible? Catch the delightful scents of Christmas, to boot? Lucky you!

Did you have the strength to shower AND get dressed today? To make a meal for your family? To stand and walk across the room?

Good health is an amazing blessing!

I am taking great pleasure in swallowing without pain and having the strength and energy to be Mom again. And with antibiotics to kill this sinus infection, soon I will enjoy the smells of Christmas, too.

It's the little things:)

Merry Christmas! Happy late Thankful Thursday!

What are you thankful for today?

"That I can tell you in one word:"

2011-12-13T23:17:00.003-07:00

"Tradition!"

One of the reasons I love Christmastime so much is that it is so full of traditions.

Every year, I can expect the same wonderful things to happen and share in them with those I love.

My favorite traditions all take place on Christmas Eve.

I make reuben loaves to go along with our traditional potato soup for a lovely dinner.

We play games, we chat, we eat way too much good food.

And then before the littlest ones head to bed, the best Christmas stuff happens. The whole motley crew gathers into one room and either Bret or my dad (depending on who we're spending Christmas with) reads the Christmas story from the scriptures. We sing Christmas hymns and carols throughout the reading, too. I love singing together:)

I particularly love doing this with Bret's family. As there are more kids, Bret has devised ways to keep their interest longer. We wrap small gifts and each child gets to unwrap a present and read part of the story to the rest of us. Then Bret finds a story that illustrates in a simple way what Jesus has done for each of us and reads that, too. For example, one year this was the story.

We usually end up singing any and all other Christmas songs we can think of before the youngsters head to bed.

It's a beautiful night! One of my favorites in the entire year.

What is your favorite Christmas tradition?

Perspective

2011-12-12T15:40:00.002-07:00

I'm upset.

Whatever bug it is that we've been stricken with was formulated by Hades himself. There seems to be no end to it's ability to change and torment us.

Perhaps we get sick so often because I refuse to have the patience to be content with it 90% of the time...

Anyway, I am upset.

In going through my blog roll, I saw that Jocelyn is hosting a Christmas-themed Book of Mormon blog hop.

"What a better way to banish my upset-ness (however momentarily;)) than to share one of my favorite scriptures!?!?," thought I.

To start, back story-

Five years previous, the prophet Samuel announces to the people that the Savior of the world will be born in five years in the land of Jerusalem. As a sign, so these people would know that the Son of God had indeed been born on the other side of the world, there would be no darkness for a day a night and a day. The sun would go down and rise, but there would be no darkness.

Many people believed Samuel. Many didn't.

Those who didn't believe mocked those who did. They also had the audacity to say, "If the sign doesn't happen by such-and-such a date, we're going to kill all of you crazy believers."

Needless to say, the believers were getting pretty anxious and scared, but watched and waited faithfully.

Nephi, a prophet and of course a believer, was none to happy to see such evil among his own people (the unbelievers wanting to kill the believers).

So Nephi went out and prayed. He prayed for his people, he prayed for the believers, he prayed ALL day.

And so we come to the end of my ridiculous summary and to my favorite verses-

And it came to pass that he cried mightily unto the Lord all that day; and behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him, saying: Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.
3 Nephi 1:12-13

Makes me cry. Every time.

Can you imagine?

Thousands of years of prophets telling people that Jesus is coming.
Your life and the lives of those you loved being threatened by people who refuse to believe the truth.
Knowing that tomorrow! the Redeemer of all mankind was to be born.

Amazing, amazing, amazing!

I am so grateful for the Book of Mormon and the testimonies of Christ that I read in it. I am so thankful for this touching story of the very first Christmas in the ancient Americas. And I am looking forward to being healthy with my family and enjoying this beautiful, wonderful, happy season of the year together.

Thank you, Jocelyn, for this chance to share:)

And then...

2011-12-11T21:03:00.002-07:00

...the plague fell upon me with a vengeance.

I've spent the last three days ridiculously sick.

Lucky for me, the last two days were the weekend and Bret could take care of all of us.

I'm a bit scared about tomorrow, but I've been told I'll have the strength and patience I need. So at least we know that we'll come out of this alive;)

I wish that made this easier, though. Listening to little ones cough and knowing they're not sleeping comfortably is HARD. Seeing sweet little boys with glassy eyes and high fevers whimper because they feel so miserable and there's nothing I can do to make them better is HARD. Lying awake at night in pain is HARD. Having someone else take care of me AND my responsibilities is HARD. Getting behind on life and missing fun Christmas activities that only come once a year is HARD.

Being sick/taking care of sick kids is HARD!

I'm looking forward to having this plague behind us. Please send all the good health vibes you can spare our way;)

Wishing you all a healthy and happy holiday season!

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-08T20:19:00.002-07:00

All three boys and I spent the entire day on various couches.

After an insanely long night with Al and/or Goose needing me every 20-40 minutes, they thankfully slept until 9:15 this morning.

After that we were all wrapped up in blankets, watching Christmas movies. There was a brief period when we moved to the living room and laid on the couches there while talking about Christmas.

I am definitely sick, but not as bad as the boys seem to be. I have been able to get up and get what they need, lift and carry, cuddle and hold, and take care of little sickies today without feeling too awful myself.

BUT, it turns out that I have been blessed as their mother and caretaker today. Not five minutes after all my boys were sleeping, my body was flooded with aches and pain. It all settled on me so fast and I knew that I had been strengthened long enough to take care of my boys.

I am thankful for tender mercies like this. I am thankful for Christmas movies. I am thankful for young children who feel better just knowing I'm in the same room with them when they don't feel well. I am thankful that the five days without my husband will be over in just a few minutes. I am thankful for my parents who are so amazingly awesome.

And I am thankful for sleeeeeeep.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday. It's official-

2011-12-01T13:51:00.006-07:00

I'm sappy.

There. I said it.

It became quite clear to me just a couple days ago that I have quite high levels of sappiness.

See, there's this song.

It's a Christmas song that I grew up hearing, but didn't truly begin to appreciate until my later teen years.

Once I moved out "on my own," I would look forward to coming home for Christmas and putting that CD into the player and skipping to number three to hear the best version of "Angels We Have Heard on High" e v e r.

Imagine my shock when just a few years ago I could not find the CD in the cupboard and no one seemed to know what I was talking about.

WHY hadn't I taken the time to figure out what CD I was listening to all those years?? My song was gone and I had no idea how to find it because I had no clue who performed it. You'd think in this day and age it'd be super easy to find what I was looking for. Well then, you try to find the right version of such a classic hymn. Needle in the proverbial haystack, indeed.

Recently, I was lamenting to my younger brother (who was on his mission back when I discovered the CD missing so he didn't know my plight) that I missed listening to that song, but I didn't know who played it so I couldn't find it.

He looked at me and said simply, "Is that the one with the french horns at the end?"

*heart.stopped* "Yes...you remember it, too?!"

"Yeah. And I think I have it. Want it?"

"YES!"

On Tuesday, he emailed it to me and I tried not to get my hopes up as I clicked on the link to listen to it. Immediately, I recognized it as my long lost song.

I'd been having a bummer of a day, but in that moment this intense feeling of gratitude flooded over me as I got lost in this beautiful song.

I thought about how lucky I was to live in a time when I could experience such amazing music at the touch of a button. I thought about how much I love good music. I thought about how lucky I was to have a brother who pays attention to the details, loves music, and has built a massive collection of amazing songs including ones we both (unbeknownst to me, aka- the oblivious one) loved in our youth (this is not the first time he's helped me find a song). I thought about how ridiculous I was to be crying because the music was so gorgeous...

The intense feeling peaked, along with the music, and I felt like Heavenly Father was saying, "For you, Lindsey." I forget it easily, but that little moment reminded me that Heavenly Father loves me, that he knows me, that he's mindful of me, and that I am doing the right thing with my life.

And so today, I am thankful for music, for brothers, for technology, and for tender mercies.

What are you thankful for today?

P.S. In case you were wondering, it's "Angels We Have Heard on High" from the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra's Joy to the World album.

Thankful Thursday

2011-11-17T15:37:00.002-07:00

I am riding a gratitude high today. It's amazing what a little bit of service and work can do:)

We busted out of our routine today.

The amount of children six and under doubled in our home today. It was actually super awesome. I had to lend my ear to excited sharing of goings-on more often and the noise level was even higher than normal, but it was so great to watch my boys have a blast with friends.

It's supposed to get stormy tomorrow and the leaves needed to be off the lawn before the snow sets in, so I raked. And raked. And raked today. Very refreshing to be outside with a gaggle of kids, listening to music, and finally looking over a nice clean lawn prepared for the storm.

I had thoughts of doing some school (even with the extras since we're both homeschooling families using the same curriculum), but after co-op this morning I figured that was enough formal education for the day.

Bret got stuck at work and won't be home in time for me to get to my book club meeting, but my mind is so full of things to be grateful for that I hardly mind. Isn't gratitude great?:)

I am thankful for our co-op. To be part of such an amazing group (headed by inspirational, creative, wise, spiritual, kind, and all around fantastic women) is such a blessing in my life.

I am thankful for grocery stores and the ease it is for me to get fresh food.

I am thankful for good friends.

I am thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Plan of Happiness.

I am thankful for my mom and dad. What great examples they are to me.

I am thankful for my amazing extended family. Each member is priceless to me.

I am thankful for a husband who works hard for our family, honors his priesthood, respects motherhood, loves his wife and sons, helps immensely around the house, makes me laugh, and is handsome to boot!

I am thankful for a patient Heavenly Father who keeps loving me and encouraging me even when I run myself into metaphorical brick walls over and over again.

I am thankful for my life and this wonderful time of year.

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

2011-11-10T13:33:00.001-07:00

I am thankful for gratitude. It just makes me smile:)

Here's an oldie, but a goodie!

What are you thankful for today?

The ABC game

2011-11-03T15:47:00.007-06:00

It's Thankful Thursday and by golly, I'm going to do it this week!

My husband and I have been having some hard days lately. Don't worry, we're fine:)

After a long day yesterday, made longer by barely seeing each other until ten pm, we crashed in bed and talked about our lows of late. (I love talking with Bret late at night when everything is quiet and dark.) It was a great talk. We put forth the "so now what...what do we do about this" question and an idea popped into my head. Seemingly trite, but fun so I voiced it.

"Let's think of blessings from A to Z. A- Al. That was easy. You're turn. B. Go."

It took a few letters to sell Bret, but pretty soon we were laughing and helping each other think of blessings to fit each letter or suddenly thinking of something and going back to change a previous answer.

It was much easier to go to sleep after that; feeling much lighter.

Who'da thunk that the ABCs could be so helpful to one's mood? We didn't solve any issues or anything, but we got some happiness back. Try it out!

And so this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for Bret, that we can make even short time together quality time, spiritual promptings, and the ABCs.

What are you thankful for today?

I don't know why I'm so tired...

2011-11-02T09:42:00.003-06:00

You'd think that with these three guys sleeping in my house
that I would be sleeping pretty soundly!

Happy Halloween!

Honestly...I'm glad it's over. Halloween isn't one of my favs. The boys had fun, but I am more than ready to move on to Thanksgiving:)

Welcome, beautiful amazing busy month of November!

Buck the trend

2011-10-28T16:22:00.003-06:00

I got home at 9:30 last night from a business dinner with the hubba-hubba-hubster, took the babysitter home, came back and through the garage door, saw my computer on the desk and realized- "oh, snap! It's Thursday and I didn't write a Thankful Thursday post!"

Seeing the lateness of the hour and thinking of my new-found goal to get to bed at a reasonable hour like the responsible adult I hope to be, I decided I didn't want to blog last night.

Turns out, I don't want to today either.

I'm bucking the trend! Breaking out of the mold! Marching to the beat of my own drum!

Except...

...well, you could argue that it's not a trend...and that the mold is of my own making...so if I'm drumming now, who was drumming before?...

Arguments aside, here we are with no Thankful Thursday post this week.

Apologies all around.

Why don't you share what your thankful for with me instead???:)

4. Work

2011-10-25T10:54:00.005-06:00

Series explanation
1. Repentance
2. Prayer
3. Service

It's been a while, hasn't it. I'm sorry I dropped this ball for a month. I got busy with the Family Celebration and lost momentum on this project. Let's build it back up, eh?:)

WORK.

I don't understand why we shun work so much. I mean, have you ever finished a task and thought, "Sure wish I'd stared at the wall instead of doing that!"????

Work is satisfying. And yet, I think it will always be a struggle for me to forgo extra sleep in the morning or reading a book in favor of working. Wish it wasn't, but it's probably better for me to have to struggle to overcome that tendency.

Back to the issue at hand.

I'm a simple person.

That's simple, not stupid.

I have trouble concentrating on more than one thing at a time. Yet, I can hold my own at multi-tasking because it's fairly easy to move from one thing to the next and back when concentration is an issue. The more simple my surroundings, the easier of a time I have with things. Working forces my mind to be simpler. I have to focus on the task at hand; which makes it much more difficult to delve into depressing patterns of thought. Brilliant solution:)

As President Benson aptly said, "Work is our blessing, not our doom."

Or as President Hinckley's father said, "Forget yourself and go to work."

It really works! ("a-ha, a-ha! Who's next?" Twenty thousand points if you guess the movie correctly.)

It happens every time.

2011-10-24T16:16:00.003-06:00

I walk out of the shop and into the sunlight and it's all I can do to keep my shoulders from drooping.

New glasses.

When it comes to new glasses, I have a hard time not seeing the glass as half empty. Nothing says, "Man, your eyes are awful," like sharp, clear vision.

Don't get me wrong, I am super excited to have these new glasses. I've had the same ones since Jonzy was about six months old. I am very happy to have entered the world of current eye wear. They're cute, they're trendy, and I'm extremely grateful that I have these glasses to help me see.

When I was young and would get new glasses or contacts, I would always be so excited at the new details that I could see. I was always surprised at how much I hadn't realized I wasn't seeing before my newer, stronger prescription. It was fun opening that door, stepping into the sunlight, and seeing the world through new eyes (sunlight makes all the difference:)).

Then I became a teenager and it wasn't so much fun anymore. I realized that every time I went to the optometrist, I needed a stronger prescription. My eyes have been deteriorating for decades now and it's an emotional hurdle for me.

I hate not being able to see. I envy people who can. I hate not being able to read if I'm wearing contacts, so I rarely wear them. I hate that drastic blur around the edges of my glasses. I hate the headaches I get as my brain gets used to a new way of seeing, a new border around the discernible vision, and the muscles of my face adjust to the new accessory. I hate fumbling for my glasses in the dark of night when someone needs me. I hate squinting at the clock to see what time it is when I wake up in the middle of the night.

I hate knowing that I'm making a big deal out of something that is not only inconsequential, but fixable.

I'm not blind. I can see. I can behold the beauty of my surroundings that are the source of tender mercies. Well, not the source, but you know what I mean. I can see color and shape and the sparkle in my boys' eyes. We can afford to get glasses so that I can see these things more clearly. Lots of other people have broken eyes, too, so I don't have to be a social outcast;) And beyond that, I know that my eyes will be perfect one day.

I think I will always fight off some sadness and jealousy when I get a stronger prescription or when I notice the difference between my eyes and someone else's. And I will always wonder if I'm seeing the world differently than someone with normal, healthy, and strong eyes.

But it sure is nice to know that it won't always be like this. Plus, the change wasn't as drastic this time. Turns out, my eyes didn't really weaken any more so much as they changed shaped and gave me some more astigmatism. Maybe a break from the deterioration is on the horizon!

Now, I think I better go get something for this headache;)

P.S. You should hop over to We Talk of Christ, We Rejoice in Christ. There's lots of awesomeness going on with the Book of Mormon Forum this month.

It's the little things

2011-10-20T14:16:00.007-06:00

Today I am thankful for:

how addicting and contagious my boys' laughter is.

the sunshiny day with beautifully cool temps.

hoodies.

comfy couches for a sore back.

easy dinners.

my five senses.

What are you thankful for today??

Sing it, Perry

2011-10-15T10:23:00.000-06:00

"Magic Moments" as sung by Perry Como is one of my favorite happy songs. As inspired by this post, I wrote my own set of lyrics to the classic tune. Check them out at the end of the post.

Motherhood to me is found and defined in the moments.

The moments that keep me going, the moments that make me feel like a mole facing a hammer in that classic arcade game, the moments that give me glimpses of the future, the moments that catapult me into the depths of fear of endless failure, the moments that feel like part of heaven.

Motherhood is moments.

A little hand slipping into mine while we walk from the bedroom to the kitchen, just because he wants to be close to me.

The dinner reaction. From, "Yuck! I hate that, Mom!" to "We're having THAT for dinner?! I LOVE you, Mom!"

Realizing that my but-he's-only-six! year old is already wanting to not be around me and that moment of euphoria when I realize all is not lost and I still have some time as he's skipping next to me because we're off to do something, just the two of us, and he's so happy about it.

Moments between a whiny "whyyyyyyyyyy?" and my response.

Big smiles and bright eyes.

Painful kisses. Who knew a three year old roughly grabbing my head and turning it to an uncomfortable angle so he could plant a soft one on my cheek could be so awesome?

"I luhz oo, Mom"s.

Smells. The you-need-a-bath! smells, the I-don't-even-want-to-know-what's-causing-that-smell-but-have-to-hunt-it-down-to-stop-it-in-case-it's-an-environmental-hazard smells, the hugging-a-clean-boy-in-freshly-laundered-clothes smells, the you-just-brought-me-a-dandelion-and-a-huuuuge-smile smells, etc. etc.

Embarrassing, "yes...that's my child" moments and proud "That's my boy!" moments.

Oodles and buckets and floods of witnessing firsts.

Motherhood moments keep me on my toes and I love them. All of them. They're getting me closer to the end goal of eternal life. Even the moment when Al comes down the stairs to me instead of the ten steps from his room to the bathroom resulting in him throwing up on the stairs. Cleaning up more vomit must surely increase my endure to the end levels and getting me that much closer to the pearly gates;) And the kicker in that moment: though we're constantly coaching the kids to run to the bathroom if they feel they're going to lose it, his innate reaction to seek out Mom for comfort and help when something goes awry superseded all else. That's love:)

That's motherhood. And I love it!

This post is part of MamaBlogga's October Group Writing Project, Motherhood to me...Join us!

P.S. Have you had any moments you'd like to share?

Mommy Moments

Mommy moments, when two boys are sharin'
Mommy moments, mem'ries of tempers flaring.

I'll never forget the moment he shoved that girl on
the hay ride
The way that her mom muttered an’ glared while I tried to
hide my pride

CHORUS

Mommy moments, mem'ries we’ve been sharin’
Mommy moments, when brothers are caring
I can't erase the sharpie marks
These mommy moments are filled with love

The sleep that I’ve lost with you throwing up for hours
and hours
The smile on your sweet little face when you
pick me flowers

CHORUS

(The way that we cheered whenever you made it
on time to the bathroom)
The time that you plugged the sink and it rained
all over the family room.
(The endless band-aids, the games that we played, the fun
and surprises)
A life that is full of trying to cope with whatever
arises

Mommy moments filled with love

[Clarification: the little girl initiated the shoving and Jonzy wasn't going to put up with it. And yes, it really did rain in our family room.]

Thankful it's Thursday

2011-10-13T13:41:00.005-06:00

What a week!

I was super blessed to fly into Denver last weekend and attend the Time Out for Women event there. I met up with two of my most favorite aunts and we went together. It was amazing:) If Time Out comes to a city near you, GO! Two days of awesomeness, girl time, books, music, a totally cute free bag, all at a super low price?!? GO:)

I loved Kelly Ogden's debut TOFW presentation so much that I bought his book!

Since getting back, the boys and I are not quite seeing eye to eye. Mostly, it's my fault for my lack of patience. But they've also been off the wall hyper (despite the treats ban that's being enforced this week). It's been a hard week for all of us. I have much to be thankful for today!

One being, that this is our week off of co-op between sessions. I don't think I could have handled it today.

Book club is tonight. Woot woot!:)

The weekend is nearly upon us.

Tomorrow we're going on another fall field trip.

Al woke me up just before five this morning and I felt awful. I've been battling a cold and it was definitely winning at five am. I turned off my alarm and slept in and felt so much better getting up. First time in a long time that a few hours of sleep has actually had its intended result:)

I ate dinner from Five Guys last night. Best burgers ever. My taste buds are still happy.

I'm called Mommy by three amazing boys:)

What are you thankful for today?

What's not to love?

2011-10-06T13:24:00.004-06:00

The temperature has taken a dramatic dive in the last two days.

Some locals are already complaining about skipping autumn and getting dumped into winter.

I say, "What's not to love about this weather???"

Out come the long sleeves and hoodies. Chilis, soups, and comfort foods. Laughing with your boys as you breathe visible air. That feeling of breathing in cold air through your nose. Umbrellas. Boots. Yellows, oranges, reds, and browns every where. And two words: crunchy. leaves. :)

I LOVE this weather!

But...as I drove on the freeway through the rain this morning, I was beginning to not like this weather so much. My tires couldn't keep their traction. We weren't sliding anywhere, but the car was jerking along as we would continually lose traction and (oh-so-thankfully!) regain it. The windshield wipers were going. Many a car around me seemed to have forgotten their headlights and I kept getting surprised at cars in blind spots or behind me that crept up through the rain without warning. Just as I was getting ready to curse the weather, I looked in the baby-view mirror (yes, I still have it even though I have no babies. I've gotten used to seeing my kids in it and I don't like not having it.) beneath our rearview mirror. The sight was wonderful and right then, there was a moment...

Goose, bundled up in a cute little hoodie, was hugging a white and blue plush cow. His mouth was slightly open and in an unconscious half smile. His eyes were so bright with wonder, awe, and happiness. There he was, cozy and warm in the car with his cow and completely enthralled with the sight of the rain and wipers going on the windshield.

I love moments like that. And I love that my boys and I can help each other in our love of the seasons (or anything). I can help them discover and nurture that love and they remind me often of the simpler things and the bigger picture and why I loved them in the first place.

I love autumn! I am so thankful for it and this chilly change:)

What are you thankful for today?

I should be sleeping...

2011-10-02T23:22:00.003-06:00

...but if I don't do this now, then I don't think it will get done and I really want to do it:)

Here's a General Conference dealio from Diapers and Divinity.

Oh how I loved GC this October. I always love it, but the boys did so much better at not being crazy loud this time so Bret and I could catch a lot more. Very enjoyable:)

Here's the scoop, according to Lindsey:

General Conference Highlights, October 2011

1. Who were your three favorite speakers?

Just three?! Then I'm going to go with Elder Scott, Elder Ardern, and President Monson...and Elder Bennett...and Elder Curtis...and Sister Dalton...and President Uchtdorf...I can't pick three!

2. Which talk spoke to you the most?

Definitely Elder Ardern's.

3. What was your favorite Hymn and why did it move you?

Praise to the Man. Because I always love that one, singing with thousands of people always gets me, and I was on a spiritual high from Elder Ardern's talk.

4. Which speaker was the best dressed? (Come on, we can have a little fun.)

I forgot to pay attention to this...so I have no idea. I really liked Sis. Dalton's hair...

5. Were there any topics that you felt like were repeated often? Any conference “themes”?

Scriptures and repentance seemed to be hit on lots.

6. Share a few of your favorite quotes from any of the talks (paraphrasing is fine).

I'll definitely paraphrase (i.e. misquote with a general gist).

"Compared to God, man is nothing. And yet we are everything to God." -President Uchtdorf

"Poor use of time is a cousin of idleness." -Elder Ardern

"Motherhood is what God gave you time for." Elder Anderson

"Our code of conduct is definitive. It is not negotiable." -Pres. Monson

"In a world where everything is changing, His constancy is something on which we can rely." - Pres. Monson

"I know you can do this." Elder Richardson

"You can learn the language of the Spirit." -Elder Cornish

"The Atonement covers all the unfairness of life." -Elder Cook

"I love you. I pray for you. I ask you to remember me in your prayers." -Pres. Monson

7. Name something(s) that made you smile or laugh during conference.

The way everyone gasped (including me!) when the second Provo Temple was announced.

8. Was there any evidence that your children paid attention?

A bit and with prompting. They'd recognize some faces and give some simple topic answers like "scriptures" and "Jesus."

9. What doctrine did you learn as you listened to the choir(s) sing?

A reaffirmation. And timely, too. Every so often I get so bogged down with sadness knowing that there are innocent little children suffering horrible things all over the world, many at the hands of those who are supposed to be their protectors. I can hardly bear to think about them. It hurts so much that I pour my heart out to Heavenly Father to be with them and to help me not think about it so I can function. The choir sang this verse in "Consider the Lilies."

Consider the sweet tender children who must suffer on this earth. The pains of all of them he carried from the day of his birth.

It spoke tons of peace to me. He's got them covered:)

10. Did the music enhance your General Conference experience? How?

It always does. Music and I are tight. Music speaks to me on a much deeper spiritual level than anything else.

11. What are some of your post-conference goals?

The only one I really want to share now is to not slip back into normal habits only to kick myself for not progressing as much as I wanted to when Conference rolls around again in April. I don't want to forget. I want to progress and meet the goals I've set.

I made so many notes on things to look up and talks to re-read so I can get things that I couldn't write down fast enough. What a glorious blessing General Conference is!

Those are my highlights. Will you share yours, too?

Sometimes I wonder...

2011-09-29T16:56:00.003-06:00

I have two sick three year olds.

These poor little boys just don't understand the whole "sick thing."

They want so badly to play. But five minutes after getting off the couch they're coming to me coughing and crying, "My body hurts!"

Over and over and over again I have to tell them that they are sick, that their bodies need rest to get healthy again, and that they will continue to hurt until they listen to me and stay on the couch to get said rest (in much simpler words, of course).

It's times like this that make me see just how parallel the lives of earthly parents are to Heavenly Father's. And I wonder if he ever gets exasperated listening to all the "but whyyyyyyys?" and "I don't want to's" that we say just because we can't comprehend beyond a basic-instant-gratification-level what he's told us.

I'm sure he doesn't, but I sure do sometimes.

These lines of thought always make me more grateful for his patience with me and help me remember to be more patient with my boys.

Have you ever wondered anything like that?

Thankful Thursday

2011-09-29T15:18:00.004-06:00

Thursdays are just coming around too fast these days!

I beginning to fear that by the time I reach the later years of my life that time will fly by at break-neck speed.

Anyway, what am I thankful for today?

Friends.
Family.
The General Relief Society broadcast. (Dear President Uchtdorf, Can I please interrupt your busy day for the sole purpose of giving you a hug? Gratefully, Lindsey)
Modern medicine.
Sleep (I'd really like some right now).
That General Conference is a mere TWO days away:)
My new, beautiful, amazing, entire wall covering bookshelves.

What are you thankful for today?

Winnawinnawinna!

2011-09-23T09:21:00.002-06:00

Using the true random number generator at random.org (I have no idea how to paste the little box here to prove it so you'll just have to trust me) the winner of the countdown blocks IS...

Comment #5 - Jen!

Thank you to everyone who entered.

And a super HUGE thanks to everyone who participated in the Family Celebration!!! It's been wonderfully inspiring.

Jen, we'll be in touch:)

Thankful Thursday

2011-09-22T13:35:00.006-06:00

It's time for a big dose of gratitude. In other words, it's time for a long post;)

I am thankful for The Family: A Proclamation to the World.

I wish I could say I remember how I felt when I first heard President Hinckley read it at General Conference. But I can't. I was an eleven year old from a happy home who had no real understanding of the bad in the world. I must have felt something, though, because I have a clear memory in my mind of President Hinckley on the big projection screen, getting ready to read it to us by telling us he'd read it first at the General RS meeting the week before.

Now that I am no longer a blissfully unaware child, but a wary mother of three innocent boys, I cling to the Family Proclamation. I first came to really appreciate it in college when we studied it for a class. It would later be referenced in many of my classes, but this was my first opportunity to really dive into it.

What a beautiful, straight forward, truthful, inspiring document!

Reading it makes me want to shout its truths from my front porch. (Very like the feeling I get when I read, Stand for the Family, by Sharon Slater: an amazing book with simple and clear (and secular, for all those who disregard what God says as religious mumbo-jumbo) answers to attacks on the family unit.)

These particular sentences from the Proclamation have been a joy in my life lately: "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny."

I was in the capitol last week, driving downtown and surrounded by pedestrians. I stopped at a crosswalk and while waiting for the light to turn green I started to look at everyone walking around me. Oddly enough, what popped into my head was a Primary song.

"I am a Child of God" started playing in my mind.

It was such a beautiful moment. I got all teary eyed with this song going through my head and watching all these fellow children of God crossing the street, filling the sidewalks, getting on and off the train, driving on the streets with me.

It's beautiful moments like that, and truths (like those found in the scriptures and the Proclamation), and meeting other people who are refusing to believe Satan's lies and fighting for the family (like all the wonderful Family Celebration people!), that give me hope for my children's futures and remind me that I'm on the right side.

I get easily discouraged, seeing all the filth and lies in the world. The Family Proclamation helps to keep my spirits up and my faith strong. I am eternally grateful to have it.

What are you thankful for today?

P.S. I'll announce the winner of the countdown blocks giveaway tomorrow morning. Last chance to enter tonight!

P.P.S. And I recommend singing "I am a Child of God" when surrounded by people. It's very uplifting:)

Just go with it

2011-09-19T19:29:00.003-06:00

I have a six year old who desperately wants me to teach him how to play "Sorry!" the board game.

He sees the side of the box up on the top shelf in our pantry. It says "Ages 6+." Ever since he turned six, he looks through our games seeking new opportunities to play.

This morning, he stood in front of the open pantry and stared up longingly at the games.

Without taking his eyes off the box he asked imploringly, "Mommy, will you please teach me to play Sorry! for family home evening?"

Well, okay then.

So we're playing Sorry! for FHE tonight. And the perfect lesson to go along with it?

Why forgiveness, of course!:)

Which happens to be item #4 in the most quoted sentence in the Family Proclamation.

And we're off!

Don't forget to enter the countdown blocks giveaway! I'm closing it on Thursday.

Happy Family Night to all!

Thought provoking

2011-09-18T14:52:00.002-06:00

I read this in a post for the Family Celebration.

"President Hinckley referred to women as our Heavenly Father’s “final creation, the grand summation of all.” In fact, did you know that a woman is a walking, talking, moving symbol of Christ? She is one that can give life through her own blood, just like Christ does. Is it any wonder that Satan seeks to demean and disgrace women through immodesty and pornography? By degrading women he can degrade the Savior because they are symbols of Christ."

Hmmmmm.....

One, I'd never thought of it like that.

Two, I LIKE that!

Three, that punk Satan.

Four, I love being a woman. Especially a woman raising boys.

That's all:)

Birthdays are for celebrating (and a giveaway, too!)

2011-09-15T08:20:00.000-06:00

I love birthdays.

But I really don't do a whole lot for them. We are a low-key birthday family.

Over the last year or so, I've begun to wonder if I should to ramp things up a bit. We've made some changes and they've all been great. But I think we need to keep going. After all birthdays are meant to be celebrated!

Think of what they signify:

The day someone awesome came into the world and we get to know and love them.

and/or

The fact that they managed to survive another year (thank you, angels, for saving my boys from all those close calls).

and/or

The accomplishments of the last year.

and most importantly:

The choice each of us made to come to Earth.

That is a huge one.

The decision to follow God's plan and receive a body is monumental. A birthday marks an eternal choice.

I love this sentence in the Family Proclamation (really, I love the whole thing):

"In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life."

Birthdays are meant to be celebrated!

And I got some inspiration recently on how to celebrate more in our family.

I was asked to make a display for our up-coming Relief Society Super Saturday. I ordered the kit I was told to order and got crafting. And the result was these super cute Thanksgiving countdown blocks:

Aren't they lovely?:)

When they were done I randomly thought, "I need to make a birthday countdown."

And then I thought, "What a brilliant idea!":) The boys constantly ask me how long it is until their birthdays. With a birthday countdown they can see how long is left and the anticipation will build and build and build until the awesome day arrives. They will love this! (and so will I...I like my birthday, too;) I'm not so sure about Bret. He's not big on his birthday and eight+ years together later...I still can't tell if he's being honest or he just doesn't want anyone to go to any trouble. But that's another story!)

I don't plan to have it out all year long; just two or three weeks before each birthday. But I'm so excited for Al's and Goose's birthday to get close enough to introduce the idea to them.

And because I love you all, I'm giving you the chance to win a countdown blocks kit for your very own. They come from the amazing Poppy Seed Projects store and they're so easy to make (if I can do it, anyone can)!

Here's what the kit looks like.

I painted mine blue.

Then I cut up my paper. (I loooove my paper cutter!)

Then I mod podged the paper on each side.
(can I make mod podge a verb?...Everybody else is doing it;))

I love Mod Podge.

Then came the vinyl. And look how cute!-

A birthday countdown to ramp up the anticipation for the day we celebrate people joining our family and the fantastic decision they made to get here.

(except I just realized right now, putting these pictures up, that I had wanted the paper under the word "countdown" to have the stripes horizontal...somehow, even after carefully measuring and cutting and gluing, I managed to not see that I didn't cut the paper the right way. Oy.)

Poppy Seed Projects is graciously giving a set of countdown blocks to one of you lucky readers!

If you live in the continental United States, you can enter to win your very own kit and personalize it how ever you want. Make a countdown for Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, BIRTHDAYS:), summer vacation. The possibilities are endless!

I want to make more.
Seriously, I love these. It's almost unhealthy.

All you have to do to enter this giveaway is leave me a comment on this post.

Make me laugh and maybe you'll get an extra entry.

Remember, this giveaway is only open to those in the lower 48 (I'm very sorry if that excludes you. I'd still love to hear from you!). Please leave me a way to contact you in your comment, should you be the winner.

And make sure you check out all the other awesome photo essays in the Family Celebration today.

AND head on over to Poppy Seed to see what other awesome stuff they have for you. I love this store so much because they give you the kit and instructions and then you can create it yourself. The projects make me feel so creative and giddy even. I LOVE making things for my home.

My favorites are the FHE magnet board, the picture blocks, the Temple memory game, and of course the countdown blocks. (I'd add pictures, but blogger is freakin' out on me!)

Thank you for celebrating family with me!

There was a moment...

2011-09-12T20:44:00.004-06:00

Tonight, as part of our Family Home Evening, Bret gave all the boys a father's blessing.

It's a beginning of the school year tradition.

I love it.

The boys don't quite understand it yet, but they're more reverent than usual when we do it.

I get to get in on the blessings, too. I may love that even more. I really need the reminders, counsel, and encouragement that come in them.

The moment came when I watched Al climb up into the chair for his turn getting a blessing. He climbed up and folded his arms and gave me a little smirk. As Bret (looking ever so dashing in his slacks, shirt, and red "power" tie) placed his hands on Al's head the picture just looked so right and I felt so wonderful.

I love my husband and that he remains worthy to hold the priesthood and bless our family.

I love my boys and that I can be home with them.

I love my family.

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I love the moments:)

Have you had any moments you'd like to share?

Family Mission Statement

2011-09-12T09:08:00.004-06:00

Last year I went to Time Out for Women. One of the many things I took away from the experience was the desire to create a family mission statement for our family.

I wrote up a whole slew of ideas and found that the ones I gravitated to were from the scriptures. Man, there's good stuff in there!;)

I never set aside time to talk with Bret about it and for months my notebook of ideas was forgotten.

And then I saw that part of the Family Celebration this year would be about family mission statements.

Oh, snap! Where did I put that notebook???

When I finally found it I got lost in it for a while. (Wow! What good ideas I had. Why'd I forget this?)

We still haven't set things in stone (or even paper), but here's the general idea for our work in progress:

A short, quickly to the point, easy to memorize, inspiring scripture to start us off. Here's a list of those currently at the top of the list-

1 Corinthians 14:26 Let all things be done unto edifying.
1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold of eternal life.
James 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only.
Romans 2:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God.

Or, we could go with something a little longer, like Doctrine and Covenants 4:5 and/or 6 or 1 Cor. 13:13 or the thirteenth Article of Faith. Or not do a scripture and have something like "Family founded upon Jesus Christ" (sound familiar?:)).

Then (with the great hopes that I can create on paper the eye catching design in my brain...) using the letters in our family name we will list attributes we want to cultivate, one attribute per letter. I went through the Topical Guide and wrote down words that can be defined as family attributes. For example, with the letter "e" I wrote down- earnest, edify, educate, embrace, endure, engage, enjoy, enlighten, enthusiasm, equal, eternal, excel/excellence. It's going to be hard to choose which one to settle on!

When all is said and done we will have an inspiring family mission statement to motivate us and refer back to when life gets thrown in our faces.

I'm excited!

To read about other ways and why to's of creating family mission statements click that pretty button on my sidebar and join in celebrating the FAMILY with us:)

3. Service

2011-09-09T15:50:00.001-06:00

What I'm doing
1. Repentance
2. Prayer

I love the third item that President Benson focuses on in this article. It's huge. Life changing even.

"To lose yourself in righteous service to others can lift your sights and get your mind off personal problems, or at least put them in proper focus."

Perspective is huge when it comes to depression, but it requires something deeper than just knowing there are so many things great in life/others are suffering tremendously/a more eternal view, etc. Knowing and feeling are two very different things. And it seems it requires faith to get to work serving before those deep feelings of truth are realized and spirits are lifted; at least in my case.

Giving of oneself to service and sacrificing one's desires or needs for someone else's is a prime way to lift the spirit. Though it seems to be precisely opposite of what we hear from the world.

"Take care of you first or you won't have any to give anyone else."
"You have to put yourself at the top of your priority list."
"You can't draw water from an empty well."

Logically, that makes complete sense. If I don't take care of my needs or satisfy even small desires where would I find the strength to keep working?

But spiritually, it doesn't work that way. I do need to care for myself and make sure there's "water in the well" so I can be what my family needs me to be. But that's not supposed to be first on the priority list. We are happiest, we are most at peace, we are most fulfilled, we are most complete- when we forget about ourselves and serve others.

I've written about this phenomenon before. Concentrating on how it pertains to motherhood.

I'm going to be filled with more joy even if I haven't been able to shower yet, or eat breakfast yet, or get out to dinner with some girlfriends in months, or have had any time alone in two weeks because I am (trying to the best of my ability) focusing on something outside of myself.

Something bigger than I am.

Taking the focus off of ourselves is so freeing, so uplifting. It helps me feel that I am part of something beautiful. That I do have the capability to submit my will to my Father's. That I can be an instrument in his hands.

And a sweet perk: I end up being take care of any way! Whether by finding time to do something me oriented, or my husband doing something for me, or Heavenly Father sustaining me, etc. And never underestimate the power of an "I luhz oo" from a little mouth. A beautiful aspect of families. If we're all focused on serving each other, everyone gets taken care of! (more on that in a couple weeks:))

President Benson says it best: "A woman whose life is involved in the righteous rearing of her children has a better chance of keeping up her spirits than the woman whose total concern is centered in her own personal problems."

Has service helped lift you? Will you share with me?

Thankful Thursday, Cranky Edition

2011-09-08T15:38:00.003-06:00

I am in a foul/accepting mood.

It's an odd combination.

On the one hand, I have the less-than-desirable things going on in my life- poor health (double ear infection+ UTI+ possible sinus infection+antibiotics that are just beginning to work on day four=extremely uncomfortable, fighting the urge to scream (UTI anyone;)) Lindsey with a constant pounding headache.), twins taking turns waking up at night for the last two or three weeks (tirrrrrrred Lindsey), boys being cah-razy boys (embarrassed, please-tell-me-the-neighbors-did-NOT-see-that Lindsey), can't get a handle on my responsibilities (failure Lindsey), Bret won't be able to help me for a few days (end of rope Lindsey), need to have the house beyond presentable for the Relief Society meeting committee gathering at my house tonight so we can mess it up again prepping our Super Saturday displays (are you crazy, Lindsey?!?)...

On the other hand, I have- what can I do about it?

-I'm taking antibiotics. And they are beginning to work. Patience...Endurance...I'm trying.
-Al and Goose both stayed in their beds the entire night last night!! (Can you say, "tender mercy?" Boy I sure can:)) Maybe the stage is over and I won't have to do anything about it, but I do have one idea that came to me yesterday so I'm not at a total loss if they start up again.
-There's not much I can do but blush, pull a few handfuls of hair out, and try to explain some things to the boys...again.
-Keep trying
-"Mom up" and do a happy dance when Bret is able to help again.
-Clean up as best I can and be happy I can be the woman who makes the other women who come to my house tonight feel good about their houses;)

So I'm cranky, cranky, cranky! But I feel somewhat accepting of it all. 'Cha. Weird.

And what I'm thankful for today?

Antibiotics. Ibuprofen. Dishwashers. Ready mops. Vacuums. Gorgeous weather for the boys to play in and me to open the windows for a good airing out. Blogging. Frozen pizza (hooray easy dinner!). The sound of the leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. That my life is a full one (even if it gets too hectic at times); I'd be a lonely one indeed if I didn't have such a full life.

What are you thankful for today?

Hooray!

2011-09-06T10:31:00.003-06:00

It's that time of year again!

I'm going to be throwing myself into the mix of the brouhaha for the family in the next two weeks.

Some amazing women have put together another amazing celebration this year and I'm excited to see what is coming.

Wonderful words of wisdom, insight, fantastic ideas of things to do with my family, giveaways, "meeting" new people, etc, etc, etc.

Will you join in the party?

Just click on the button at the top of my sidebar for more info. Or go HERE.

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:)

The good, the sad, and the ugly

2011-09-01T17:14:00.003-06:00

The Good-
A morning spent at the first co-op meeting of the year. A great group of kids and a wonderful bunch of moms. I'm excited for this year:)

The Sad-
My Aunt Carole passed away five years ago today. We miss her.
I've got a head cold that is getting worse and worse and leaves me longing for alone time with a girl movie in my bed. But my name is Mom, so no can do. And there was only one dose of Dayquil left.
I went to the dentist this afternoon for my first cleaning in many years: swollen sinuses + hands and sharp tools all up in my mouth = mucho discomfort...o.

The Ugly-
I keep hearing this Pink song on the radio. Since a couple of her songs have had funny videos I decided to see if there was a video for this new song. BAD. IDEA. The first two seconds of the video had me yelling at my computer and frantically trying to make it stop. Disgustingly inappropriate. Great. Now I can't listen to Pink anymore, either.

What am I thankful for?
That we have such great co-op that my family can be a part of.
That I have great Aunt Carole memories.
That I have faith in God's plan.
That Dayquil exists and can take the edge off.
That the amount of work needing to be done on my teeth is minimal. Especially since it's been six years since my last visit to the dentist!
That there is still so much GOOD music that I CAN listen to and keep the atmosphere a welcoming place for the Holy Ghost.

2. Prayer

2011-08-30T16:45:00.004-06:00

Here we are with item #2 from Do Not Despair.

Catch up if you need to:
The beginning
1. Repentance

The second item President Benson discusses in his article is prayer. How fundamentally, monumentally, drastically vital it is in combating depression!

There's a hitch, though. Many people (me included) feel like their minds have been swapped for spaghetti when depression strikes.

I remember way back when I was pregnant with the twins and realizing how deep and dark of a pit I was in. As two year old Jonzy napped, I shut myself in my room with my scriptures; hoping to drive away the darkness with some spiritual light. Only I couldn't read. I'd stare at the same sentence and try and try and try to read it, but three or four words in my mind would jump to something else, then something else, then something else. I wish I could describe it better than that.

I sat on my bed and stared at my open scriptures, so insanely confused at why I could no longer read. So I decided to pray.

I lumbered the three of us off the bed and onto the floor. But I couldn't pray either! Every thought was suffocated in an Olympic sized pool of other random thoughts; none of them able to complete before being interrupted by another. I'd been struggling with jumbled prayers for a while, but it didn't hit me until right then that I'd lost my ability to pray.

*I never thought to pray out loud. That probably would have really helped me at least complete a sentence, if not an entire prayer.*

I knelt there by my bed and tried to deal with the shock. Why, when I had this problem I knew could be helped, were two of the main sources of help blocked from me???? I argued with Heavenly Father for a long time about that one and honestly I still don't understand it. "That's not fair!" I told him. "I NEED those! Please please please give them back."

Fortunately, I found I could still pray if I kept my thoughts super short. So my prayers became a jumbled mess of random thoughts interspersed by as many, "please help me's" and help me's" as I could stick in there.

I found that the more often I prayed, the more breaks from the dark I got. I love what President Benson said: "...prayer—persistent prayer—can put us in touch with God, our greatest source of comfort and counsel."

Persistent prayer!

The more I filled my days with my simple plea of "help me, help me, help me..." the more I would get that answer he always gave me: "It'll be okay, Lindsey. Remember, I love you." And just knowing he loved me would give what I needed to go on.

After some years passed and I learned more about depression and my experience with it, I have been able to get into the scriptures more and prayer more deeply about it. It's been such a light.

The more I study the scriptures and pray for protection and help, acknowledging that this is a temptation for me and I really really need help, the better I feel.

I'd like to share two of the scriptures I found in my studies of prayer that have really helped me this last year.

"Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always lest ye enter into temptation; for Satan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat. Therefore ye must always pray unto the Father in my name; And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be give unto you."
3 Nephi 18: 18-20, emphasis added

"Yea, and I also exhort you, my brethren, that ye be watchful unto prayer continually, that ye may not be led away by the temptations of the devil, that he may not overpower you, that ye may not become his subjects at the last day; for behold, he rewardeth you no good thing."
Alma 34:39, emphasis added

I love them both. The first gives me hope. The second warns and reminds me that following the temptations "rewardeth [me] no good thing."

That's all I have to say about that.

I hope these posts are inspiring, enlightening, encouraging, etc. If you have thoughts to share, feedback, or whatnot please do:)

I feel better about myself.

2011-08-29T14:44:00.002-06:00

So last week I posted about an incident I had with the radio.

I was slightly disturbed. One- because I didn't recognize that voice that usually makes my skin crawl. And two- because I'd started to like the song.

Imagine my surprise and happiness then when my brother informed me that I misheard the radio. It wasn't Katy Perry. It was Christina Perri!!

Yay!

Most of my faith in myself has been restored. I have no idea who this Christina Perri is, but I know I like at least two of her songs now so I probably better figure it out before I get in too deep; just in case this isn't something I should be listening to.

I tell ya, it's so sad that we can't trust music anymore. Not just because of the lyrics, but because of the artists, too.

Oy.

Thankful Thursday

2011-08-25T17:33:00.002-06:00

Air Conditioning.

Need I say more?

On a hot summer day when I can only stand to be outside for two minutes at a time?

...Nope.

Ahhhhhhh. Air conditioning.

What are you thankful for today?

1. Repentance

2011-08-24T13:34:00.001-06:00

I'm finally starting the in depth look at the Do Not Despair article! *yaaaaaaaaay!*

**Disclaimer: These posts are in no way claiming that my experiences are the only way these things happen, that my choices are the only correct ones to make, or that I think myself better than anyone who experienced otherwise or chose differently. These are my experiences (though not the complete story; I fully intend on going to my grave being the only one who knows the complete story. Unless of course sharing some things would help someone I know...so maybe a few more will know before I die.). These are my choices and decisions. This is my story and what is working for me. I do believe it could help others though, so I'm sharing and discussing. Please don't judge me harshly if you disagree with me. Many thanks:)**

President Benson wrote this article back in 1986. What he wrote was true then and even more so now. Particularly this:

"Satan is increasingly striving to overcome the Saints with despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression."

Jerk.

But!!- "To help us from being overcome by the devil’s designs of despair, discouragement, depression, and despondency, the Lord has provided at least a dozen ways which, if followed, will lift our spirits and send us on our way rejoicing."

Whew.

Those of you who have been reading for a while know that I believe depression is rooted in temptation.

So let's get into the first thing Pres. Benson mentioned. Repentance.

***I started writing this three days ago and hit a road block (or better said, writer's block) right here when I was going to start writing about my own experience with this aspect on the road to rejoicing. My mind reverted back to a jumble of disconnected thoughts and I couldn't think of how best to write it out.

I've decided that my experiences with repentance and depression are just too close to the heart to share with the world at large (however small my readership may be).

So I'm going to continue to keep it close and just share some thoughts and scriptures with you on this subject.

First, I love how President Benson included a quote from Abraham Lincoln.

"When I do good I feel good, and when I do bad I feel bad."

Lincoln is often quoted on depression, and regularly in a tone that seems to say "it is how it is, so stop telling me to just be happy, punks." My opinion is that Lincoln had a much harder life than the majority of us, but he still managed to see that he was responsible for his emotions and he would employ whatever degree of power he had in improving them. What an example! I like that guy:)

And to conclude, here's a couple scriptures that have been especially insightful and poignant for me when studying about repentance:

"Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ." Alma 37:33

"And after their temptations and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them." Doctrine and Covenants 112:13

Thoughts?

P.S. The font was reverting to italics when I didn't want it to and nothing would fix it. So i got into the html code and after a few tweaks, I managed to fix it. I feel so smart!:)

Curses.

2011-08-23T15:14:00.002-06:00

I make no secret of the fact that I wish Katy Perry's music didn't exist, along with her music videos.

My disdain is quite strong.

We'll leave it at that.

Bret will attest to my uncanny ability to spot a Katy Perry song on the radio and lightening quick reflexes when it comes to then changing the station.

So imagine my reaction when after listening to a song in it's entirety and beginning to think, "this is an okay song. might even like it..." the automated announcer woman's voice comes on to announce that the last song was "arms- Katy Perry."

"What!?!"

Darn it! One more song I have to avoid.

There seem to be more and more of those these days. Grrrr.>:(

I'd be more mad, but I have to laugh at myself every time I remember yelling "what!?!" right there in the car.

At the radio.

That can't hear me:)

Thankful Thursday

2011-08-18T22:47:00.002-06:00

Today I am thankful for-

Fresh fruit.

A handy dandy, compact and snazzy dehydrator.

Sharp knives.

Electricity to make the machine work.

Indoor plumbing to keep my hands from getting sticky.

And the amazing aroma of peaches that has permeated my home while they dry out in the dehydrator to become a delicious winter snack (who am I kinding? they won't last through the fall).

*big lungful of peach scented air* Ahhhhhhhhh.

Happy Thursday!

What are you thankful for today?

A new project

2011-08-15T18:14:00.004-06:00

I'm sure you've missed me...;)

I've been busy, busy, busy! (I know, I know; aren't we all?) I was busy with life, family, and getting ready for an out of state trip last week. Things I've wanted to blog about, and Thankful Thursday, got pushed to the bottom of the priority list.

There's two things I really want to blog about. But starting school this week and the craziness of life weighing me down, I'm reduced to mentioning them.

Last week my parents, my brothers, my sisters in law, Bret, and me were all in the temple together. My whole nuclear family. In the temple. Together. For the first time ever. But definitely not the last:) It was so amazing.

Best. Night. Ever.

The following Sunday, we all went to my parents' ward for church. As I sat in Relief Society (a rare occasion for a Nursery worker) with my mother and sisters in law, I was made aware of a spectacular article written by Ezra Taft Benson, a former prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

It was quite the timely reminder for me as I'd "fallen off the wagon" and was finding it hard to scramble back on. Boy am I glad the God hasn't given up on me, even when I want to give up myself.

The article concisely summarizes what I've learned in the battle against depression over the last handful of years.

It gives twelve ways to "lift our spirits and send us on our way rejoicing."

I want to make it a focus on this blog for the next while. I plan on breaking it up and sharing my experiences with each way of lifting spirits and hope some of you might get in on the discussion and share your experiences with me.

Here's the original article I'll be focusing on if you want to read it ahead of time:

Do Not Despair by President Ezra T. Benson

I'm excited for this:)

Thankful Thursday

2011-08-04T13:38:00.004-06:00

Today I am thankful for:

Church leaders who saved me in a pinch.
Bret.
Water.
Silly boys and their smiles.
Vacuums.
Refrigeration.
Public libraries.

What are you thankful for today?

Thurrrrrrsday

2011-07-28T22:52:00.003-06:00

It's been a strange week.

It's dragged.

It's flown by.

It's been difficult.

It's been easy.

It's been sad.

It's been happy.

It's been frustrating.

It's been exhilarating.

I want it to be over.

It's not lasting long enough.

Is it the week?...Or is it me?

I don't know.

But I do know some things. I've been writing this while listening to a JFK speech given in the Mormon Tabernacle in 1963. He mentioned the resilience of the Mormon people to keep going on and in a short 100 years they went from a persecuted people subjected to violence and murder to a people whose voice and works is respected the world over.

The cynic in me said, "Psh. Respected? Sure by some, but they're not as vocal as those who still hate us and wish they could get away with murder."

Then I got a little chiding, "Ah Lindsey. Does that really matter? What do you know is true?"

And the basics of my testimony about my religion went through my mind. I know some people hate me and mine because of our beliefs. But that doesn't change the fact that what I believe is truth. This gospel is true. The work by those who have gone before me and those of us who work now is more than worth it.

Or more aptly put: "The Standard of truth has been erected; No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; Persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done."-Joseph Smith, Jr.

I know that the work I am part of is important. I know that I am on the right path.

I am thankful for my testimony today. And for an ever merciful Father who won't give up on me.

What are you thankful for today?

There was a moment...

2011-07-27T16:52:00.003-06:00

I've had two big moments this week that I'd like to share.

The first happened while out shopping for back to school stuff (beginning of the year excitement!!). We crossed paths with an older couple, the woman walking ahead of the man who had the cart. The man paused to exchange some pleasantries with my boys; it was very sweet. As we parted I heard the woman snap, "Norm! What is wrong with you?!" as he caught back up with her.

In that moment, I felt my heart break again. It happens from time to time when I think about the kinds of things that people suffer in this world. Especially the kinds of things suffered because of the actions of those closest to us.

A man stops for just a moment to chat with some young boys and that prompts the woman with him to say that something must be wrong with him??? How sad that people talk to each other that way:(

It made me think of how sad it must be to live in those kind of relationships and how neither person can be happy like that. Sad. Sad. Sad.

The next moment to share came yesterday while the boys and I were in Walmart. Two minutes after we got inside, a downpour started. Seriously, it was pouring down harder and in larger volume than I've seen in years. The rain pounded so hard on the roof of the store that one couldn't hardly hear anything but the roar and I had to raise my voice for the boys to hear me.

Now, weather stresses me out. All kinds but extremely peaceful. Wind, however slight, raises my blood pressure. Snow storms. Rain and thunderstorms. I get reminded easily of the damage weather can do and so any weather raises my stress level. Even being odd like that myself, I was still a little shocked as I observed the people around us in the store. No one seemed to notice or care. I stood with the boys in view of the door so we could watch the crazy rain for a few minutes before continuing shopping. No one really reacted. People leaving the store would pause for a second to realize it was rather wet outside then proceed to just run out into it. People entering the store shook their heads and immediately took on the look of "now what am I supposed to get here?" Barely acknowledging the severe downpour just on the other side of the door!

As we shopped and I kept getting distracted by the pounding on the roof, I noticed that no one around seemed to even realize that anything out of the ordinary was going on outside.

I must be crazy weird. I couldn't help but think worst case scenario.

What if those buckets just don't stop failing and we're stuck here for a while?...At least we're together and hey, there's food here.
I wish Bret was here. I hope he's okay.
I wonder if this was what it was like when the Earth was flooded. Did people just think it was another rainy day. When did they finally start to worry?
Oh my, what if we have a huge flood right now?
How am I going to get out of here without soaking the boys and myself?
What if this is how it ends? Last chance for me and the boys?

I tried to be reasonable, but these kinds of thoughts just kept coming. Luckily, the rain subsided while we were in the check out line.

But the realizations lingered.

This time is precious and short. Let's take advantage of it.

Have you had any shareable moments lately?

Snarky

2011-07-25T17:29:00.003-06:00

Just call me Snarky McSnarkerson.

In the past ten years I've become quite the sarcastic cynic in my head.

It's not all the time.

The snarkiness in my thoughts tends to increase ten thousand fold as I approach a certain time of the month.

Which is the current state I find myself in.

I sometimes sell used but good condition items on a local news channel classified webpage.

Usually with great success.

Since the last time I've listed items, it seems that the buyers who look at this site are only looking to pay half of what used items are worth.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten calls or emails in the last month asking if I'd sell one or more of my items for half of what I'm asking for it and then getting all uppity when I say no.

It's shocking!

Today- the straw that almost broke the snarky camel's back.

One woman emailed me last week about a kids' toy I've listed. It's in spectacular condition and retails for big bucks. I priced it at a quarter of it's original cost. She asked questions and I answered them (one of which being how low was I willing to sell it for (Do they really think I'm that dumb???)).

I didn't hear anything back and assumed she'd decided she didn't want it. Fine with me.

Until today...

...When I got an email from her telling me she was passing on my toy because she'd found one for such and such a low price that was twice as big as the one I'm trying to sell.

I stared at my computer for a few moments, looking at the computer like I look at my boys when they ask me for the twelfth time for a treat right before dinner (really?), and fighting back the snarky thoughts that I would love to share with a click of the reply button.

Oh, good fer you!

Gee, thanks for sharing.

Boy, am I glad you saved my email address to tell me that!

I'm still not lowering my price.

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

In the end, I just deleted the email.

Then I sighed a big sigh because I can't call Bret about this yet and it's too rich not to share.

And then I smiled because I remembered I could blog about it.

So I did.

Except I'm fairly disappointed that you can't hear the tone of my voice as I write this and I'm hoping you can put in the right amount of sarcasm for yourselves; it's so much more entertaining that way...

And now I will go back to keeping my snarky thoughts to myself...as best I can...which isn't very good...curses.

Five. Years.

2011-07-22T09:11:00.003-06:00

In the grand scheme of things, five years is not that many.

Hardly a blip on the radar.

Even on a smaller scale, five years just isn't that long.

But my, how things can change in just five years.

In five years of my life I married, had a baby, graduated from college, bought a house, and had twins.

What a difference five years makes!

If one had taken a snapshot of my freshman year, then skipped ahead to take another snapshot five years later-

Shoot, even I would wonder if that was really the same person.

I'd like to say that five years from now the changes will be just as dramatic:

My children will be 11 (!!!), 8, and 8. Maybe there will be more.

All of them could be in school. Or maybe we'll be veteran homeschoolers.

I'll have finally figured out a system that will keep the house consistently clean and organized.

There will be an exercise routine I have successfully made habit.

I'll have an hour every day that I can spend in the scriptures.

There will be more than enough hours every day to accomplish what I need to and even what I want to.

No matter what I eat, my thighs will not get bigger.

Yeah...maybe my imagination is running a bit wild...

I don't know what life will be like in five years. I have desires for how it will be. I have directions to go and paths to follow that will take me to wonderful places with my family and personal growth.

But really, looking back on how quickly my life can change in five years I really can't pretend to even have a grasp of what life will be like for Lindsey five years from now.

Whatever it is- It's going to be AWESOME!

This post is part of MamaBlogga's July Group Writing Project.

Thankful Thursday

2011-07-21T18:31:00.003-06:00

Life has been life lately [I was going to say a bit crazy, but isn't it always?] and I'm having trouble keeping up!

But yesterday, I took an hour to just be outside with the boys. I pushed them on the swings and watched them pretend to be Kung Fu warriors (we recently borrowed Kung Fu Panda from the library). We jumped on the trampoline together and had a lovely, summery time.

Al and Goose hopped off the trampoline to go play something having to do with firefighters and pirates in their fort. Jonz and I continued jumping.

With the little ones off, I feel some more liberty to bounce Jonz higher.

So I did.

He thought bouncing higher was so hilarious and awesome. He laughed, he squealed, he yelled with glee.

That hour with my boys was special and rejuvenating.

But ending it with Jonz been so entertained was priceless.

I am so thankful for moments like that amongst the chaos of life.

What are you thankful for today??

Return

2011-07-19T23:30:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the last couple weeks. My computer gave up the ghost.

Turns out that 4.75 years on a hard drive is the equivalent of 97 years for a human body.

It just stopped.

Cross your fingers for me that the PC peeps will be able to get the data off of it. They're taking their sweet time, but certain language they've used has made me think they have the data they just are in no hurry to copy it to the new hard drive we gave them for such purposes. Still, cross those fingers anyway please.

I've had this computer for four or five days and I still can't manage to type smoothly. *argh* New keyboards. I feel like I'm back in high school stumbling through a typing class trying to type the same word five times before it comes out right:)

Anyway...I've felt a little lost lately, not being regular in my weekly grateful writings.

I feel grateful, and I acknowledge that in my head often. But there's something therapeutic about writing it down and publishing it for "the world" to see.

It helps me (that took me three tries!) feel more peaceful. It helps me keep that peace when I come across things that threaten those feelings. It doesn't solve my problems or make the world a daisy-filled dreamland. But it does take the edge off my cynical mind and help me be more optimistic. It helps dramatically, I've noticed.

You should try it.

I'm determined to hop back on the train on Thursday and call this lapse a fluke summer thing.

Seriously, you should try it. It's good for the soul:)

Thankful Thursday

2011-07-07T15:58:00.003-06:00

Scriptures.

Prayer.

Family.

Peace in the midst of the unknown and frustration.

Goals.

Progression.

Bret.

New social circles.

I am thankful:)

What are you thankful for this Thursday??

Fankful Friday

2011-07-01T09:32:00.003-06:00

Sheesh!

I can't believe how bad I've been on Thursdays these last few weeks. Yesterday it didn't even occur to me that I needed to blog here.

It didn't last week, either. I remembered on Friday (like this week), but thought, "Ah, who cares anyway? I'll just do it next week."

But I didn't. So now I have to do another Fankful Friday.

Oddly enough, what I am thankful for this week is...people.

Yes, even considering my last post. I am thankful for people.

Bret. My wild, trying-to-run-around-outside-in-only-their-underwear, loud, and wonderful sons. My parents. My siblings (especially their wives!). Friends (you wish you were lucky enough to know the Newmans;)). Neighbors. Ward members. Cashiers who say, "Thank you so much for teaching your children manners!"

People can often be the source of frustrations, but mostly they are a source of joy and purpose.

WHO are you thankful for today?

People

2011-06-28T14:02:00.004-06:00

I don't understand people.

So often they're confusing, they project crafted images, and they're unbelievably selfish.

Regularly, I get to the point where I just get fed up with people and this song pops into my head. Skip to 6:27, where the song starts. At minute 8:14 the song is interrupted with some dialogue, but starts again at 9:24. Enjoy:)

That Scrooge sure hits the nail on the head sometimes. I know it's not Christian at all of me to think these thoughts about people. I justify myself because I'm not thinking this about particular people. This only happens when I feel like I've dealt with a lot of aggravation at the hands of many people in a short amount of time. This time it's a mix of, as Scrooge would say, "sycophants and flatterers and fools" and people hastily making judgments about who I am and what my intentions are.

Plus, it makes me laugh! And then feel like I can suck it up and look at what I can do to improve the situations I can.

I enjoyed the laugh and thought I'd share and hope you get some kicks out of it, too. Here are they lyrics.

Here's to progressing to the point that other people's actions and words cause me to feel a deeper love for them instead of aggravation!

"The road is loooooong..."

Humbug! Poppycock! Balderdash! Bah!
Scavengers and sycophants and flatterers and fools
Pharisees and parasites and hypocrites and ghouls
Calculating swindlers, prevaricating frauds
Perpetrating evil as they roam the earth in hordes
Feeding on their fellow men
Reaping rich rewards
Contaminating everything they see
Corrupting honest men like me
I hate people! I hate people!
People are despicable creatures
Loathsome inexplicable creatures
Good-for-nothing, kickable creatures
I hate people! I abhor them!
When I see the indolent classes
Sitting on their indolent [as my Mom would say, "Boom-dee-ays.":)]
Gulping ale from indolent glasses
I hate people! I detest them! I deplore them!
Fools who have no money spend it
Get in debt then try to end it
Beg me on their knees befriend them
Knowing I have cash to lend them
Soft-hearted me. Hard-working me.
Clean-living, thrifty, and kind as can be
Situations like this are of interest to me
I hate people! I loathe people! I despise and abominate people!
Life is full of cretinous wretches
Earning what their sweatiness fetches
Empty minds whose pettiness stretches
Further than I can see
Little wonder, I hate people
And I don't care if they hate me!

Thankful Thursday

2011-06-16T14:01:00.003-06:00

This time last year I was in one of my favorite states, colorful Colorado, cruising down a river in a duckie (think inflatable canoe) with my wonderful Molly.

What a beautiful day it was!

It was absolutely freezing in the shade (more so once we got wet). And since we were in a canyon, we were in the shade a LOT. But there were those times when the sun could break over the canyon walls and shine, shine, shine.

There was a moment...I remember looking up during a quiet stretch of the river and loving the way the rocks and plants looked in the sunshine, the sounds of the river, and what a beautiful world I am blessed to live in. It was so amazing and happy that I had to shout out, "Look how spectacular this is!!" for no one but Molly to hear.

Ahhhh, the great outdoors:)

This year, the weather is just as gorgeous here. The sun is shining. It's not getting too hot yet. The windows are open and there is usually a breeze coming through them. My garden is green and actually thriving this year! As-fresh-as-it-gets salad coming tonight:)

I'm so thankful for the natural beauties and bounties we are blessed with here.

What are you thankful for today?

The burning question

2011-06-15T09:27:00.003-06:00

It's been happening regularly for years.

Even in the days after I gave birth to twins.

And as those "babies" of mine get bigger and bigger, it's happening more.

Lately, a LOT more.

It usually comes in one of three forms: Are you done? When are you going to have more? Are (or when are) you going to try for a girl?

Short answer- "I don't know."

Not good enough for you? Then dive into the long answer-

"I'd like to know even more than you, but I have no idea."

Bret and I both come from families of six and had thought four kids would be a good number for us, too. While taking care of days-old twins I declared to myself and God that never ever ever again would I do this because it was just too hard.

I've lightened up since then. Sometimes, I've even thought having five would be best.

But what I have remained firm on is that I'm not having another until we get a clear as crystal "It's time" from above. Both times we were trying to get pregnant, we really felt that the time was right. I haven't felt that since Al and Goose came. At all. And I'm beginning to wonder if I ever will.

I've wondered many things over the years. Like, what if I can't have any more children? Maybe God sent Al and Goose together because he knew my body and/or mind couldn't handle any future additions and our family was meant to have these three boys so he had to double them up. Will I ever get that feeling some moms talk about; the peaceful one where they just know that they're done? Will we just skip the whole process and the "it's time" will come in the form of a "Surprise!?"

We may never know.

I take comfort in the fact that we're in a good place right now. I love my family. I love my boys.

Does that answer the question?:)

There was a moment...

2011-06-14T15:57:00.003-06:00

Here are some moments I've had lately:

While driving home from running a couple errands, I felt more than a little stressed and was trying to get my mind to settle so I could concentrate. I had tuned the kids out. Suddenly I realized that Goose was singing. He was belting out some song of his own creation at the top of his lungs, oblivious to anyone else in the car. He does this every once in a while. He'll just be in his own little world and singing, singing, singing; I L.O.V.E it. But he stops when he realizes I'm watching. Since I was driving and couldn't turn around to watch him, I just listened. And since he didn't know I was listening he just kept on going all the way home. It was a such a sweet moment forgetting everything else and listening to my little boy sing so happily.

Then there was the time Bret and I were talking in the kitchen a few nights back. At the end of the conversation I walked away to switch the laundry and Bret said, "Hey, Lindsey. I love you." For something that we say so often to each other, it's still wonderful to hear.

There have also been a handful of times recently when I've caught my boys looking so intently at something they're trying to figure out. It's such a joy to see them learning new things.

I've also decided that when people say, "You'll miss this," that I finally believe them. We are in a fantastic stage with three and six year old boys. I've been having many moments lately where I realize that this won't last forever and it makes the present that much sweeter:)

Have you had any moments you'd like to share?

Really?...REALLY?!?

2011-06-08T08:58:00.002-06:00

Oh, Moms.

Why do you do this?

Why can't we all stop talking the talk and actually start walking the walk???

We say all sorts of nice and grand things about not judging other moms and their decisions. We talk of how each family is different and therefore each mom is entitled to make decisions based on what's best for those under her care.

Great! Then why don't we believe it?

Example:

I say, "I homeschool my boys" and suddenly I've offended 75% of the moms who heard me say it.

Whaaaaaaat?!?

I didn't say, "I'm better than you, so I homeschool my boys." Nor did I say, "You're a bad mom and you don't love your children if you don't homeschool."

When someone says to me, "My kids go to such-and-such school," I don't hear, "You're smothering your children and not allowing them to really experience life and great education, you horrible homeschooling mother you!"

Why do we get so defensive and offended?

I don't know, but we do. I don't get offended at the offset of conversations about education, but I have been known to get hurt at what comes out once the defensive buttons have been pushed.

It hurts that other moms out there honestly believe that I'm harming my kids, that I think parents who don't homeschool are awful, that I think I'm better than they are, that my boys are going to fail and be weirdos no one wants to be around, that I don't trust my boys, that I don't care about other people or my community, etc. etc. etc.

The latest I've heard is that I lack "courage and love" and am not allowing my boys to use their agency or be good examples and missionaries since I don't send them to school.

It hurrrrrrts, people! Even when it mostly comes from people who don't really know me.

When are we honestly going to embrace the fact that what's best for one family isn't for another and that everyone else is trying to do the best they can for their families?

P.S. To those of you I know in real life who don't homeschool- if I've ever given the impression that I think less of you because of your schooling decisions, I'm sorry! That's not the impression I mean to give because I don't think it. You're wonderful moms who I know are following the guidance you are sent!

Thankful Thursday

2011-06-02T16:39:00.002-06:00

Today I am thankful for-

Sweet reminders.
Friends.
Breakfast.
Showers.
Weekend plans.
Washing machines and dryers.
Root beer.
Toothbrushes.
Chapstick.
Easy dinner.
Bret.

What are YOU thankful for today???

Sick leave

2011-05-27T19:54:00.003-06:00

I'm sick.

Thankful Thursday for this week isn't going to happen. Delayed or otherwise.

Cuz I'm sick.

And I don't wanna do it.

Lazy?

Most definitely.

But I'm sick.

So it works.

And I'm sorry you came all the way over here to read a post about nothing.

But maybe now you realize you're thankful you're not a lazy sick person...

While we're on the topic...what else are you thankful for?

Hope you enjoy a healthy holiday weekend.

Family Fun

2011-05-25T11:08:00.003-06:00

Yesterday we got to spend the whole day together as a family.

It was great!

It was also tiring. Verrrrrry tiring.

First we got to go to a local Triple A baseball game courtesy of Jeffrey's online school. The game was for and devoted to school kids from around the state.

That means there were kids e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.

Who doesn't love an end of the school year field trip??

Bret and I continually marveled at the lack of adult supervision for all these kids though. When I was in elementary school I remember being assigned to a group of 3-6 kids for every parent volunteer. In the area around us I saw two parents. In the area around us I saw at least 50 kids. Two adults to 50 kids!?!? One of those adults disappeared an hour into the game. The other seemed to be asleep.

Not cool! I would freak out if one of my kids was so poorly looked after in such a crowd.

Other than wild kids, the game was good. The weather was fairly cooperative, too. And Jonzy was in heaven. That boy has been dying to go to a baseball game since last September. When we walked in, all the kids were given a Lunchables (something I've never allowed the boys to have). Clutching his lunchables and walking through the stadium, Jonzy was heard to exclaim with a smile, "This is the best day EVER!"

Following the game, we crashed at home for a bit before getting dressed up for family pictures. Let me tell you, my guys are four handsome fellas!

Taking pictures in our family is always an adventure. Last time, Goose threw up all over the place and we had to wash off in the nearby river. This time, Al threw up as we got ready (thankfully before he was dressed). Hooray for tradition, eh?

I don't really like taking family pics with young kids. It's exhausting. Trying to get three boys to look at the camera and smile at the same time (really smile, not those fake cheeser grins) is nigh unto impossible. I feel awkward and unnatural. Kids get easily distracted. I worry that we won't get a single usable pose.

BUT, there are things I love about family pictures. I loooove choosing everyone's wardrobe and trying out different colors and dressing my family up all coordinatedly cute. And our photographer is seriously a miracle worker who always manages to get some great shots. He's one talented guy. I love choosing what shots to print once the proofs are ready.

Basically, I love the prep work and the end results but not the actually task. Is that weird?

After pictures, we came home and ate yummy leftover burgers from the bbq we had yesterday. Easy dinner to put out AND clean up:) I read more of a gripping book I started this weekend in the sunset while the boys jumped on the trampoline. Then it was off to bed for the boys and movie night for me and Bret.

I love spending a weekday with my family!

Thankful Thursday

2011-05-19T19:59:00.002-06:00

It's Thursday again.

Boy that came fast!

Today I am thankful for simple things: hoodies, couches, socks, kids movies...

And seemingly simple, but really life-changing things: a house that keeps the cold rain off our heads, a van, grocery stores, indoor plumbing...

What are you thankful for today?

There was a moment...

2011-05-14T22:28:00.003-06:00

Troubles with blogger on Thursday and busy-ness of life on Friday has canceled this week's installment of Thankful Thursday. Perhaps I could call today Sankful Saturday...my firstborn still occasionally lisps his th's as s's...

Aaaaaanyway.

I wanted to share another moment.

Tonight, during dinner, I looked at my three sons; all clean cut in their fresh summer-is-coming haircuts.

99% innocent from the troubles and awfulness in this world.

Encompassed by learning the basics of happily living with other people and the beginnings of understanding the worth of deeper concepts such as delayed gratification.

In one quick moment, their potential hit me.

It was incredible and scary at the same time.

What will they become? These little, shirtless boys. Pushing spaghetti around their plates. Soft, round faces. Bright, beautiful eyes.

Will something steal that light from their eyes? What will they dedicate their lives to? Will they accept the light and truth Bret and I are offering to them? What will they look like when they're grown? Will they still love me?

While this could have been a sad moment, what I felt overall was happiness. There we sat, together around the dinner table, and there is so much in front of us. So much progress that we will have together and that Bret and I can see in our sons.

It also served as a reminder.

The time is fast approaching when they won't want to kiss me anymore.

When they won't lay their heads on my shoulder when they're sad.

When they won't bring me dandelions.

When they won't yell, "Mommy!" when they see me after a short time apart.

When they'll speak without any entertaining mispronunciations.

This is a precious time. An innocent time. And there is so much to treasure and enjoy about it.

And so I will renew my efforts to treasure the fleeting, wonderful things during this time of life with my boys.

And take more videos of them because they're ridiculously cute and their vocabularies will never again be so unique. When they speak normally, it will be fun to look back on this time in little videos.

Oh, how I love my boys:)

That was my moment tonight. Have you had any lately you'd like to share?

There's a first time for everything:

2011-05-05T15:05:00.002-06:00

And today, it's my first guest post.

Head on over to MamaBlogga and read her week of guest posts on lessons learned from motherhood in honor of Mothers Day.

Today's post features musings from yours truly. And I would very much appreciate any insight you have on the questions I posed at the end of it!

Thank you, thank you:)

Thankful Thursday

2011-05-05T14:50:00.004-06:00

Today I am rushed. There's just too much to do before the weekend hits.

But I am forcing myself to slow down and blog for Thankful Thursday.

I've been hovering on the edge of that tempting pit of depression for a few days. Tears always right behind my eyes, despairing thoughts waiting in the wings for me to come and meditate on, and oh-the-exhaustion-during-the-day-and-insomnia-at-night. Blah.

I feel like I'm standing on that edge and someone is shoving me from behind while my heels scramble and dig in to keep me from falling. It hasn't been too difficult to stay out this time (and luckily I recognized it before I was actually in it this time), but I've been surprised that the temptations are sticking around longer than they have for a number of months.

Because of all this and it being Thursday, I am super grateful today for the gospel of Jesus Christ. For my family. For my husband. For my sons. And for Boylan's Ginger Ale;), except I think I'd prefer a root beer or black cherry right now, but our stock in the fridge has run out.

What are you thankful for today??

Thankful Thursday

2011-04-28T23:15:00.004-06:00

My family is the tops.

Seriously.

T-O-P-S, tops!

I've been the recipient of much good service and sacrifice from my family this week.

My brother and sister in law are taking on the task of caring for the boys while Bret and I attend an out-of-state wedding.

My dad and brother heeded the extremely-last-minute call to come celebrate Jonz' birthday with us.

My dad also stepped right in to help Bret when someone else canceled last minute.

Just last week, Bret was left stranded on a business trip and my oldest brother and his wife came to his rescue.

My mom dropped by for a quick visit last night before she left for the weekend. Any visit with Mom is uplifting!

I love my family. I love knowing I have so many fantastic people that have my back and hope they know they can count on me, too. I love being related (by blood and by marriage) to such an amazing group of people.

I am so thankful to be part of this family and that it has grown and will grow over the years.

What are you thankful for today?

A moment, a moment, we have a moment

2011-04-26T19:50:00.002-06:00

Here's some of the random special moments had 'round here lately:

Looking out the back door and seeing the peas growing up strong. In ROWS! Not sporadically and sickly looking like last year:)

Watching Goose's eyes light up when he put Jonz' baseball helmet on and picked up the bat.

Getting a big hug from Bret after a long day.

Hearing the excitement in Jonz voice when he found out the large, mysterious packages that arrived via the UPS truck were for his birthday.

Seeing all three boys dancing and jumping around and on our ABC train puzzle while singing the ABC's.

Al put the baseball mitt on the wrong hand (he's looking like a lefty) and it was such a cute picture.

And looking at the clock and seeing how close it is to bedtime right now;)

Life is so full of wonderful moments! Have you had any you care to share?

Thankful Thursday

2011-04-21T22:37:00.003-06:00

It's been a strange week.

On Monday, I kept thinking it was Saturday.

Tuesday I thought it was Wednesday. Wednesday felt like Friday. And I kept thinking today was Tuesday.

Not so! Time to sneak in a Thankful Thursday post!

Tonight I am thankful for music and for Relief Society.

We had a Stake RS dinner/program tonight. It was so wonderful. The dinner was fun. The speakers at the program were amazing. And the music was superb.

I love singing with groups. I love listening to groups sing. My favorites are singing with the RS and/or Young Women and listening to the men and Young Men sing together. And the Primary kids; my oh my, those sweet Primary kids.

Tonight I sang with my fellow sisters in the RS. That always presses on tender heartstrings.

There was a special musical number offered by one sister that was phenomenal. The kind of singing that you just close your eyes and let it wash all over you. It was like paying to hear a professional it was so beautiful!

One speaker's topic also reminded me of something I had learned through a Primary song, which I would like to share one of these days.

Music is a blessing. Relief Society is a blessing.

Life is a blessing.

I hope you are all having a wonderful Easter season! What are you thankful for today?

Toe, cross, or leap over the line?

2011-04-20T14:22:00.003-06:00

There's this thing that moms do with each other.

We talk about how hard it is to be a mom. We talk, chat, and blog about specific events or tasks that are just downright difficult.

And I like that.

It helps me to realize that I am not alone in many of my trials. That there are people I can relate to. That I'm not crazy or abnormal.

But there is a fine line between saying, "This is hard," and complaining, "This is hard."

Far too often I'm finding moms crossing that line. And more and more often I'm finding that moms are leaping over that line.

The way this happens most often is by trying to drag down other moms.

I read a blog today that called me a liar. Flat out. Along with every other woman who doesn't own up to inwardly cheering when the kids leave for school. Because all moms who say they miss their kids at school (or anytime they're apart) must be lying.

Wait...I've never even met this woman. Why in the world is she calling me a liar? She has no idea how I feel about being with or without my kids. Why is her opinion only right if I'm a liar?

Ouch.

This was one of the few times I've been driven to the comments section to see how other readers felt. I saw there were many who felt like I do. But there were more who said, "Right on!" and "Hilarious!" and "I'm so sick of those moms who pretend that life with their kids is perfect. Clueless Jerks."

But here's why I'm writing about it: All the comments that said in some fashion (including one from the author), "Sheesh, ladies! It's a JOKE! Get a sense of humor or stop reading!" in response to the "um, don't call me a liar" comments.

I haaaaaaaate that.

The whole "oops-better-say-I-was-joking-to-save-face-and-make-them-look-like-idiots" tactic. It's like saying something snotty and tacking an lol on the end as if to say, "I'm only kidding, silly." Like Mother Gothel in "Tangled!" Um, no. You're not joking. Sure there were funny and sarcastic things in the post, but the liars thing obviously wasn't.

I know motherhood is often rough. But moms! Don't wallow in it! Don't make the ones who seek for the good in it out to be hoity toity liars. Yes, there are hoity toity lying moms. But I doubt those are the ones who are saying they miss their kids when they're gone.

Please don't insult my intelligence or my honesty.

In a few weeks, I'll be leaving my kids for the weekend to go to a wedding with my husband. I am SO excited! And I am already starting to miss my boys. I will enjoy the weekend with Bret, but my mind will often be traveling back to home and wondering what the boys are doing. Not lying.

I'm sorry there are so many moms who find motherhood a complete drudgery. They miss out on so much. And I wish they wouldn't try to peg me as a liar. It hurts a bit because they don't know me, but it hurts more thinking that there are moms they DO know who they think are lying. Makes me wonder how many moms I personally know who consider me a liar. Don't really want to think about that.

So, moms- here's a plea: Please continue to talk to me and blog about the less than glamorous times. But don't let yourself get so caught up in the hard times that you start to misjudge the others around you.

Please can't we all just follow the Golden Rule?

Thankful Thursday

2011-04-14T21:29:00.003-06:00

It's been a super long day full of tired, whiny boys who oddly enough are tip-toeing around their room and whispering instead of sleeping...If it were me, I'd be o-w-t OUT!

It was a welcome break to head out to Jonz' little league baseball game early this evening.

Little league-ers sure are hilarious.

There's the boy doing cartwheels in the outfield. The one who can't seem to hold on to the bat. The one who spins like a ballerina every time he swings at the ball. The one who runs willy-nilly around the field looking for the bases. The one who stands on the bases looking wistfully off into the clouds while coaches, parents, and teammates yell for him to run to the next base. The one who hits it foul and his focus can't be broken until he's rounding second. The one who gets a slammin' hit, darts to first, loses his shoe after two steps, gets almost to first before turning back and sauntering back to his shoe while everyone yells for him to get back to the base- then STILL making it to first safely because the ball is being juggled between five teammates.

That last one is my boy. Time for some new shoes:)

And the parents can be funny, too!

Like the one helping the other team on the field picking up a boy and tossing him onto second to make the out on time. Not cool, but funny. And the cheering and coaching from parents in the bleachers is comical. I take part in it, too.

Thanks, Little League Baseball, for the laughs today. I needed that!

What are you thankful for today?

Thankful Thursday

2011-04-07T14:16:00.003-06:00

I'm so thankful to be at this point in my life.

My hours are full of caring for three independent boys and the house that tries to contain them without falling apart:)

Not so different from three-ish years ago. I was doing the same thing. But the youngest two of the three only interacted with me by screaming or crying. The oldest ran around with endless energy and only seemed to understand a third of what I said. I remember looking at Al when he was very new and wondering what he would be like when he was Jonz' age and longing for a time when he would interact with me.

We're there.

I realized that today when I looked in Al's eyes (those eyes are amazingly beautiful and deep) as he looked up at me and pleaded, "Can you holds me, peas?"

Al talks to me and tells me he "luhz" me. He loves to "do school" like his big brother. He fights passionately, talks passionately, and laughs from the gut.

Goose puts on a ridiculous outfit and tries to jump down the stairs proclaiming to be a bird. Then wails while I break it to him that he can't fly and try to keep him from tumbling down the stairs almost exactly a year from the day he fell down the stairs and ended up with stitches in his forehead. He is the most expressive child I've ever seen.

Jonz is learning to channel his boundless energy and is a fantastic big brother. He's learning how to read his math story problems and do them completely by himself. He loves learning and growing up while still fighting for the joys of playing all day.

I love this time. My children are wildly independent, but still need me constantly. Before I know it they won't hardly need me at all. My home is full of music and constant sound effects from imaginative boys. The adventures in our home continue to amaze me. My husband is a handsome, hard-working, heart-warming hunk:) And Easter is approaching.

While there are currently many unsettled aspects of our family's life and I often feel inadequate and struggle, this is a wonderful time!

I cherish being here and now.

What are you thankful for today?

On the job 24-7

2011-04-04T13:21:00.005-06:00

Goose was sick all night between Saturday and Sunday. Throwing up sick:(

Call me crazy, but I think there's something they put in their food at Wendy's that doesn't agree with Goose's stomach. This isn't the first time he's been violently ill after eating food from Wendy's...

Anyway, it was one of those nights when I didn't get any sleep. Like...any. I never pulled an all-nighter in college. I've only done one or two because there was too much fun to be had with friends to consider sleeping. The rest have been all-nighters with sick kids. Thankfully, those are rare, too.

Goose got some sleep. Not a lot, but some. So why couldn't I sleep when he did?

I tried. Really I did.

After the first two episodes I tried to catch some z's in my bed only to lay there listening for any whimpers signaling a need to jump out of bed and grab the bucket. I was convinced that the second I started to drift he'd wake up and need help.

I was right:) But only because I'd spend thirty minutes or so staring at the ceiling before letting my eyes droop.

Once I went into the boys' room (after stubbing my toes and tripping over my shoes and into the door; so much for trying to let Bret sleep!) and was shocked to find Al was the one screaming.

A perfect night for nightmares to return.

I ended up laying down on the floor of the boys room, alternating between a sick Goose and a scared Al.

Oddly enough, neither of them ever woke the other up. And Jonz was clueless the next morning.

I finally went to bed at 7:50 and my wonderful husband let me sleep right up to the beginning of General Conference when he sent my sweet five year old up to whisper, "Mommy...conference is starting."

Why do I tell you all this? Because it was a night full of special moments.

Jonzy's whispered wake up call in the morning. Telling Al that no "scary stuff" could hurt him and he was safe in his bed and him replying with a sleepy, "okay," in typical Al fashion and saying, "I luhz you, Mom," through his fingers as he went back to sleep. Goose telling me that he wanted to "rock in the chair with my blanket," and playing with his hair while we rocked. Sitting on the floor of the boys' room and listening to their steady breathing while watching their sweet faces.

Beautiful moments throughout the rough night to remind me that the peace and joy found in the moments was more than enough to keep me happy without any sleep.

I love my 24/7 job! (especially when I can get a few hours of sleep:))

Have you had any moments lately that you'd like to share?

Thankful Thursday

2011-03-31T16:38:00.002-06:00

We've spent most of the day outside.

Without jackets.

Could it be possible that spring is really here now? I don't care if this is just another taste. It's a glorious day!

I'm thankful for the way my boys' hair looks glowing in the sunshine.

And my lovely clean kitchen.

And that I'm doing something super easy for dinner.

And that my best friend was born on this day 26 years ago.

It's a wonderful Thursday.

What are you thankful for today????

"To forgive is divine."

2011-03-28T21:50:00.005-06:00

Turns out, I fail when it comes to forgiveness.

I've known it's not one of my strong points. But I realized this weekend that it's not just a weakness, I really am awful at forgiving. I can handle forgiving most trivial things, but if it gets any bigger or repetitive or attacks something close to my heart...

Ever so thankfully, I've never really been tragically hurt or offended or anything requiring deep-down forgiveness. I hope I never am, but I don't think I'll be able to escape that part of this life.

And how can I expect people to forgive me if I'm not trying to grant it myself to those who need it from me?

If I ever have hope of learning to forgive the big stuff, I've got to figure out how to take care of the little things.

Forgiving people who were/are cruel to people I love.

Forgiving people who say unkind things to me.

Forgiving people who lie to me.

Forgiving people who misjudge me.

Forgiving people who justify bad things.

I do, however, seem to have a knack of forgetting most infractions. Comes in handy for my day to day living, but not so great for my eternal hopes. Plus it's annoying to be going about life and suddenly remember something and realize, "Ouch. That still stings."

And yet, I don't hold grudges. I think the only reason I don't hold grudges is because I honestly forget these things, remember them every so often, and promptly forget them again.

Maybe that's my problem. Maybe if I had a more solid memory, I'd be more adept at forgiving because something would be on my mind until I actually forgave. Or maybe the poor memory is a blessing and part of forgiveness that I don't realize I'm doing...I'd like to think that, but that won't lead to much progression now will it? 'Course not:)

Thoughts?

P.S. Lately all three of my boys have started regularly telling me they love me. From Jonz it's a very clear and exuberant, "I love you, Mom!" Sometimes followed by a comment like, "You're beautiful," or "Your hair is fine!":) From Al it's more often a softly spoken, "I luhz you, Mom." And from Goose it's a smiley, "I luhloo, Mom!" I love this new phase they're all in:):):)
There was a moment yesterday when the Gooseman (looking super cute with his floppy hair hanging over the gauze wrapped around his head to protect his recently surgically invaded ear from curious fingers) grabbed me around the neck, hugged me tight, and said, "I luhloo, Mom," in my ear. It was pretty much heaven:)

Have you had any moments lately?

Thankful Thursday

2011-03-24T20:45:00.002-06:00

Today I am thankful for distractions. It's been a long day. It will be a longer night. And it's going to be one heckuva morning tomorrow.

Distractions like good books, black and white movies, frozen yogurt, and black cherry soda are coming in handy today.

And I'm hoping their strength will still hold tomorrow.

What are you thankful for?

There was a thankful moment Thursday

2011-03-17T21:37:00.004-06:00

What a combination, eh?

I am thankful for my van. It did it's job well in getting me and mine from place to place today.

I'm thankful for my dad who will let me come to his house with little to no warning, drop everything, and put air in my tires because I have no confidence in doing it right by myself at the gas station.

I'm thankful for holidays like St. Patrick's Day that make me so awesome in my boys' eyes merely because I made green rice krispie treats with them.

I'm thankful for our homeschool co-op and that because of it I've had "O Sole Mio" and "Nessun Dorma" stuck in my head all day.

I'm thankful for There was a moment...s and the one I'm highlighting tonight:

Goose and I were sitting on the couch together waiting for the rest of the fellas to join us for family scriptures. He was babbling about the stick horse he had and I tuned him out while I looked up the chapter we were going to read from. I started to tune back in when I heard him saying strange things like, "Shropshire, Mom?" and "Skipshires, Mom?" I fully tuned in and looked at him in time to hear, "Scwip-churs, Mom?" with a huge smile. I said, "Yes, bud. We're going to read the scriptures right now," and his smile got even bigger. What a sweetheart! Cherished mispronunciations and all:)

What are you thankful for today? And do you have any special moments you'd like to share?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2011-03-11T16:54:00.003-07:00

It's gorgeous outside.

About 60 degrees.

Sunny.

Devoid of the wind that ruined the outdoor experiences yesterday.

Birds are chirping.

We spent two hours at the park and the boys have spent most of the rest of the day in the backyard.

I ran errands.

I've come across two fun ideas for figuring out chores for the boys in the last week and I'm going to create a mash up of them. Crossing my fingers it will work.

It's almost the weekend and it's looking to be a good weekend.

I'm having a terrible hair day.

Apart from that last one, it's such an "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" day.

Hope you're having one, too:)

Thankful Thursday

2011-03-10T15:24:00.005-07:00

Ah, Thursday. Only obligation could get me to sit in front of the computer right now. Obligation and hope that focusing intently on some gratitude might improve things.

But my entire brain feels engulfed by a headache. Very strange sensation; very unwelcome too. Really, it feels like my brain is surrounded and fogged up by a headache. Ugh.

The rest of my body feels like a war-zone (the metaphorical kind). I feel simultaneously empty and full; nothing to do with hunger, it's an overall feeling. Exhausted, but wanting to jump into spring cleaning. Devoid of emotion. Sore all over. Spent.

I think I'm sick. Weirdest sickness I've had in a while. Goose is sick, too, but he's exhibiting common cold symptoms. Weird.

I hope this doesn't come off as a downer post (I mean, c'mon! It's Thankful Thursday:)). I don't feel down. I just feel so weird! And my head hurts. While I'm used to the kind of headaches that have plagued me for as long as I can remember and even the occasional migraine, this one is wacky. Just don't know what to make of this strange, ugh, blah, weird day.

I do know what I'm thankful for though! Among countless other things I am looking forward to a long shower and my soft bed tonight. And boneless buffalo wings. Except my mouth wants to eat and my stomach tightens up at the thought of food. War-zone!

I am so thankful to live in a situation that affords me a big soft bed and an ample supply of hot water piped right to my shower head. Sometimes the little things aren't really so little.

What are you thankful for today?

Weekend edition

2011-03-07T13:39:00.004-07:00

There was a moment...

...Lots of them actually.

Like on Friday afternoon, when Jonz came running into my bathroom while I was showering (Don't worry. Bret was home and the kids were not alone:)) and shouted that he pumped on the swing, "all by myself!!!" I did it!" Proud parent moment after lots of coaxing and coaching last year.

Or on Saturday, when Al smiled that fantastic full-face smile and the feeling of satisfaction as I cleared the garden beds and it was obvious that the soil is so much better than last year (giving me hope that we'll have more success).

Or on Sunday as I chopped veggies for a salad and felt so happily domestic because I'd already put scalloped potatoes in the oven and I was about to go curl my hair.

Or today, when I hung up the phone after talking to Bret and once again felt so lucky for getting to be married to him.

Or when the boys and I got home at lunch today and I led them through a "rain is so awesome" ritual. We stood at the edge of the garage and leaned our heads back and took deep breaths of that sweet smelling air before running out onto the driveway and spinning in the rain for a few minutes.

Lots of lovely moments this weekend and today.

Have you had any lately that you want to share?

Thankful Thursday

2011-03-03T14:41:00.002-07:00

I am thankful for flexibility today.

In the name of caution, we stayed home from co-op today because Goose threw up last night. Al kept saying his stomach hurt this morning. Other than that and the few times my stomach has knotted today, everyone seems to be fine. I'm hoping that's the extent of it because I despise stomach bugs.

I'm so glad that the lessons I was responsible for today had been planned very closely with another mom. She took over with ease. Fleeeeexibility.

My head's been pounding today and that translates to laid-back schooling here at home. Still getting in some good learnin' despite the distractions.

I love flexibility. It's a good thing I don't have as much as I want though. I think I'd be a very lazy person if given the option.

But today flexibility is just what we needed here.

What are you thankful for today?

There was a moment...

2011-03-03T10:42:00.003-07:00

...this morning, at about 4:30 am. Goose had recently thrown up and cried for water. Bret brought him a drink and cleaned up the mess in the bedroom (my husband is awesome!) and I cleaned up the mess on the boy.

After washing him off and changing his pajamas, I rocked with my son and let him take a few sips of water to rinse out his mouth. He was fine with the sips until I tried to put him back in his bed without his cup. He cried and argued for it. I said he couldn't have it in his bed because he would drink the whole thing and that would hurt his tummy.

"But I want my drink in my bed!" "You can't have your drink in your bed." "Whyyyyy?" "Because you'll drink the whole thing and hurt your tummy more." "Whyyyyyy?" "Because you just threw up and your stomach is sick." "WHYYY?!!!!" "I don't know why, I just know you can't drink." "But I want my drink in my bed!" "You can't have your drink in your bed."

And around and around we went. I was getting pretty frustrated as Goose got louder and I now added "please don't wake up your brothers" to my pleas. Suddenly he just laid down and stopped arguing. I laid down with him and rubbed his back for a few minutes.

Just as I was thinking he was asleep and I could slip back into my bed, he popped up and in a very awake voice said, "It's okay, Mom. I don't need my drink in my bed. It should stay in the laundry room."

What a moment:) I felt like laughing at 4:30 in the morning even after having cleaned up vomit and trying to persuade a three year old to trust me and be quiet. I loved his sweet voice saying, "It's okay, Mom." And why he said laundry room is beyond me and fairly funny. Perhaps he wasn't as awake as he sounded. Or maybe I wasn't...;)

I love my boys. And while I'm not a fan of being awake at 4:30 or anytime in the middle of the night, I do love the fleeting moments of one on one quiet time with whoever happened to wake up.

Have you had any moments lately that you'd like to share?

"There was a moment"

2011-03-02T09:25:00.002-07:00

I've been having a rough couple weeks.

Not that life has gotten particularly harder, but my ability to handle life is not up to scratch lately. Hence, a rough couple weeks.

Last night between our couple's prayer together and my personal prayer, I was hit with a new idea. Oddly enough, a blogging idea. I had been reviewing the day and was trying to remember the special moments I'd had. Like when Al stared into my eyes for a second and smiled before running off again. Or when Bret and I were talking and how much better I automatically felt just admitting to my husband that I wasn't doing so great. Fleeting moments, yes, but sustaining and joyful moments. It occurred to me that I need to write these kind of moments down, that it would be helpful to my attitude, and that it might be helpful for other people's attitudes, too.

And so, please pass out the metaphorical cigars as we welcome the birth of, "There was a moment..."

There was a moment...is simply an opportunity for me (and you, if you like) to write down the moments that define life. To pause and remember what makes life special. To document and revel in the tender mercies God gives us.

There are no rules in writing "There was a moment..." posts. You don't have to wait until a certain day of the week. You don't have to write about a certain aspect of life; we're not limited to just motherhood, or just work, or just school, or just relationships, etc. etc. etc. Just write about the moments.

I would be very appreciative if you would share these moments posts with me, too. I've been seeing way to much unhappy junk lately. The news is downright depressing. I want to be reminded of the massive amounts of good in the world. Please share! If it only ends up that one or two people want to share, then we'll have our little elite group. If more interest is shown, maybe I'll do a weekly link up or something...we'll see how this goes, eh?

To jump start with a little inspiration, here's some quotes for you:

"Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
Gordon B. Hinckley (emphasis added)

"...recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction."
M. Russel Ballard

What do you think? Will you join in and share the moments?

Thankful Thursday

2011-02-24T15:37:00.002-07:00

Today I am thankful for my in-laws who kicked me out of my house for two hours this morning! Twas a lovely chunk of quiet time for me.

I'm also thankful for the Ensign. The March issue arrived in my mailbox today! And right on the front is a picture of Jesus and the words, "He Can Heal Us, Every One," telling me there's something I'm going to love to read on page 44:) Followed by the teaser, "Preparing Youth to Defend the Family," on page 12! Youth my eye, I need that, too!

And finally, today I am thankful that two of my three children are potty trained. We are currently setting the "reset button" for the third one in the hopes that when we try again next week we will find more lasting results.

Happy Thursday! What are you thankful for today?

When there's love at home

2011-02-23T17:38:00.002-07:00

Chocolate on my Cranium is doing a Wordfull Wednesday about: Beauty.

First thing that popped into my mind was the gorgeous mountains outside and how amazing they looked all day; first with a clear blue sky and bright morning sunshine, then shadowed with lots of fluffy clouds in the afternoon, and now glowing yet a bit hazy with the cloud cover and beginnings of a sunset.

I love living within view of the mountains.

But when I read the second to last sentence in Cocoa's post, "What comes to mind when you think of BEAUTY?" the hymn, "Love at Home" started playing in my head. The very first line in that hymn is, "There is beauty all around when there's love at home."

How I love that hymn (Oh come on, I love most of the hymns:)). Such a simple, heart piercing truth. How beautiful life is when there's love and harmony at home!

The value of home and hearth seems to be continually diminishing in this part of the world and many parts of the world. Consequently, people are much less happy and see much less beauty in the world around them.

I'm a big proponent of home. It all starts at home. It's amazing how wonderful the world looks and feels when everyone in my home is happy with everyone else.

When the boys aren't screaming about whose turn it is to play with a toy, sitting on each other, blatantly disobeying me and are instead giving me smiles, sharing with and helping each other, and singing silly songs as they pretend I see so much beauty. The sun shines brighter, eyes shine brighter, colors are more vibrant, I notice the birds singing outside, a smile lifts me, and I can take on the world.

There is so much beauty around us! Having a loving home makes it all the more beautiful.

If everyone tried just a little harder to do what they personally can to make their home a more loving place, think what a positive impact on the whole world that would be.

How beautiful:)

Made whole

2011-02-22T17:02:00.004-07:00

Late last Friday night, Bret called me over to the window to see the amazing, moonlit view. I had already removed my glasses for bed and was too lazy to walk to the other side of the room to put them back on. So Bret offered me his.

I put them on and...nothing. His glasses made the large blurs of light into medium blurs of light and that was it.

I felt crushed. Seriously, it felt like the wind was momentarily knocked out of me. I feel like crying just remembering it. Then again, I've been a bit teary the last few days already. Dumb hormone shifts.

I forget how awful my vision is. Not because I don't notice the stark difference between my bare eyes versus my eyes with glasses or contacts in front of them. But because I forget that other people don't see like I do. I get fairly jealous of other people and their vision. I don't remember what it's like to see clearly without anything on my face or in my eyes. Quite the bummer, if you ask me.

It's times like these that I have to focus on what I do have going for my eyes.

I live in a day and age when having bad vision is correctable.

I have the means to own glasses and contacts specifically prescribed for my eyes.

My eyes do still work, with the proper help.

Colors are just as vibrant for me as anyone else (at least, I think they are...).

A few years ago, I had a conversation with three year old Jonz about this very subject. While putting my contacts in one morning, Jonzy asked what I was doing. I said, "I'm putting my eyes in." Of course, this was right in the middle of the "why" phase so I gave further explanation (as simple as I could make it given the particular audience) that my eyes are broken and those little pieces of plastic helped my eyes to see better. I needed to put them on my eyes so I could see.

Upon hearing that Mommy's eyes were broken he was a little unnerved. So I went on to say that it was okay that my eyes are broken. Because of Jesus they wouldn't be broken forever. When I was resurrected I'd have perfect eyes again.

He doesn't remember that conversation. But every time I start to get a bit down because I can't see without help, those few moments with my son pop back into my head. I remember how great it felt sharing such things with my son and how it was true then and it's true now.

I'll have whole eyes and perfect vision again.

Just another awesome part of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. What an amazing plan:)

Irony

2011-02-19T19:17:00.002-07:00

Things I am finding ironic today:

The Iowa State Wrestling To-Do of 2011.
Girl competing in boys wrestling. Boy feels it inappropriate to engage a girl in such a way. He defaults to hold to his beliefs and not wrestle her. He publishes statement commending girl and explaining why he defaulted. She (technically, her father) issues a statement respecting the boy for doing what he believes is right; this obviously isn't the first time girl or father have faced this issue.

Respect all around, right? Nope. Certainly respect has been shown between girl (technically, girl's father) and boy. But the internet masses? Calling foul, sexism, inequality, lack of fair competition and recognition for achievements, name-calling etc. etc. etc.

Seriously, people? Let's take a clue from the ones who are actually involved.

Wisconsin. Unions. Budget.
Teachers walk off the job. Not striking. Just not working. Many students rejoicing in the free time. Many parents tearing their hair out because they can't go to work when the kids aren't in school.
If you really want my respect teacher's unions, encourage your members to do their jobs. Wait. That won't earn my respect either. For the teachers, certainly, but not the unions.
Teachers want respect for their work, but they're not working...ironic.

P.S. I love teachers. Most work harder than many, with little appreciation and too much stress and responsibility put on them that belongs to parents.
P.P.S. I don't love unions. Damaging to the system and the individual, I say. Not to mention, most are extremely corrupt.

Planned Parenthood voted to be de-funded by the US House of Reps. (HOORAY! Except odds of passing the Senate and President's desk are almost nil so I don't know why PP supporters are worried.)
This of course, spawns abortion debates across the internet world. Which brings to the forefront of my mind something that has long confused me.
Many who are pro-choice will go to great lengths to tug on my heartstrings of the horribly awful things some women face and that society shouldn't judge them or take away their right to choose an abortion. The compassion they show for these women is admirable. But where is the compassion for the one whose life is being taken away???? I don't understand how someone can show so much love and compassion for someone who is suffering and zero love or compassion for the child inside her.

P.S. I think PP is evil and they don't have women's best interest and health at heart as they say. If they did, and they didn't preform abortions I would be a big supporter. But they're corrupt and hypocritical and I say- good riddance (even though they're not going anywhere; like lack of federal money will stop them:/).

Isn't it ironic?

Thankful Thursday

2011-02-17T22:11:00.003-07:00

I'm tired.

(I know. "We know, Lindsey. Drop it already.")

Point being: the brain and I are not getting along in writing out a lovely, inspirational gratitude post tonight.

It's been a fun day. Co-Op. Sunshine. Fairly smooth errand-running. A successful trip to the library. A quiet evening at home (until Goose broke down from exhaustion). It's been a nice day.

And for that I am thankful:)

What are you thankful for today?

You think you know a guy...

2011-02-16T16:24:00.004-07:00

I was planning on culminating my posts on depression with a spiritually slammin' finish. I've decided that was a silly idea. Why go on and on and finish with the key? Why not acknowledge the key right from the off so it can be used throughout?

Well, I'm sorry I didn't do such acknowledging before. I hope I can make up for it now, but I think it's impossible to do this subject justice and I welcome any additions you have.

I'm here to tell you that without Jesus, I might as well be running myself into a brick wall over and over with my own efforts to conquer depression. This fight has taught me more about the Atonement and my Savior than anything else.

Yes, even more than motherhood.

I wondered for a long time why that was, still do in fact. Motherhood is the biggest challenge I've ever faced; one that doesn't end and I doubt I'll ever feel like a master of. I could not be the mother I am or accomplish an eighth of what I do without the support and strength and inspiration and tender mercies of Heavenly Father and Jesus.

I've felt the power of the Atonement often in my struggles with my role as a mother.

Why then has this depression junk struck more chords and helped me to understand the Atonement on a deeper spiritual plane than ever before?

Honestly...I don't know.

What I do know is that I comprehend in a whole new way that I am nothing without Christ.

That he is everything.

That he is the only way back to the Father.

That he gets me.

That he knows my mind better than I do.

That he's right there waiting to help me if only I ask (and often, even when I'm too prideful and I don't).

That he responds immediately when I ask.

That he perfectly understands my heartbreaks and joys.

And that he LOVES me!

From my earliest memories I have been taught about Jesus, what he did for me and you, how no one understands me better than him, and His life and ministry. I thought I understood. I thought I knew him. I thought we were pretty close.

But I know now that I barely know him at all. I have a feeling I've only begun to crack the shell to understanding Jesus Christ and the Atonement. Part of me is a bit terrified of that...(what else will I have to endure to find out more?) and part of me is yearning for more (Seriously? It gets even better?!?! I want that!).

So I suppose I am grateful for depression and how it made me see more clearly that there are things that can't possibly be overcome without Jesus. More things than not!

He is the way, the truth, and the light!

I've loved this scripture for at least a decade. It's come to mean even more to me in the past few years.

Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things.
Alma 26:12

Please, add to this. What have you learned about Jesus through your struggles? Share scriptures, hymns, thoughts, ideas- anything! I want to know what you know, too!

"Pills and bills. Pills and bills"

2011-02-15T09:43:00.004-07:00

Two thousand points to the one who correctly names the movie the post title comes from...

I always get a sour taste in my mouth when I hear about depression medication. For a long time, I didn't know why. The fact that people take medicine for such things just rubbed me the wrong way. Disclaimer: That doesn't mean I harshly judged those who did take such things. It merely made me cringe a bit and that was the extent of it.

It wasn't until last year when I put a name to specific personal trials that I decided to figure out why I innately recoiled from pills for depression. When I did name my struggles as depression one of my first thoughts was, "Dang. Do I need to go get some pills?" That actually made me shiver. Literally. It was a creepy moment. Until I said, "okay. No pills." and felt relieved.

So pills were definitely not the right choice for me. But why?

It wasn't until I concluded that depression was a fight against temptation that I figured it out, and there's lots of different aspects of my disdain for such meds. Here they are:

My emotions are MINE; one of the few things I can exercise control over. I can't balance out a God that would give me agency to choose my own way and a God who wouldn't give me a way out of struggles I found myself in unless I purchased medicine.

I tried before to take control of my internal chemicals. Birth control messed me up in multiple ways. Never again will I subject my body to externally-controlled chemical levels unless absolutely necessary (e.g. should I suddenly find myself without ovaries).

I shouldn't be able to take a pill for temptation. That's cheating.

And lastly, here's an idea I take from a discussion on this subject with someone I love and respect who didn't know about the extent of my personal struggles. Honestly, what's the difference between popping a pill for depression and having a glass of wine? Dulling my senses, taking the edge off, or helping myself relax with such assistance would not be a good idea.

Oddly enough, the decision to not take medication has added a new struggle (while also empowering me with the confidence to really fight back against these temptations). Before I put my opinions on depression meds in concrete, I didn't care one way or the other what other people did. Now? Now I get angry when I think of other people taking them, or worse find out someone I know takes them.

I feel like they're taking the easy way through what I have had to fight tooth and nail for and my pride wants other people to recognize how hard this is and that the fix isn't simply taking a pill. At the same time I feel sad because they're probably just making the process that much harder on themselves because they're not finding a real solution.

I also try to remember that in today's society, the way to fix depression is to take a pill. Most people accept that at face value. Many of them don't like it, but they don't think there's another way.

So I can't make assumptions or be upset at other people who take depression meds. Unless of course they call me a jerk and spit in my face and tell me that my conclusions are idiotic, then I might be upset for real. Yet another personal problem I have to work on.

There you have it. My thoughts on depression pills. What do you think? Agree or disagree? Anything to add that it looks like I haven't considered?

Semper Fi

2011-02-12T17:44:00.001-07:00

I mean, Simplify!

I got tired of the bold colors here, so I went for major simple. What do you think?

Thankful Thursday

2011-02-10T22:21:00.002-07:00

I'm feeling kind of flighty today. I have no desire to sit in front of the computer. Flighty-ness notwithstanding, I have been thinking of lots of things I am thankful for today. Such as:

My amazing, logical, rational husband who makes me smile even when I'm not inclined to.

Freedom to play with my hair this afternoon

Showers

Inquisitive sons

Crock pot dinners

Co-Op

The opportunity to talk to women especially since I hang out with little boys all day whose favorite forms of entertainment involve choking, punching, and general inflicting of pain on their brothers (seriously, why do boys find these things so amusing; 'bout drove me bonkers today!).

Scriptures

Love songs

What are you thankful for today?

Well, that was nice!

2011-02-09T09:22:00.002-07:00

Way back in October of 2008, I was a busy, bordering-on-crazy woman.

Sure I was before that and I still am, but I had to start this post somehow.

I had an...active three year old who was almost potty trained and 11 month old twins. Life was tiring, to say the least. I had breaks, but they were only ever at night after the boys were all asleep because the little ones were still nursing. I appreciate getting out and about whenever I can, but I prefer to do it in daylight.

So imagine my shock and delight when a woman approached me at church one Sunday and told me that she was going to come over on Tuesday and watch my boys and I was to leave and do whatever I wanted. I sputtered for a bit, wanting to accept, but feeling bad that I was getting the better end of the deal. She assured me it was no big deal, she'd bring her nine and ten year olds to help play with the boys.

I planned some errands and was super excited to be able to get three knocked off the list by myself instead of the one-at-a-time I accomplished with all the boys in tow. Tuesday arrived and so did three wonderful people. I told them I'd be back to relieve them in an hour. To which she said, "Oh no! Stay out longer than that! Stay out as long as you like." She'd even brought lunch for the boys!

Oh what a relaxing day it was! I got so much done. I even grabbed some lunch, went to a park, and ate and lay in the sunshine for a while. When I got back I got the boys settled for a nap and got some things done around the house. It was so wonderful!

And it left me with the conviction that when my kids are a bit older, I'm going to be like Donna and find a mom with little kids and make her take a long break. Regularly. It's going to be my go-to "how can I help?"

Such a simple act on her part left a major impression on me. And even though I'm not able to do the same service yet, it did give me a big shove in being more aware of what I can do to reach out and lift up others around me.

This post is part of Chocolate on my Cranium's Wordfull Wednesday.

Cha-ching!

2011-02-07T18:24:00.004-07:00

Bret and I had a first on Saturday.

For years we've been getting these offers in the mail. You know the ones- "Happy birthday! We want to send you on a 3 day/2 night stay anywhere in the continental United States!" Right down to, "Dinner for two on us!"

We finally decided to take up an offer when a big one came a couple weeks ago. Of course we knew there would be catches. These things always come with a requirement to sit through a sales pitch of some kind. And with travel it's usually for timeshares (of which we are not fans). We assumed we'd be listening to a timeshare offer-of-a-lifetime, which we would easily say no to, then be on our merry way.

Turns out it was a vacation club once-in-a-lifetime pitch. I'm not gonna lie. It was a tempting offer. And if we were the kind of family who traveled often, we probably would have gone for it. But the one big catch, the one that hit the nail in the coffin for me, was that this really was a once in a lifetime offer. A you walk out that door and try to come back, the price goes up many thousands of dollars so it's now or never offer. And we told the guys, flat out, we're just not going to buy something before we have a few days to think about it; we never have, we never will. To which they tried to give us the whole "statistics show that if you don't sell people on this the first time, they're not going to come back so we have to get them at the first visit." And the whole time I'm thinking, "Um, they don't come back because you told them they can't." Or, "Maybe they're not coming back because when they thought about it, it really wasn't a good idea to buy...didyaevathinkathat?"

But really, it was a great deal...for people who plan to travel extensively. And I'm glad we didn't take the bait and buy in. I feel like such a responsible adult:) Plus, when our kids are older and we get the hankerin' to travel all we have to do is ask my parents or one of my brothers to go listen to the pitch and split the cost with them because the membership is transferable between family. Cha-ching!

Unless of course they change the deal ten years down the road and that's no longer available. Which leaves us no worse off because we weren't planning on traveling that much anyway. Cha-ching!

It was a very funny experience. One that wasn't on my bucket list, but should have been. It feels like a right of passage:) And now---Bret and I have a free round trip to anywhere in the lower 48! Major restrictions to be sure (3 days/2 nights- read two days in airports, one day vacation), but for the cost of a rental car and souvenirs, we can see somewhere in the US that we hadn't planned on seeing. Cha-ching!

Time to start researching where to go, but preliminaries have my mouth watering for Philadelphia or Virginia. The site seeing that could be done!

I wonder how far Mt. Vernon is from Monticello...

Thankful Thursday

2011-02-03T21:34:00.002-07:00

Things to be thankful for today.

That's a lot of words starting with t...I wonder if I can make the things I'm thankful for today start with the letter t...

Temples. That was easy.
Bret and I got to go to the temple with some people from our ward tonight. It was spectacular, as always:)

Time. Time to work, time to rest, time to shower:)
I love the fairly flexible time my schedule has that makes life a little easier for me to handle when a wrench comes flying in.

Too-tees. Delicious too-tees.
Okay, so I had to cheat. That's supposed to be cookies. But if you pronounce it like my talented family members do when using their Donald Duck voices, it sounds like it starts with a t!
I'm going to go eat a too-tee and crash for the night!

What are you thankful for today?

Label, label, label

2011-01-30T19:21:00.002-07:00

In today's society, I can be known by many labels.

Closed minded.

Old fashioned.

Religious sheep.

Prude.

Housewife.

I'm disappointed when these labels start coming out. It usually means that conversation has degraded into grown up name-calling and any semblance of intelligent sharing of ideals is lost.

I wish I could convey to those who bandy such labels around that they're not breaking me or disproving my opinions by calling me such things. Sure, the intent to offend and the knowledge that because I am these things means they think I'm mindless bother me. Not because I've had my feelings hurt; by definition, I am happy to be known by these labels. However, these days there is massive negative connotation with these labels.

Let's break it down-

Closed minded. This is one I would argue with. I think I am more open minded than anyone who accuses me of having a closed mind. To have an open mind is to be willing to consider new ideas and information; closed minded is the exact opposite. No where, in any definition I have read, is it required to embrace those new ideas and information to be considered open minded. I never hear something new and dismiss it automatically. I have a mind of my own and I use it. So, having been faced with the notion that I am a closed minded person, I have examined the facets of such an idea and will now dismiss it as ludicrous;)

Old fashioned. Honestly, why is it bad to think that my grandparents way of thinking was a-ok? They were fantastic people whom we should all aspire to be like. It's a pity you didn't know them.

Religious sheep. Really? Jesus is called the Good Shepherd. Of course I want to be a religious sheep!

Prude. Thank you very much:) Such a label means I'm someone who has inhibitions, propriety; and I hope to always be "one who is easily offended by matters of a sexual nature." I don't think matters of a sexual nature are anything to be taken as lightly as the media would have us believe. Why is that bad? It isn't.

Housewife. Yes, I am found in my house the majority of my time. I am a wife. So...logically- housewife. And happy to be so. The world is a crazy place and I much prefer my home.

I'm sure there are other "derogatory" labels I can be known by, but I've devoted as much time as I want to to this for now. Time to go do my housewifely duty and put the boys to bed;)

Thankful Thursday

2011-01-27T21:48:00.003-07:00

I'm thankful today for clean kitchens.

My mood sometimes seems to be hinged on the state of my kitchen. Or perhaps my the cleanliness (or lack thereof) of my kitchen is a result of my mood...

Chicken or egg? Which came first, the clean kitchen or the cheerful Lindsey? Haha, very witty;)

But seriously, when my kitchen is cluttered I'm often easily irritated. When it's clean, I seem to have deeper patience wells.

Case in point- yesterday I did not do a good job in the kitchen. Result? Messy kitchen to greet me this morning. How does it get so messy in one day?!?

After a crazy morning with the kids and a not very productive afternoon, I managed to get the kitchen back to what it should be during the boys' snack time. The late afternoon and evening were much better than the morning and early afternoon.

Does my kitchen really have magical powers?

Sure, it might have something to do with the fact that it's easier to get around in the heart of our house when it's clean and that good work is a mood lifter. Both happy things.

But I like thinking that my kitchen is magic, too.

And I'm very thankful that my kitchen is clean today, that I'll wake up to a clean kitchen tomorrow morning (mostly because Bret did all the dinner dishes!:)), and that I can go to bed knowing I was a better mom by the end of the day than the one I started out being this morning.

What about you? Does your kitchen reflect your mood, too? Or perhaps your mood reflects your kitchen?

And what are you thankful for today?

My favorite childhood books

2011-01-26T16:10:00.005-07:00

I can't remember when I started reading for hours at a time. I really can't remember when I discovered my drive to read at all.

It seems in those dusty corners of my memories that there was a time I didn't really like to read. Can that really be or is my mind playing tricks on me?...

Whatever the case, I do recall many books that I loved as a child.

Like this one, "What Do People Do All Day?" by Richard Scarry-

I still get lost in all those pictures.

Of course there was also, "Black Beauty," by Anna Sewell and, "Where the Sidewalk Ends," by Shel Silverstein.

But I've always been more of a series lover.

My brothers had a bunch of Encyclopedia Brown and Hardy Boys books that I would pilfer. I can't tell you how excited I was when I found the Nancy Drew books in my middle school library. Girl detective stories!

Then there's the Boxcar Children books, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, the Ramona books, and these-

I loved reading the Great Brain books and I don't know why. I am big on justice; abnormally so. The bad guy must always get his comeuppance. And T.D. never really got his. He'd weasel other kids out of their money or possessions. Sometimes he'd get in trouble, but even when he did he always had a way of passing on the guilt to someone else. Punk. And yet, I really enjoy those books.

And I think it would be a sin to blog about favorite childhood books without mentioning the Little House on the Prairie books.

I like this little jot down memory lane. I think I'll have to do it again sometime. Thanks, Chocolate on my Cranium, for the Wordfull Wednesday idea I was tempted enough to get in on!

You are Here

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